To go on holiday without dh as he never organises anything

9 replies

purplephone · 07/02/2023 13:36

I think that if I left things to my dh we would never leave the house again.
I've told him numerous times I'm sick of being the only parent sorting holidays and days out. I literally have to nag him to book annual leave off as well.
I'm so tired of it. We often book last minute because he won't even book annual leave off during the school holidays and he then 'has to check with work' this can go on for weeks.

Today I said enough is enough I am booking a holiday for me and dc because the price I found three weeks ago for all of us is now the same for just me and the dc and this happens every year and we end up spending a fortune on going anywhere. He's now said oh don't worry look it's 'only' £800 more for me to go. We do not have the extra £800 and it's made me pretty angry he's acting like this.

I'm so sick of organising my dh holiday. He does work ft and me pt in case people think that means I should be sorting it all out.
Angry today!!!

OP posts:

IslandLife88 · 07/02/2023 19:06

Book it and go.

StillWantingADog · 07/02/2023 19:14

My dh is exactly the same. I now send holiday dates to his diary nearly a year in advance and tell him he needs to sort something or I’ll take the kids by myself. Tbf he has actually then booked the leave

but yeah he never does any help/research and it’s all down to me “but you enjoy it” he says. I don’t at all (I mean I usually enjoy a hol but hate the umming and ahing of where to go)

but like you if it was down to him we’d never leave the house. Same goes for any kind of day out or cinema trip or even takeaway. Makes no “fun” plan, literally ever 😡. Possibly partly my fault because over the years I’ve always planned stuff and he mostly goes along with it.

cheeseismydownfall · 07/02/2023 19:25

I plan and book all our family holidays because, quite simply, I am much better at it. I do wonder if we would ever go anywhere if I didn't.

But - and its a big but - DH is enthusiastic about pretty much anything I suggest, and sorts out time off etc promptly once I'm ready to hit go.

It's the fact you are doing all the leg work in making plans AND then having to nag him just to do the one bloody thing he has to do (book leave) that would boil my piss.

moggerhanger · 07/02/2023 19:27

Same for me. I now force him to verify the annual leave while I stand over him, and then I tell him where we're going. It drives me nuts but I know he never really had holidays or days out as a kid, so just isn't in the zone of thinking about it.

StillWantingADog · 07/02/2023 20:16

moggerhanger · 07/02/2023 19:27

you make a good point.

my dh never went anywhere as a child. Whereas I was constantly planning stuff with my df.

i kind of get it with holidays but find it very sad and worrying that my dh is unable to plan any fun activity at all.
talking to friends though I don’t think it’s unusual. Very odd.

Original poster

purplephone · 08/02/2023 11:06

Good to know I'm not alone. I am yet to stand over him while he books annual leave.
I still haven't had the guts to book it though. I feel bad but I know it's going to cost us. Im happy to travel alone if it's the difference between going. Im going to give him an ultimatum to sort it by the end of this week but it hurts as I actually think he'll just not bother.

OP posts:

Rookie93 · 18/03/2023 21:57

This thread struck a real nerve with me this evening. My OH has never organised an outing or trip for us in the 9 yrs we've been together. He can however get himself organised for work and for trips to follow his favourite team abroad. But if I ask him what would he like to do or where would he like to go - nothing. He was organising a meal out for my birthday last year, we've still to go anywhere to celebrate that, nearly 5 mths later. Yet I've taken him away several times for his birthday & would always take him for a meal somewhere he'd enjoy. Am just sick of doing this kind of thing for us to enjoy something different. He obviously doesn't value that level of thought at all and doesn't care to try to please me either.

Bs0u416d · 18/03/2023 22:55

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BashfulClam · 18/03/2023 23:01

My husband books all our holidays because he’s better at it. We are flying to the USA next month and I got overwhelmed trying to plan everything out whereas he had it sorted within 30minutes. We always book the same time off though.

I’d go with dc and leave him to sort himself out.

Flip