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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be utterly depressed or just a bad period of time

6 replies

garfieldspjs · 06/02/2023 15:10

I am sobbing since I woke.
Life is tough.
My husband left me for affair partner a few years ago out of the blue and we have three kids.
Two of whom have sn , coupled with bad anxiety.
The kids are afraid of their dads temper now so they refuse to go with him anymore.
The eldest has no relationship with him.
They used to go eow up until Christmas but no more.
I had a relationship with a huge manbaby that o finished in November.
He is a pest and I've only just managed to block him on everything .

I've realised that all through my
Life , I've allowed myself to be used.
Used by my husband and treated like a slave. Used by my ex bf for care and somewhere to go in weekends and used by my eldest for everything from money to time.
My daughter has not one ounce of respect for me. She is a taker and lacks any gratitude. She is lazy and disinterested in anyone but herself. She is 18.
I ask little if her. I've compensated far too much as I know how deeply traumatised she has been since her dad left.

I love her so much but this morning I lost my shit .
I asked her to do something techy that I could t do. Nothing major .
She told me to piss off as she was tired and would do it another time.
I absolutely lost it.
I felt rage like never before . I said awful things but exactly as I felt.
She then turned it in me and called
Me toxic.

I'm just crying all day long.
I hate my life.
I have no time to do anything g for myself. Literally in the bathroom as we speak and the two kids are outside the door wondering what I'm doing .
I've no family or friend help. Everyone has their own thing going on .
I would
Just love to fall asleep and never wake up but of course I would never do that as I'm all my kids have .
Am I depressed or just having a really awful day?
I work full time and it's my only sanity . I love it.

OP posts:
garfieldspjs · 06/02/2023 15:48

Anyone around with any thoughts on this please ? I feel like I'm going mad.

OP posts:
Humanswarm · 06/02/2023 15:51

How old are your other two dcs? What are their Sen issues? Can you take a little time for yourself? Even a long bath?

garfieldspjs · 06/02/2023 15:53

Thanks they are 15/13 and have autism and severe anxiety . I'm not being smart but I literally cannot go to the toilet without being followed.
Sleep is my only escape from the intensity of it all.

OP posts:
Humanswarm · 06/02/2023 16:35

Ah OP that must be so tough. Is your 18 year old able to help? Even by providing a few minutes respite for you to take a bath, or just sit calmly in your room? I know she's being very difficult, please don't feel bad for lashing out..but, if you feel you could, she's old enough for you to be able to explain how tough you are finding things, maybe not in full detail but, let her know, ask for some help?

garfieldspjs · 06/02/2023 16:35

Thanks @Humanswarm . She really doesn't care sadly

OP posts:
Cyclebreaker · 06/02/2023 20:58

I'm sorry for what you are going through. You live your work so that's fantastic. Abd your well rid of nasty ex hubby and wet bf. Phew. Things will look brighter soon.

I know money's tight for a lot of people but
Is it ridiculous to suggest hiring help so you can have time without your kids?
Have you thought about therapy/coaching, you sound like you are in recovery from a toxic abusive relationship. This will skew everything. Help from an expert in trauma will help.

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