Huge panic attack over double vision/ brain tumour please can somebody talk to me

[fuckthisfuckingshit]

My mum died last week after an awful time with cancer. I'm not ok. I

Today I got up and my vision suddenly went blurred for a few seconds and wouldn't clear. I took my glasses off and it was ok but now I'm absolutely destroyed with panic that it's a brain tumour or aneurysm or I had a stroke?

I amshaking and can't physically warm up, my body has turned to ice.

I can't deal with any more medical stuff right now I need it to stop, the panic and the dread that something else awful is going to happen and I cannot do surgery or more cancer and I just want to go to dignitas if that's what happening now,.

Sounds ridiculous but my mind is racing and I cannot make it stop. Please help me make it stop, I have taken a beta blocker.

It's 'just' the stress, op. Honestly, I wouldn't worry about making appointments etc. You're just dealing with what's happened to your mum. It will all work itself out. Take it easy.

Almost certainly low blood pressure. Did you see stars too? I had this quite a bit when pregnant.

You are under a lot of stress right now. I know it's hard when you're spiralling, but I was taught in CBT for health anxiety to put it aside for a few hours then dedicate some time to worrying about it later. If you can do this for a few days, you may find your worry has soon passed - especially if it was a one off.

I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. Do you have anyone to support you just now?

You have my greatest sympathy. Many years ago my mother died from breast cancer and it was horrible to witness her in so much pain. Then I started getting pains in my breasts. It was nothing, just because of the stress and fear of it all

I would make sure to get your eyes checked. They say sudden double vision needs to be checked. Though my friend had it and she's got an actual brain tumour and it turned out it was her medication that caused it!

But blurry vision could just be stress. Could be dehydration. There's so many things but I wouldn't worry. Stroke brain tumour etc and it would probably not go away after a few mins

If you're worried go get checked 😀

Honestly OP I have so much sympathy for you. Firstly for the loss of your mum which is one of the biggest life events you can go through and now also for this frightening event. I have had this happen to me and thought I was having a stroke. I had all the investigations and it was an ocular migraine brought on by stress. I wouldn't try and get appointments now where you are I think that will stress you further but I would take some deep breaths, accept you are having a very difficult time and try to stay calm. Do you have anyone in real life you can talk to?

I have a very similar situation to you. Lost my dad 2 years ago with a brain tumour.
In the last year I have had major visual migraines, blurred vision flickering eyes.
Its all been checked out by an optician. GP couldn't give a tiny rats ass TBH the closest I got to an appointment was with a prescribing pharmacist.

I have come to the conclusion that it is a mixture of stress and the impending menopause!

Never underestimate the effects stress can have on your body. Make sure you take care of yourself and get plenty of rest. Don't start having a little glass of something strong to sleep as that isn't quality sleep....
sending a virtual hug your way x

So sorry for your loss OP. My husband had similar, he went to the optician who diagnosed visual migraines. Best to get it checked out by with optician or GP.

I'm spiralling. Blood pressure was 137/ 88 in the local pharmacy which seems high to me? Mine is normally about 115/ 60 something?

How urgentlky do I need to get checked out? Can it wait until I get home on Monday?

It's a 3.5 hour journey to nearest hospital and I don't have a car. Honestly don't have the execfutive function to figure this out.

Can you get to an optician over the weekend?

My husband went to the hospital with the same symptoms as advised by 111 and they told him this was definitely not an emergency!!

You're overtired, stressed, grieving and now you are panicking. Your blood pressure is fine - it has risen, but not in any way dangerously.

Blurry vision happens when people are tired. Blurry vision happens when they are beginning to hyperventilate through anxiety. Panic happens often when the immediate threat or danger/traumatic event has actually lessened, as you've been used to running on that adrenaline to get through the previous days/weeks/months. Add in some caffeine and you get blurry vision, greater anxiety with nowhere to run to.

As you very astutely put it, you're spiralling. Because it is anxiety, pure and simple. And completely understandable with what you've endured recently.

That blood pressure is fine. It may be high for you - hence the weird visual disturbances- but it’s my (and millions of others “normal”).

It’s fine to wait until next week and I’d suggest the optician.

I had double-vision and it was due to a much more serious cause - but it came on over the course of a few months. The optician sent me from her office straight to the CT scanner.

To calm yourself quickly please try square breathing.

Long breath in for a count of four. Hold for four. Out for four. Hold for four. Start again.

That blood pressure is absolutely fine. Nothing wrong with that at all

Yes I think you'd be fine. But ring 111 if you're concerned.

Bereavement is exhausting, absolutely draining. I was told chemicals go wild in your body, all those emotions have hormones and goodness knows what else attached to them. It all affects you physically, mentally and emotionally. There were days when I was dizzy, days I was spaced out, days I could barely have told you my name.
Speak to your doctor if you’re worried but don’t ever under-estimate the effects of grief.
I’m so sorry for your loss. If your mum was having hospice care there will be bereavement counsellors there who will talk through any of your worries with you.

I agree with the last couple of posts, this is most likely brought on by anxiety, I have had the exact same thing happen to me when I was having anxiety/nervous breakdown, your eyes just don't focus or function right and everything is a bit out of focus. In my case it took a few weeks to resolve and I can't even say when it did. I find Claire Weekes books very helpful for reassurance about this aspect of nervous exhaustion, which is where your flight or fight has been switched on too much and basically you burnout after a while, with panic attacks and a host of physical and mental symptoms (also like catastrophising which you are also doing).

I wouldn't rush around trying to go to a hospital or GP, there is nothing they can do urgently, even a brain scan would take days to arrange, and that's if there were more symptoms anyway. you need to acknowledge that you are sad, grieving and stressed and you will feel odd for a while right now. An optician might do basic checks which might make you feel better but they can't solve blurry vision due to stress, I would go in the next week or two if it reassures you a bit.

It's not about stress this exact morning, it's about stress over the past months and even years and it's all coming out now, which is very common.

Bereavement causes all sorts of physical symptoms - heart palpitations, chest pains, aches and pains...I went 'blind' in one eye a few days after losing my daughter. It resolved after a few hours and was a grief reaction. So sorry to hear about your mum, it's a huge loss and no wonder you're struggling.

How are you feeling today @fuckthisfuckingshit
Better I hope