To think my friend was behaving irrationally

[bellylaughsalldaylong]

About two months ago I had a conversation with my friend and she mentioned buying trail running shoes. I have no idea what these are but nodded and agreed that they sounded like something she’d need. Unfortunately she said she was skint so couldn’t afford them. I again said that was a shame but she could maybe get them in the near future.

anyway, fast forward to today. I was wearing a new pair of trainers I’d bought last week. Salomons in case anyone is interested. Turned up to the school run and my friend immediately looked at the trainers and was not impressed. She said I’d rubbed her face in it because she couldn’t afford these trail running shoes.

I tried to explain to her that I have no idea what trail running shoes are and that I’d just bought a pair of shoes based on what would last for ages and see me through countless walks to to school with the kids.

she stormed off! I feel terrible and bewildered but also a bit pissed off.

I think I agree with this.

Have you got an old pair of trail blazers you can throw her way?

It does seem iffy that you would buy those particular shoes, not knowing their specifics. They are not your run of the mill for escorting kids to school. But of course, you are free to do as you wish.

I think you're both slightly bonkers..

Yanbu she is bananas

You can buy any shoes you like so YANBU. But I just looked at those shoes (I never heard of Salomons and also don't know what a trail running shoe is) and I must say they don't look like shoes for general walks, or anything you would put on for the school run. Maybe that is what she meant? Like if you turned up in fencing gear or a scuba suit - a bit conspicuous?

Ridiculous behaviour. You can’t expect people to curb their expenditure in order not to trigger your sensitivities.

I have friends who live in million pound homes and others on benefits. There will always be people who are more affluent than you are.

It would be one thing if you had made a point of calling and saying “ooh I am buying those shoes you like!”

But she can’t expect you to exclude things from your life that you want purely because it makes her envious.

The OP's friend is being ridiculous, but then there seems to be a tendency, at least as exhibited on a number of MN threads, where people are "sensitive" or "triggered" by shit they don't like in their lives. Frequently they are trivial but even the ones with a serious basis so often live wearing a skin too few.

It has worsened over the last three/four years.

Furthermore, some responders to such threads support the invariably imagined convoluted reasons for such sensibilities.

I wear trail running shoes as an everyday school run shoe (On Cloudventure) and they are so comfortable. I must admit I bought them as like you OP I had seen someone on social media wearing them, not for their technical points. I think your friend is completely bonkers but there must be some kind of backstory between you if that was her reaction - is she very jealous of you in general and to her this was the final straw where she lost control?

OP says she bought her pair for £90.
I also googled (after all this talk of how wonderful they are, I began to wonder if I should get myself a pair - but then I remembered that I am also skint!!) and very quickly found a pair reduced to £90 in a very well known shop.
I did not find any mention of them being ‘trail runners’.

I can see why she might think that too, especially having had a look online and the soles look quite different to runners, more like indoor soccer shoes. I think she was over the top too, but there might be some reason this specifically effected her, or something in the relationship to cause this reaction or maybe she's just dramatic.

Who has the time or energy to notice a mum's new trainers on the school run? I was busy frisking one for contraband and stopping the other from trying to shape shift and squeeze their head through the railings, whilst dodging the class rep trying to flog me tickets to an event I didn't want to attend.

stopping the other from trying to shape shift and squeeze their head through the railings,

Dare I ask why a mum was doing this, or is it better I don't know?

If people who can afford to buy things, stop, the economy will be fucked for longer,

@Eyeroll85 It literally says on your screenshot "...on the trail" towards the end of the description!! 🤣

People wear these on the school run where I live, and they’re definitely not people who trail run.

They wear the chunky ones with Adanola tracksuits and pulled up socks.

Even if you did know that those are the ones your friend wanted, doesn’t mean you can’t buy them anyway. That’s just not how the world works. As PP has said, the economy will be even more fucked if the people who can afford to still spend, stop spending.

OP she's a friend of yours, so you must know if this is typical behaviour of hers. Is she normally a bit jealous or a bit huffy? Does she often overreact?

If she's having financial problems and as a result can't do the sport she enjoys or really wants to do - one that really only relies on shoes - she could be doubly suffering there. Feeling very frustrated. Then up you pop with that type of shoe for the school run. As she really wants to do it and spoke to you about it, it wouldn't occur to her that you didn't know what those shoes are.

You appear to be in a less financially stressed situation. If she's not normally like this then I'd give her the benefit of the doubt. Tell her you've now looked online and seen they were trail running shoes. As a non-runner you had no idea, you just saw them recommended as comfy shoes and found them discounted. Send her the link.

I don't think she was being reasonable. Which is why if she's not normally like that, I think it's fair to reach out, as you're friends. I'm definitely not saying you should apologise or anything like that. And if this is par for the course with her, I'd be stepping back. But if she's actually a friend who this is strange behaviour for, I wouldn't drop her over it or humiliate her for it.

I do suspect this might be the way it really happened

I am fairly into exercise and have never heard of trail running shoes! I googled them and they looked like totally normal trainers to me? If someone mentioned trail running shoes to me I’d genuinely have no idea of what they meant.

Sorry, posted too soon. So I find it very easy to believe that OP didn’t know what trail running shoes are. It’s a bit pathetic of the friend.

Even if you did know what they are, it’s not like you’re never allowed to own anything that your friend wants?

I mean, my friend drives a brand new Lexus. I’d like one of those but I can’t afford one. Doesn’t mean I’m angry at him for buying one 😂

Well I never knew Solomon was a famous trail running brand, my ski boots and gloves are Salomon, I just thought they did outdoor stuff.

Even ignoring the money side - she's told you something that she really wants and you've basically bought the same thing first- without even caring about it- would make her feel really small i think
Also I thought trail running shoes were designed to be worn off rad and were a balance between being robust and light- so not necessarily ideal for a school run

@Notcreativeatall yes but she didn't need to have toddler tantrum and storm off!! Is she 5??

Only one side of the argument being posted here. What if this is just a single example of the OP doing this over and over again. If she has actually been such a CF as to buy the shoes her friend wanted but couldnt afford just to rub her nose in it......what else does she copy. As i said in an earlier post, there are loads of CF with too much money these days who take pleasure in spending their money on stuff they dont need and this is just the kind of thing they would do.

I wish she had mentioned a nice pair of classic Walsh's. I can just imagine the OP turning up in a pair of those :-)