To ask mums of previously challenging boys for reassurance!

[NamechangedJan2022]

I know Mumsnet doesn’t believe there are any differences between boys and girls, but I disagree, as does everyone I know in RL.

My boys are 7 and 4. They are both very challenging in different ways. Eldest doesn’t have much of a tendency to tantrum but is very argumentative and oppositional, and likes to provoke. Can be a delight and very caring boy (if a friend gets hurt for example) but has always been oppositional since he could speak in full sentences.

Youngest has huge meltdowns when things don’t go his way. He’s also very easy to delight so it goes both ways for him, he’s either very very happy or losing his shit. I thought we were coming out of the tantrums as he reached 4 but he’s going through yet another huge tantrumming phase, feet stamping, hitting, jumping up and down in anger.

Does it get better? Please say it does?!

@pinkhousesarebest My just 4 year old will be at school full time in September, is in nursery half days now. He seems to love it. But the walk (scoot) there is often hellish! DH says to drive them but DS1 does much better to have the exercise before school, and to be fair it's less than a mile and you can't park that closely anyway.

op i have a similar issue with my 7 year old. Im hoping they will grow out of it. I was told by a relative to just ignore the bad behaviour or the constant back chat and just praise good behaviour. Cant lie it hard when you are in the thick of it.

I recommend a book called the explosive child, by Dr Ross Greene, really helpful in supporting children who struggle to manage their emotions. I have an older son who has come out the other side a really well adjusted kid, hang in there.

Sorry it's you too @MadamMaltesers. I find it hard to ignore back chat because I feel as if it's saying that it's ok to speak to me like that.

Thanks @TheEarlofButties I've been meaning to read that for ages as my youngest is the definition of Explosive.

WhenI look back,I so regret that I allowed other people’s judgements to get in the way. I should have listened more to him. If I had to do it again, I would have had so much more confidence in my own parenting . There’s no free ride in parenting though - angelic small dd was a pita teen whilst ds was so easy.
Hang in there.

My beloved godson got off to a shaky start; narrowly avoided the premature baby unit, and became a sensitive, easily upset baby, then a really tricky toddler, His mother admits that she postponed DS2 until DS1 was calming down a little, and would probably have had a third baby if she could have managed it. Luckily, DS2 was placid and easy-going.
She is a really calm, loving person, and (with some difficulty) kept her cool; they eventually came through the worst of it by junior school age but she confided in me that she was dreading the teenage years, on previous showing.
To her great relief, he sailed through adolescence with very little grief, and she could only guess that he had used up his reserves of stroppiness at the toddler stage.

YABVU

I am a mum of 5 and have both girls and boys. Boys aren't inherently different or harder than girls. Makes me laugh all this "boy mum" and "girl mum" nonsense. Absolutely rubbish. Everyone I know in real life who has both agrees. I think you just want an excuse to why your son in handwork. HTH it isn't because he has a penis!!!