Sinking fast

[Girdlebum]

Sorry to post in AIBU but needed the traffic.
I’m at the end of my tether with life. I have 3 DC on my own and I can’t afford them. I don’t get any help from their dad. I’m on benefits and desperate to go back to work(youngest is one)
Everything costs SO much. The behaviour of the older 2 DC is just awful, too. I dread my days with them. This is going to be my weekend with them and I’m considering texting their dad telling him to pick them up from school on Friday, then just turning off my phone and hiding. I hate myself for feeling like this. I have £2 to my name for the next 10 days, no fuel in my car, barely any food in the cupboards. I just want to run away. There’s no one I can ask for help with money. No one.
I don’t want to end my life, but I don’t want this life

I’m listening @Girdlebum Can you tell us any more about your feelings of wanting to run away? 💐

This sounds tough OP. But there is help out there. Speak to your health visitor and get a referral for food back.
How old are the other 2 children?

Hi op, I didn't want to read and run. Talk to us here, just getting your feelings out and talking to others is a huge first step so well done for that

Thankyou. They’re 8 and 11. Oldest has ADHD and I’m getting messages from school about behaviour there. Not doing work-nothing violent or anything. They’re lovely kids, but my god they test my patience.
You know the feeling when you want to go home… well I feel like that even when I am at home.
food banks scare me. I know that sounds ridiculous! Like I’ll be judged for going there

My DS 10 has ADHD as well and I totally sympathise with messages from school. In fact I'm going in this pm.

Have they put any things in place for him? Like being able to have brain breaks (5 mins to run around outside, or play with something etc) though I guess that works better if he's still in primary.

Please don't be embarrassed about food banks. Your the exact type of reason they exist, to give help and support to those who are struggling. Give it a try, please, it might be anxiety inducing but I know you'll feel so glad you went when you come out after being treated with kindness and have food for you and the kids.

Thankyou for all your replies. I’ve contacted the local food bank and I’m heading up there now xx

I feel embarrassed. I don’t know what to expect when I get there

Do not be embarrassed. They will be glad to help you and your family. They're there for all of us when we need them. Make use of it for as long as you need to.

Hope life gets better for you very soon.

Don't be embarrassed, you will be a client accessing a service, that is there for whoever needs it. There will be no judgement. They may be able to signpoint you to there services.

Excellent news. Well done on making that step.

Great that you get to use the food bank! Going forward, since you don't need it for work, do you absolutely need the car? As in, is there no way of getting the kids to school without it? You could save hundreds a month without it.

Have you looked into making a claim for DLA for your oldest child. If you were awarded it would also give an increase on your universal credit.

I work in a foodbank, please don't be embarrassed. I aim to make people feel better when they go out than when they come in. Hope they have helped you.

They were all so lovely. I’m astonished at the amount they gave me, so I’m very glad I took the car! What a wonderful service.

Glad they helped you, yes, you would definitely need a car!

Oh well done! That was very very well done. A hard step, you took it.

So glad you've got food, you and your kids deserve everything they handed over. It's awful that people need this help but it's so good that people want to give it. Take it gladly and happily. No shame in it.

Good luck to you and your girls.