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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to tell an Etsy seller their grammar/ punctuation is incorrect?

217 replies

Lolabear38 · 07/02/2023 05:17

Looking at signs on Etsy earlier and one I noticed said ‘Dog’s welcome’. Obviously dogs doesn’t need an apostrophe here - looking at other items in their shop I also noticed things like ‘mum’s are magic’ and some others. I messaged the seller about something I wanted to buy but mentioned the incorrect use of the apostrophe - in a polite, what I considered to be constructive way - and got a very arsey reply!

Apparently they have ‘hundreds of very satisfied customers’ (and actually they have had hundreds of sales according to their Etsy stats) and nobody has ever complained before, therefore it must be me who has the problem and I should probably look at other shops if I’m going to be ‘a perfectionist about it’.

AIBU to have pointed this out? I genuinely don't spend my days seeking out grammatical errors to correct but why are people blasted for trying to help like this? I'm not claiming my own grammar or language is perfect, but neither am I selling signs with mistakes on them. It seems like anytime someone does point out mistakes they're labelled 'grammar police' and demonised.

YABU - you should have let them carry on using apostrophes incorrectly and looked at another shop instead.

YANBU - you were trying to help 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
PumpkinPastiez · 07/02/2023 05:21

Yanbu. Basic grammar is a must if you're making signs surely!!

WastenotWantall · 07/02/2023 05:23

I sell signs on Etsy and on my website, I wouldn’t mind someone correcting me. Sometimes when someone does, I know how to spell it properly or use grammar correctly, it’s just words mesh together after a while and it’s easy to miss. I once spelled friend ‘freind’ and sent it to a customer! Haha, I wasn’t sure if I felt more sorry for myself getting it wrong, or more sorry for them having to contact me about it.

OrangePurple · 07/02/2023 05:26

They have hundred's of satisfied customer's who's as thick as she's is. Innit.
YANBU
Let them sell their wrongly marked Tat

.

Toomanywaterwipes · 07/02/2023 05:29

I would normally think you were being unreasonable to point it out, but in the case of someone selling signs, it's different.
I'd leave a review warning people about the issue too.

Original poster
Lolabear38 · 07/02/2023 05:37

Toomanywaterwipes · 07/02/2023 05:29

I would normally think you were being unreasonable to point it out, but in the case of someone selling signs, it's different.
I'd leave a review warning people about the issue too.

Out of interest @Toomanywaterwipes , why would you think I was unreasonable for pointing out a mistake (if they weren’t selling signs)? I’m genuinely curious as if I was doing something wrong I’d prefer to know, so that I didn’t do it next time!

OP posts:
Toomanywaterwipes · 07/02/2023 05:50

Sorry, I should have been clearer. Personally, I think it would be ok to point it out in some situations - if the error could possibly affect their business (signs in a shop or school maybe) or if it were otherwise helpful to do so. I'd also hold professional writers to a higher standard, so might complain to a newspaper about an error, for example.

In orher situations (eg correcting posts on MN) it would be needless and a bit rude I think.

liveforsummer · 07/02/2023 06:02

I agree in something like a mumsnet post it's usually irrelevant and doesn't need pointed out. People know what the post means. Signs for sale yanbu

ThomasinaLivesHere · 07/02/2023 06:07

I’d prefer to know but there are so many people who wouldn’t. Also, I can see someone being defensive if corrected in front of others as it’s embarrassing but in an email it’s not.

donttellmehesalive · 07/02/2023 06:12

YANBU op. She's wilfully ignorant and you are not wrong just because her customers are equally poor at punctuation. Check her site in a couple of weeks and see if anything has changed - she might just be embarrassed, defensive and shooting the messenger.

Somanysocks · 07/02/2023 06:20

Yanbu Op. There is a Post Office near me with signwriting on the wall. It apparently sells stationary and the street name has a spelling mistake.

It has been there too long for me to point out now.

ChimChimeny · 07/02/2023 06:25

We bought one of the covid Christmas decorations when everyone else did, the apostrophe was in the wrong place so i complained and was sent a replacement. The seller was very apologetic, no idea if she changed them for future orders though.

Saw loads of photos on Facebook that year of other people's with apostrophes in the wrong place so my seller wasn't the only one!

Presumably loads.of people didn't know they were wrong same as the satisfied customers of this seller

monitor1 · 07/02/2023 06:26

you surely wouldn't buy a sign from someone who doesn't understand basic grammar, so I'd have just moved on

plumduck · 07/02/2023 06:28

If you were going to buy something then fine.

If not then just keep moving.

donttellmehesalive · 07/02/2023 06:32

plumduck · 07/02/2023 06:28

If you were going to buy something then fine.

If not then just keep moving.

I expect op thought she was being helpful. Imagine how much business they lose from people who know how to use an apostrophe. I can't imagine not wanting to know tbh.

plumduck · 07/02/2023 06:36

donttellmehesalive · 07/02/2023 06:32

I expect op thought she was being helpful. Imagine how much business they lose from people who know how to use an apostrophe. I can't imagine not wanting to know tbh.

Show quote history

Yeah I know. But some people are just funny about being told they are wrong so it's not worth having that sort of angry person respond. I bet new designs replace these ones as they are sold with the apostrophe moved!

plumduck · 07/02/2023 06:36

And to be honest if they are that sort of person they don't deserve any more business.

Anyway it was a toughie OP don't sweat it too much. Some people are just very angry people.

TigerTea1 · 07/02/2023 06:44

Issues like this are often disability released. Posts like these always highlight the significant lack of emotional intelligence that exists within the mumsnet community. As others have said, if you weren’t happy with her work, rather than being the random stranger who felt the need to contact them to act superior, you could have just moved on. You acted poorly.

GramCracker · 07/02/2023 06:48

You did nothing wrong, grammar exists on a nerve.

Some people are really touchy about being corrected even if it's for their benefit. I think it must have something to do with when we go through primary ed and how some kids are supported (or not) if they are slower learners.

I remember feeling like a real dunce in primary with regard to mental arithmetic and grammar. There always seemed to be rules I didn't know but everyone else did. I was scared and making mistakes made me look foolish.

Of course we grow and continue learning throughout life and we can learn basic systemic rules (or not in the case of your sign writer) but those early feelings of nerves echo on.

TL:DR folk are touchy about grammar - it puts them right back in kindergarten.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 07/02/2023 06:57

TigerTea1 · 07/02/2023 06:44

Issues like this are often disability released. Posts like these always highlight the significant lack of emotional intelligence that exists within the mumsnet community. As others have said, if you weren’t happy with her work, rather than being the random stranger who felt the need to contact them to act superior, you could have just moved on. You acted poorly.

I don't agree. If you mean the seller may be dyslexic, surely she must in that case know spelling is an issue for her, so she should get someone to check her signs. She will be losing business from people who know how to spell and punctuate. The fact that she reacted rudely to a potential customer indicates the seller is the one with poor emotional intelligence.

DarkNurseries · 07/02/2023 06:57

TigerTea1 · 07/02/2023 06:44

Issues like this are often disability released. Posts like these always highlight the significant lack of emotional intelligence that exists within the mumsnet community. As others have said, if you weren’t happy with her work, rather than being the random stranger who felt the need to contact them to act superior, you could have just moved on. You acted poorly.

Ridiculous post. There is no evidence the seller had a disability. The OP messaged about an item she was considering buying and mentioned the incorrect apostrophes on a number of the seller’s items for sale, and got an arsy response which presumably now means the seller lost a sale. As well as losing all the other potential sales she could have made if her signs didn’t contain basic errors. I mean, good luck with a business based on selling items that display your own poor literacy and that of your ‘non-perfectionist’ customers.

Lyla82 · 07/02/2023 06:58

I don't think you're unreasonable at all, I don't understand why she wouldn't want to know she had made a mistake. Her other customers clearly have poor grammar too.

There is a Florist near me that has the word 'Lilies' in their business name, but they've spelt it 'lilly's' and it bugs the hell out of me every time I see it. I always contemplate mentioning it! How many mistakes can you make in one short word?! 🙈

follyfoot37 · 07/02/2023 07:06

Sadly, so many people today have no idea about grammar, spelling or punctuation, so probably didn't notice they were spelled incorrectly, hence her inability to understand what the issue is!
Sadly, trying one's best to maintain such standards, especially here (as opposed to pedants corner), will lead to vitriolic posts telling you that SPaG is irrelevant

liveforsummer · 07/02/2023 07:07

Lyla82 · 07/02/2023 06:58

I don't think you're unreasonable at all, I don't understand why she wouldn't want to know she had made a mistake. Her other customers clearly have poor grammar too.

There is a Florist near me that has the word 'Lilies' in their business name, but they've spelt it 'lilly's' and it bugs the hell out of me every time I see it. I always contemplate mentioning it! How many mistakes can you make in one short word?! 🙈

Perhaps her name is Lily?

saraclara · 07/02/2023 07:29

If you wanted to buy one of the signs that were displayed as having an incorrect apostrophe, then of course you should have pointed it out.

"I'd love one of your 'dogs are welcome' signs, but the one in the photo on your page has an error on it. Could you make sure that mine doesn't have an apostrophe on it please?" is absolutely fine.

If I didn't intend buying one, I'd leave her to it. It's not up to me, a random stranger, to put her right.

LanaCara · 07/02/2023 07:32

I woukdnt have bothered telling them, their business not mine. Even if I'd have wanted to buy something I'd have said can my order please be made without the apostrophe. Simples.