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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to not like to see originally male names like Ashley, Leslie, Kelly, Taylor etc on boys anymore

26 replies

michellet86 · 07/02/2023 16:42

Technically a lot of unisex names today were traditionally male names BUT now majority are used for girls.

I would be shocked to hear the name Ashley or Casey on a man nowadays no matter how old they were, they sound so very feminine and i'm not just saying that because they are mainly used for girls now they genuinely sound very girly i think it may be the "Y" ending that you see in a lot of common girls names like Emily, Lily, Etc.

Even though they were classed as male names back then i can't believe some of these names were ever used for men and i personally think many boys couldn't pull those names off today.

I guess if varies where you live but I was born in the UK and have lived in the US for 8 years and have been amazed by how many names that are still used for boys in the UK are solid female names over here.

OP posts:
Original poster
michellet86 · 07/02/2023 16:46

Also my sisters name is Stacey which was originally a male name also. maybe that's why i picture a lot of these names in such a feminine way🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
GettingStuffed · 07/02/2023 16:48

Lesley used to be used for a girl and Leslie for a man, Frances for a girl Francis for a bit etc. Some names are unisex, I remember when a girl started at my kids school named Robyn, it was the first time we'd ever heard this for a girl.

One I find weird though is Sidney for a girl . That's a boys name.

SavoirFlair · 07/02/2023 16:49

I don’t think there’s any issue with men having the names you said.

i do inwardly judge smile when I hear the plethora of

Oliver
Henry
Noah
Leo

etc..

It’s like you can immediately identify the “naice”, Waitrose coffee carrying, Joules gilet wearing project managers, as soon as you hear the names spoken.

Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov · 07/02/2023 16:53

It's not the y sound. It's societal expectations of gender roles.

Harry
Henry
Danny
Jamie
Teddy
Ollie
Louis

All these are "y" sounding names and I imagine you would find them fine. It's that unisex names are not considered appropriate in society for boys once a certain about of girls have the name. I'm not sure what the % is.

Dartmoorcheffy · 07/02/2023 16:56

I like casey and would usually assume it is a boy. Same for Taylor. I know a few male Kellys as well.

5foot5 · 07/02/2023 17:02

Esme. There is another to add to your list. Used as both but very rare for men now I think.

aSofaNearYou · 07/02/2023 17:08

I agree that I associate most of those names more with girls than boys these days - except for Ashley.

That's very much a unisex name imo, I know just as many male Ashley's as female. Often go by "Ash".

Coyoacan · 07/02/2023 17:11

Those are all surnames and traditionally, especially in the US, boys were given a family surname as a first name.

SophiaLarsen · 07/02/2023 17:12

Hilary is another I've only seen in women (except Dr Hillary)

DashboardConfessional · 07/02/2023 17:13

Honestly the first "Ashley" I think of is Ashley Cole (footballer), former husband of Cheryl.

I do remember being very confused reading an Enid Blyton book featuring a male "Kim" though, and I'm fairly sure later reprints called him Kit.

I gave my son what I thought was a common boy name and we rarely encounter any others!

TiredMum86 · 07/02/2023 17:18

Vivian and Meredith are the same although not that common for girls now either

Blossomtoes · 07/02/2023 17:18

5foot5 · 07/02/2023 17:02

Esme. There is another to add to your list. Used as both but very rare for men now I think.

And Evelyn, Joselyn, Vivian.

OoooohMatron · 07/02/2023 17:20

SavoirFlair · 07/02/2023 16:49

I don’t think there’s any issue with men having the names you said.

i do inwardly judge smile when I hear the plethora of

Oliver
Henry
Noah
Leo

etc..

It’s like you can immediately identify the “naice”, Waitrose coffee carrying, Joules gilet wearing project managers, as soon as you hear the names spoken.

Those names you've given are the most normal names around. They certainly don't scream Waitrose coffee!

TiredMum86 · 07/02/2023 17:21

When Star Trek Discovery first came out I thought hey a woman named Michael? I guess because it's in the future they are assuming that trend of girls taking boys names will continue, that's a nice cultural detail - but no, all the other characters were like oh hey you have a boys name how cool are you I guess your dad wanted a boy haha

So just the same old trope

maddy68 · 07/02/2023 17:21

Life and fashion evolves doesn't it?

IsadoraQuagmire · 07/02/2023 17:35

I prefer all those names as boy's names. And Sydney for a girl isn't modern, I always think of Sydney in A Bill of Divorcement which was written in 1921 and made into a film in about 1934 (Katherine Hepburn played Sydney) Actually, in that play, the father's name is Hilary.

DaveSpud · 07/02/2023 17:37

aSofaNearYou · 07/02/2023 17:08

I agree that I associate most of those names more with girls than boys these days - except for Ashley.

That's very much a unisex name imo, I know just as many male Ashley's as female. Often go by "Ash".

Loads of Ashleys in Scotland and I've literally never known a male one. Maybe depends where you're from.

Lovelyring · 14/03/2023 14:40

I think of Ashley as male due to Ashley Cole and Gone with the Wind.

Casey I find fine on boys, I wouldn't know if a child Casey was male or female.

I love Hilary on a boy. Not really common here for either sex.

Kim makes me think of Rudyard Kipling's Kim so I wouldn't be surprised if he was male but admittedly would default to female. As with Kelsey.

Leslie and Francis depend completely on the spelling as to whether I'd expect boy or girl. I don't know any child Leslie or Lesleys. I only know child Francises, not Frances.

I hate girls being called typically boys names. Leave some for the boys! There are already more good girls names!

Lcb123 · 14/03/2023 14:41

Things change! All names are made up at the end of the day, and socially constructed to be associated with a particular gender

Lovelyring · 14/03/2023 14:46

I've only met one child Taylor and it's a boy. I still see it as more masculine tbh.

KimberleyClark · 14/03/2023 15:27

SophiaLarsen · 07/02/2023 17:12

Hilary is another I've only seen in women (except Dr Hillary)

St Hilary was a man. See also Hilary Benn.

UdoU · 14/03/2023 15:33

I like how a pp put it on a similar thread - when 'male' names become popular for girls, those names are lose popularity with boys but when 'female' names become popular for boys, they don't lose their popularity. Subtle sexism to women.

villamariavintrapp · 14/03/2023 19:40

Do 'female' names ever become popular with boys @UdoU ? I'm not sure I can think of any examples

NumberTheory · 14/03/2023 19:59

Yes, YABU. It's such a shame to see this devaluing of women and girls on one of the few female dominated internet forums.

Even if they were names that were intrinsically more feminine (they aren't), what is it about the values you associate with being feminine that you think would be so awful for boys to aspire to?

drpet49 · 14/03/2023 20:00

All the Ashleys I know are male.