What do I do about my now (ex) friend?

[reindeesandchristmastrees]

I am concerned about my friend and this is an AIBU reasonable topic despite the fact that I know I haven't been.
I'm concerned that the facts of the situation will probably oust me so I have changed some of them to try not to too much
My friend and I met when our eldest children were babies. I like her very much but have never liked her husband - I think he is controlling. Friend has been through some financial worries and I have helped out by a couple of times letting her holiday in our apartment during non peak holiday just paying for the cleaning. This half term she "reminded" me about the apartment and she also asked if there was another apartment for other people in the party and I found her one very close I knew that this was for her son and friends to do their sport and she was not going. Other apartment were going to charge a certain amount and I told her that it would be charging £100 less - this caused the first awkwardness as I suspect they were expecting to just pay for cleaning.It then transpired this week that no parents weren't going but 4 under 18's were going to be in my apartment doing a training camp with sporting adults in the neighbouring apartment. I was sort of OK with this but had some trepidation.

Then the adults in the party decided not to rent the neighbouring apartment and I was expected to allow 4 under 18's to rent my apartment with no responsible adults in the complex.
Between us DH and I said no and we had an extremely awkward telephone call - her husband could be heard shouting ("tell them to F@@K OFF then") in the background. Friend called me back and then her husband took over phone call speaking to me and my DH but we stood our ground and said it was just not something we can do. During the phone call he was blaming my friend for not making it clear to us the situation at the start.
Call ended and I received a message from her husband saying I wasn't welcome at their house ever again and that we were "a pair of absolute C@@Ts".
I messaged friend checking that she was ok and saying I'd always be her friend. But since then nothing.
My worry is that her husband is very angry - he has presumably lost face with the other parents that he was organising the training camp for but that doesn't excuse his behaviour. If it were me I would be very embarrassed about H's behaviour but that wouldn't affect my friendship she isn't responsible for behaviour of her H. I just can't now check if she is OK as she hasn't messaged back (4 days)
So this is AIBU to be worried about friend? And what should I do next?

Regardless of the situation with her husband.. they were expecting a freebie, you’ve been nice enough to allow them to holiday for free. I would maybe give her another message to see if she’s ok and if you don’t hear from her then it’s her who’s lost a good friend. I’m sure if it’s down to her husband why she’s not contacted she will eventually, it’s awful when people are in shitty relationships but you can’t physically do anything unless she was to reach out for help. But he sounds awful.

Just be ready to have her side with him. You’ve done nothing wrong, her husband is obviously an angry man.

If it was me I wouldn't do anything. You've put boundaries in place and your friends husband has kicked off. Your friend is now ignoring you. Leave it be and carry on. It won't be the last you hear from them and then you can make the decision to continue contact or not. It sounds like they have been getting a lot more from the friendship than you have so that's why I'm guessing they will be back in touch.

If you see her in person tell her you'll always be there for her. If she ever needs help leaving him then you'll help. Don't put it in a text because if he reads it it might make things worse.

You are probably right to be worried sounds like she will be getting the brunt of his anger re this.

They should have been honest about the lack of adult supervision in the first place.
It's likely she won't be allowed to contact you but be there for her in the future if she gets away from him.

I used to see her sometimes dropping off her child at an activity when I am picking up. This time neither of us got out of the car but don't know whether it was her or her H.
I feel so sad and anxious for her. Just don't know how many friends she has too look out for her

Just leave it, it's not your problem, just be grateful you're not married to him 😊

Naa! Fuck her! It is one thing for her to not stand up to her husband and living with an abuser, which of course one would feel deeply sorry for. But it is quite another story when this nasty wanksock is abusing you instead. If she made no attempt to apologise for her role in putting this on you, I would keep away.

You don't need to do anything. The ball is in her court. That is her husband, she's not likely to choose you over him, so for an easy life she'll probably let the friendship go. Maybe if things change in the future she might get back in touch, but for the moment there isn't any more you can do.

If you lose this friendship over not wanting to give them free access to your apartment for a bunch of teens, then she wasn’t really your friend in the first place.

I honestly don't think you've done anything wrong but don't go getting sucked into their relationship issues. You've already told her you'll always be there, leave it at that. Personally I wouldn't be having any dealings with her bullying husband ever again and sadly she's more than likely to side with him so you will probably lose her too.

100% this ^^

Another vote to avoid.