Work - should I stay or should I go?

[TakeYourHatOffBoy]

I have a work dilemma and cannot decide what to do for the best, so need the hive mind to help me work through my options. I've had to change some details as this is genuinely a bit outing but basically the issue is this:

I moved area a couple of years ago in order to buy a house in a cheaper location. A few months after moving I took a more local job in the same industry. Same money, short commute (although mainly wfh) slightly less responsibility, really nice team, all good. I was really happy and settled.

Anyway, in the last 6 months the new job has become extremely stressful and difficult due to stuff that I have no control over. Day to day work has become very intense and tricky. It's the same for the whole team, not just me. There is also a slim possibility that due to what's going on, within the 12 months I could be looking at redundancy. I think this is unlikely, but it is unsettling. This current situation will either get a lot worse (ie we will lose our jobs) or it will calm down, but not for a long time (boss said the other day that these issues would continue 'for the next few years').

But, fundamentally I really really like this job and the people. I don't want to leave, but it's pretty miserable right now, the future is uncertain and it's all a bit shit.

My old boss has contacted me to say that there is a vacancy coming up, basically my old job. It will be a much longer, much more expensive commute (2 hours each way, hundreds of £ per month) and less wfh. That job has its own significant stresses and is in some ways a more difficult, complex role than my current one would be (in normal times). I'm not likely to get enough of a pay rise to make up the cost of the commute and the additional expenses that come with wfh less often. But it is a secure job that I could slip back into easily with none of the specific awfulness / uncertainty my current job has. I am 99.9% sure I would get it if I applied.

In an ideal world I would stay where I am, as in normal times it's lovely, but I feel as if the sensible move would be to go back to my old job for the security. I am worried that if I don't move, in a year's time I'll be unemployed anyway! I feel a bit paralysed with it all.

YABU - stay in your current job

YANBU - take the new job

God sorry, that was long!

Also, for context, am 50, mortgage, supporting child at uni, main earner, cannot currently afford pay cut or to lose job!

Neither sound ideal . I'd stay out and search for something more local . I've done the long work commute and it's not fun .

From what you wrote I would stay where you are. Deal with the redundancy if it happens. There doesn't seem any benefits going backwards x

Stay put

Third option, stay put and look for something better

There's nothing more local. My current job is the 'local' one. I m on a fairly high salary for the area.

Definitely stay where you are! That commute is ridiculous

I wouldn't go for the job in your old workplace, that commute sounds miserable.

I would be brushing up my CV and seeing what else is out there though, the current stress of your job looking likely for a few more years would be the kicker for me.

Commute is ridiculous, although it would only be a couple of days a week most of the time. I wfh about 80% of the time now and only have a short commute, new job would be wfh probably 60% of the time and long commute. There would be times in new job when I wouldn't have to be in at all for several weeks.

Neither sound good options. I certainly wouldn't swap to have a 2hr commute that doesn't even compensate me financially. Stay put and look for a better job.

Honestly, there is nothing local that would give me the same salary. Believe me I've looked! Anything else would mean a significant commute (lots of people do it from here but I don't really want to!)

Why on earth would you go for a job that meant you were commuting for four hours a day?

Stay put and keep looking.

You can't do a daily 2 hr commute each way, that's unsustainable.
Look for another closer job, meanwhile is there anything at all you can do or ask for to make your current role any better?

I definitely wouldn't take the old job unless you can negotiate to WFH permanently. I wouldn't do that commute at 50 in a million years, had enough of that when I was younger. Time is too precious to spend that many hours commuting.

I would stick at the new job for now unless it becomes really intolerable.

Unfortunately not, these are external pressures that we have absolutely no control over. I would love to give details but it would genuinely be outing. We are all in a really shitty position due to stuff we can't actually change. It's fucking awful.

A lot of people will only read your OP, and I think your “hundred of pounds commute” and “less WFH” comments there are a little misleading - it sounded like more than 2 days a week.

Can you stay over if it’s 2 consecutive days? Old friend who be interested in a regular agreement? That would reduce the time lost to commute.

Can you challenge the WFH balance back in old company, given they came to you?

I wouldn’t go back into your old role though. Go back with a promotion, or not at all.

If that’s not on offer, then I’d keep the short commute whilst looking elsewhere.

Yeah, apologies, the commute wouldn't be daily and there is flexibility but it's still a long and expensive journey.

If you can wfh in your new job and it's the same principle as the new job, can you not wfh at the old job? ( that's more confusing written down than it sounded in my head, sorry)!

Personally I'd stay out, but if you're really miserable it's hard.

I’m curious about what is making things intense and tricky at your current workplace. Is it the sort of situation that could also arise if you go back to your old job?

Why redundancies - it sounds like you’re very busy?

What if old workplace suddenly said no more WFH? A 2 hour commute sounds horrendous.

Maybe things will settle down sooner than you think at current role. I’d stick with it and look more locally, in a different field maybe if you say there’s no other jobs like yours locally.

Current job and old job are fundamentally the same but set-up slightly differently, hence difference in wfh needs.

We are extremely busy but redundancies would still happen. It's not a case of our jobs not being 'needed' anymore, more that they would just no longer exist. Sorry, I know cryptic answers are really annoying but am trying to be a bit cautious.

Anyway, thank you everyone - you've given me the answer I kind of wanted which is to stay put and see what happens! Keep your fingers crossed for me though. I wish I could be more open but that's another thread!

Neither sound great. I'd stick where you are and look for a new job. And if that means you have to commute, you get a job that financially makes it worth your while to do the commute.