I'm in my early-mid 20s. I'd never had mental health problems as such growing up (although I did struggle emotionally at times with certain things) but it was only really when covid struck that my mental health was badly affected. I was prescribed antidepressants and started going to therapy.
Initially I thought it was all related to the pandemic as when it started I had some very stressful experiences, especially in the early stages of the crisis. But actually as I have progressed in counselling I think the groundwork for poor mental health was probably laid in childhood and then the pandemic was simply the trigger that made it all come to the surface.
Growing up I was always a "good" child who didn't cause any trouble and who worked hard at school. I was pretty shy, stayed under the radar. But actually I think this was my way of dealing with one angry and volatile parent and another upset hurting parent. I didn't want to rock the boat, and I still don't at times. I had quite an isolated childhood, I had friends at school but no family beyond the immediate and no family friends. My parents separated from each other and they didn't have any friends to speak of. We never really had anyone round to our house, apart from the odd friend from school. Nobody checked if I was ok and I just kept my head down and got on with things.
I now struggle to express my own needs and am currently struggling with depression and some anxiety. While I don't want to get stuck in this place I feel it is important to acknowledge the impact that my childhood must have had on me. AIBU to think it's no wonder that my mental health has now been affected by it? I am determined not to take on a victim mentality and hope that my mental health will improve and I will overcome my experience, but I also want to validate my pain and struggle growing up.