I am sobbing since I woke.
Life is tough.
My husband left me for affair partner a few years ago out of the blue and we have three kids.
Two of whom have sn , coupled with bad anxiety.
The kids are afraid of their dads temper now so they refuse to go with him anymore.
The eldest has no relationship with him.
They used to go eow up until Christmas but no more.
I had a relationship with a huge manbaby that o finished in November.
He is a pest and I've only just managed to block him on everything .
I've realised that all through my
Life , I've allowed myself to be used.
Used by my husband and treated like a slave. Used by my ex bf for care and somewhere to go in weekends and used by my eldest for everything from money to time.
My daughter has not one ounce of respect for me. She is a taker and lacks any gratitude. She is lazy and disinterested in anyone but herself. She is 18.
I ask little if her. I've compensated far too much as I know how deeply traumatised she has been since her dad left.
I love her so much but this morning I lost my shit .
I asked her to do something techy that I could t do. Nothing major .
She told me to piss off as she was tired and would do it another time.
I absolutely lost it.
I felt rage like never before . I said awful things but exactly as I felt.
She then turned it in me and called
Me toxic.
I'm just crying all day long.
I hate my life.
I have no time to do anything g for myself. Literally in the bathroom as we speak and the two kids are outside the door wondering what I'm doing .
I've no family or friend help. Everyone has their own thing going on .
I would
Just love to fall asleep and never wake up but of course I would never do that as I'm all my kids have .
Am I depressed or just having a really awful day?
I work full time and it's my only sanity . I love it.