To not know if I should stay or go?

[Cutesbabasmummy]

AIBU to be totally stuck? I've worked in my current workplace for 9.5 years. The last 1.5 in a different more senior role which I have loved. At the end of November I was suspended from work on full pay and remain suspended. I was accused of gross misconduct for leaving the door to the building unlocked whilst going to see another colleague in a different building. To cut a long story short I had my disciplinary hearing last Friday with an external HR lady who is recommending a first written warning. I work in local government so councillors make the final decision.

Before my disciplinary, I raised a grievance against the overall manager. I am the union rep at work which I know she is not happy about.

The grievance was not upheld although the council passed 9 recommendations as a result of it, including giving the manager a p.i.p. I'm appealing the outcome as the whole investigation was biased. Another colleague left at the same time as me (all on cctv) and stood outside the door for 3 minutes after I'd left and didn't lock the door either. No action has been taken against her. I've also pointed out that I'm the only member of staff with no laptop, I had to wait 6 months for a work mobile although I'm often out on site, no safety shoes etc.

In the meanwhile I went off and found another job. This in the private sector in software, brand new role in project management (which is my current job).

Here's the crunch! New job is due to start on 20th. They offered me £2k more than they advertised the job at but it's still £4k less than my current job. Holiday is 26 days whereas current job is 29. I'd be working an extra hour too. I have no idea if I'd like the new job.

Because I thought I was going to be dismissed I was mentally prepared to leave and see if my union rep could secure a settlement ( they have settled in the past). Now it's likely to be a first written warning I'm in two minds as to whether to go, hope for some sort of settlement and hope I can get career progression or stay at a job I'm good at, enjoy, with more holiday, higher salary and the local government pension which is very good.

The overall boss is not nice - she bullies people, makes racist comments etc and has a habit of getting rid of those she takes against. After the stuff I threw up in my grievance she must have a voodoo doll of me! If I stay my grievance appeal will be heard and after hearing my disciplinary on Friday, the HR lady - who also heard my grievance - said that she wished it had been the other way around as she now had a much clearer picture of everything. She was left wondering why the other colleague had not been disciplined too. I think there will be things to come out at the end that may impact on the overall boss.

So I'm stuck between staying- brazening it out and being perfect for the 6 months the warning would be on file for whilst working not directly for a very unpleasant human who now knows just what I think of her , or going and taking a big pay cut.

I'm married but am the higher earner - we both earn under £30k, have a tracker mortgage and an 8 year old son. I need to be local for my son and the new job is 2 minutes away from my current job. I'd be unlikely to find anything else that close to home.

Thanks for reading- hope you have managed a cuppa!

If you have an unpleasant boss - bullying, racist - I would leave and go to your new job. She is not going to change and this will be an ongoing stress for you. Go for an easier life.

I've worked somewhere where the management needed sacrificial victims like this. I'd take the new job tbh. Life's too short to have to deal with nonsense

I couldn’t stay working for a racist unpleasant boss in a job that treats me unfairly. I’d take the new job. What’s the point of an extra 3 days of holidays when all your working days are crap? I’d rather have 3 days less and take a shot at being happy at work.

I can deal with less holiday - it's the £4k drop per year that worries me.

Is there room for promotion or salary increase in the new job? Can you do anything to manage the drop? Grand scheme 4K a year doesn't have to be catastrophic if you are financially ok and able to budget.

Honestly I'd leave current place, it sounds like even if you go back they'll find another reason to get rid of you. It's unfair but sadly this kind of thing happens and when the culprit is smart they are rarely held accountable. And the impact of an unpleasant, hostile workplace is worse, IME, than a slightly lower salary.

I left a job because my manager was a bully and discriminated against me but everything was verbal, she was clever enough not to leave an email or message trail so there was little to nothing I could do but I knew I couldn't carry on in that environment.

The external HR person quite rightly concerned about what has happened and that there are a number of things that don’t add up, like the other employee not being disciplined. As you have appealed the grievance HR are likely to ensure the appeal officer has the full facts from both disciplinary and grievance hearings.

I think the disciplinary was probably fair if you know you should have locked the door. I would expect HR to instigate disciplinary action against the other employee.

Personally I would try and stick it out and not take the other job. Financially and career wise staying is the much better option. In the public sector you can move on from a warning, particularly when other colleagues are probably thinking “phew must remember to lock that door in future”.

The fact the manager has been given a PIP says a lot, and I suspect your appeal may see your grievance upheld.

I know it’s tough but if you can stick it out stay in your current job. Just remember you managed to get another job so in 6 months time if it isn’t working you can get another one.