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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to be disappointed in Social Services response to concerns raised?

98 replies

x6214x · 08/02/2023 21:57

I’ll preface this by saying I think social workers do an absolutely incredible job in extremely challenging circumstances and this is no way intended to be a thread bashing social workers!

This morning I was on the bus during school drop off time and a woman got on with a number of children, she shouted and swore at the children, called them names and threatened to hit them. The bus driver intervened and they got off at the next stop. I was debating saying something myself but the bus driver beat me to it. When I arrived at work I looked up the number to report my concerns to social services and called them up. Admittedly, I did have very limited information (I had first names I had picked up from overhearing the conversations, the vicinity they got off at for school, a teachers name that one of the children had mentioned and the colour of the school uniform. To cut a long story short I was told unless I had the children’s full names and date of births they couldn’t take a report. In the end I spent an hour myself googling nearby schools and checking the staff lists for the name of the teacher mentioned- I tracked this down and reported my concerns directly to them who said they would be passing this Information onto children’s services.

AIBU to think that if I’m able to track this down then surely call handlers should have the resources/ability to do this too? Maybe I was being a bit OTT but I tend to be of the opinion that it’s better to report and it be nothing than not to report and it be something. I imagine a lot of people who have concerns regarding the welfare of a child won’t always have full names and date of births and it made me think/worry how many at risk children are being missed due to reports not being taken when information or concerns are volunteered.

OP posts:
PMAmostofthetime · 08/02/2023 23:10

x6214x · 08/02/2023 21:57

I’ll preface this by saying I think social workers do an absolutely incredible job in extremely challenging circumstances and this is no way intended to be a thread bashing social workers!

This morning I was on the bus during school drop off time and a woman got on with a number of children, she shouted and swore at the children, called them names and threatened to hit them. The bus driver intervened and they got off at the next stop. I was debating saying something myself but the bus driver beat me to it. When I arrived at work I looked up the number to report my concerns to social services and called them up. Admittedly, I did have very limited information (I had first names I had picked up from overhearing the conversations, the vicinity they got off at for school, a teachers name that one of the children had mentioned and the colour of the school uniform. To cut a long story short I was told unless I had the children’s full names and date of births they couldn’t take a report. In the end I spent an hour myself googling nearby schools and checking the staff lists for the name of the teacher mentioned- I tracked this down and reported my concerns directly to them who said they would be passing this Information onto children’s services.

AIBU to think that if I’m able to track this down then surely call handlers should have the resources/ability to do this too? Maybe I was being a bit OTT but I tend to be of the opinion that it’s better to report and it be nothing than not to report and it be something. I imagine a lot of people who have concerns regarding the welfare of a child won’t always have full names and date of births and it made me think/worry how many at risk children are being missed due to reports not being taken when information or concerns are volunteered.

I think you should call get the email address and put it in writing- it wouldn't be hard for these children to be traced with their first names and school uniform colour and vicinity they got on and off.

I don't think your being unreasonable. SS locate children in a lot less information.

ChimbarasiKotapaxi · 08/02/2023 23:12

I think the fact that you traced the school and reported to them was immensely caring OP and spot on

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 08/02/2023 23:14

I really don’t know what people expect social services to do with a fraction of information. They don’t have some divine window into a random time on a random bus. You can’t just throw out the odd name and expect them to find people from that. Because even if they DID find them, social services work off facts and if they paid a visit to the mum and she said “I didn’t do that” what are they supposed to do?

Jazzy21 · 08/02/2023 23:15

I’ve never had any contact with social services until my nephew suffered an injury whilst in the care of his dad (parents not in a relationship).
It was pure neglect that caused the injury, and he then lied about it. Lots of other “anger issues” too. Social services were absolutely shite. Can only assume they’re overstretched and underfunded. I commend you for caring enough about what you saw to do your own research but you’re right, they won’t do anything.

Cassie4 · 08/02/2023 23:17

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 08/02/2023 23:14

I really don’t know what people expect social services to do with a fraction of information. They don’t have some divine window into a random time on a random bus. You can’t just throw out the odd name and expect them to find people from that. Because even if they DID find them, social services work off facts and if they paid a visit to the mum and she said “I didn’t do that” what are they supposed to do?

Check with the bus driver....which wouldn't be difficult....

You have no idea what a welfare check might turn up. Might not turn up anything - but this woman may have a history with social services previously, she may have kids living in squalor, there might be clear signs of physical abuse.

But no one is going to know if they don't do the check.

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 08/02/2023 23:19

Cassie4 · 08/02/2023 23:17

Check with the bus driver....which wouldn't be difficult....

You have no idea what a welfare check might turn up. Might not turn up anything - but this woman may have a history with social services previously, she may have kids living in squalor, there might be clear signs of physical abuse.

But no one is going to know if they don't do the check.

Show quote history

Why would the bus driver have their names and DOBs?

social services are working at a ridiculously low capacity and high workload, they don’t have time to play Nancy Drew.

PMAmostofthetime · 08/02/2023 23:24

@TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl

I agree they have a lot of work to do and are understaffed but a sibling group of names and a school is not exactly being Nancy drew- quick email to the safeguarding lead at the school asking if they know who

Children who are siblings called Z R and E are who catch the bus to school are?

Children identified easily.

Then they can do basic welfare checks like ask the school if they have any concerns?

OP is right to be annoyed.

I would definitely put it in writing or if you think you know the school I'd call them to raise concerns and then they can refer.

UsingChangeofName · 08/02/2023 23:27

Coffeellama · 08/02/2023 22:07

Yes they should have more time, money and resources to follow up calls, but that’s the governments fault. The fact is they don’t have this time, money etc, and all you saw was a mum shouting at kids on a bus, that’s a lot of tail chasing for most likely nothing.

I agree with this.

You were very generous with your time, doing all that research and calling the school, but, back in the real world of underfunding, I can virtually guarantee the school are already aware of the family, how the adults speak to the dc, and know full well that - whilst everyone will agree it is horrible and no child should have to live like that - social care do not have the resources, or legal back up to do anything about the many, many, many examples of piss poor parenting that children live with throughout their lives.
This is daily reality for thousands of dc across the country, and won't change without a massive, and I mean MASSIVE change in both funding and culture.

It seems 'the voting public' don't have the stomach for that.
Society as a whole love to do some public grieving and hand wringing when an occasional case hits the headlines, and then bury it's head in the sand as to the reality of life for so many, that is ongoing in every local authority in the land, far more commonly than most of society has any idea about.

MajorCarolDanvers · 08/02/2023 23:27

You'd have been better reporting this to the police. They can investigate things. Social services don't have the resources etc for that.

Spinninggyro · 08/02/2023 23:28

And to all you who are saying she should keep her nose out... shame on you. Safe guarding is everyone's responsibility.

Well said ChatinMyFlat, I agree with you. This is the second time today that someone has expressed concern about a child and has had quite rude responses.

Stompythedinosaur · 08/02/2023 23:30

I agree that it would be ideal if ss was staffed to address things such as this and investigate properly.

But they aren't, and the behaviour you've described is (sadly) far below the bar for ss involvement.

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 08/02/2023 23:31

MajorCarolDanvers · 08/02/2023 23:27

You'd have been better reporting this to the police. They can investigate things. Social services don't have the resources etc for that.

What crime did the mum commit?

watchfulwishes · 08/02/2023 23:35

Coffeellama · 08/02/2023 22:07

Yes they should have more time, money and resources to follow up calls, but that’s the governments fault. The fact is they don’t have this time, money etc, and all you saw was a mum shouting at kids on a bus, that’s a lot of tail chasing for most likely nothing.

This.

If SS are to be expected to follow up on every call about unknown children being sworn at, they would need a staff many multiples of the number they have now.
Currently due to deliberate Tory underfunding there are a great many vacancies and staff can't follow up on known abuse situations.

OP YABU to expect SS to be able to deal with this stuff.

Cassie4 · 08/02/2023 23:38

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 08/02/2023 23:19

Why would the bus driver have their names and DOBs?

social services are working at a ridiculously low capacity and high workload, they don’t have time to play Nancy Drew.

Show quote history

Let's break this down.

The bus driver wouldn't have their names or DOB.

But you said - If Social services paid a visit and the Mum denied it.

I said they could verify what happened with the bus driver.

All that's beside the point. The point is the welfare check might turn something up.

Social services have the info via the school.

Desertbarncat · 08/02/2023 23:39

Why didn’t you step in while it was happening and say something to the mother? I am far more concerned that none of you parents did anything but complain to the bus driver.

QueefQueen80s · 08/02/2023 23:40

Spinninggyro · 08/02/2023 23:28

And to all you who are saying she should keep her nose out... shame on you. Safe guarding is everyone's responsibility.

Well said ChatinMyFlat, I agree with you. This is the second time today that someone has expressed concern about a child and has had quite rude responses.

That poster probably talks to their kids like shit too.
All those dead children and people saying "we should have noticed more" well OP did just that.

makingarunforit · 08/02/2023 23:47

The social workers in our area are dealing with huge numbers of referrals. I'm talking of hundreds of referrals queued waiting to be processed. The workloads are huge and a lot of the cases are complex with lots of different agencies involved. It's not just a case of "just being a bit busy" or "not being bothered".

Referrals are triaged in the same way that patients are in A&E. The issue you're talking about is the equivalent of a paper cut to your little finger. They're not going to spend hours investigating how you did it then zip you straight down to theatre to get it sorted when they're dealing with a serious road traffic accident or someone having a heart attack or any other crisis that they're trying to firefight.

Suggest you ring the police on the non-emergency number and get it logged. Not an awful lot more you can do than that without knowing who she is.

UsingChangeofName · 08/02/2023 23:49

That's well explained @makingarunforit

kitcat15 · 08/02/2023 23:49

Without names it was never going anywhere OP

MajorCarolDanvers · 08/02/2023 23:57

@TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl

What crime did the mum commit?

The police can do a welfare check.

Swearing. Name calling. Threatening to hit children.

Sounds like a family in need of some help.

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 08/02/2023 23:58

MajorCarolDanvers · 08/02/2023 23:57

@TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl

What crime did the mum commit?

The police can do a welfare check.

Swearing. Name calling. Threatening to hit children.

Sounds like a family in need of some help.

Police rarely come out for burglaries let alone name calling on a bus.

I wonder how much time is wasted with these ridiculous calls

makingarunforit · 09/02/2023 00:04

The only other thing you could have done is checked if the bus had CCTV. Not really sure on rules on photographing or taking video of someone without their consent but that's a potential option. A safeguarding concern may be considered to be a reasonable exception.

Summerfun54321 · 09/02/2023 00:06

That sounds like an awful thing to have witnessed and you were very caring by taking it further and trying to report it. Let's just hope others who are closer to the family and have more information are willing to do the same. If the mum acted like that in public she may be known to social services already.

Thedogscollar · 09/02/2023 00:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

What exactly is your problem? Your replies in virtually all your posts are nasty and accusing.
OP you did absolutely the right thing. Safeguarding is everyone's business.
It's people like @Keyansier who turn a blind eye that should think on to what might await these kids behind closed doors.

Testino · 09/02/2023 01:07

OP what you did was what you're meant to do - find the right and accurate information to give them so they have something to go on. They couldn't possibly just go looking for random children in a school they may or may not be in and a random teacher based on first names, at least not based on them being shouted and sworn at. As others have said, there aren't enough/any workers dedicated to those roles.

You did the right thing - the children probably need some support.