Sleeping arrangements

[DuploMum]

Posting here for traffic as it seems to get more response!

2 bed house, two DS 3 and 18m. Not sharing yet as cot fits fine in our room.

Want to get them sharing but realistically both still wake in the night at one point.

3rd DC is due in August. I'm wondering whether I put DS1 and DS2 in our bedroom (one cot, one in the bed with DH) and make second bedroom into a bedroom for me and the baby as there is a single bed in there (currently DS1) and I have a Moses basket, could add changing mat and would be potentially much better to avoid waking everyone with night feeds and changes.

Is that crazy?

I think you need to do what works for all of you but I would try getting your DC to share first of all. Although they wake up, they might not disturb each other.

I think it depends. If I were you I'd try putting your 18mo in his brother's room and work on reducing the night wakings. If they're still happening though then the way you've proposed is probably the best way for everyone to get as much sleep as possible with a new baby. We have me and DS in one room and DH and DD in another at the moment. DD still doesn't sleep through reliably and DS isn't weaned yet so he wakes and cries often in the night.

Thank you. To be honest the 3yo is worse for waking up and he comes and finds me, usually I'm in his bed to get him back to sleep, just thinking that is harder when there's a baby too. I know they will be 3.5/2 by the time baby arrives but not sure much will change by then...

that sound horrendous, I would just put the two older ones in a bedroom together and put no3 in with you and dh.

Not as horrendous as all 3 under 4 awake 🫠

Sounds tough! I would get the younger 2 sharing as they’ll get used to noises from each other and become less likely to wake each other up. Plus work on the 3 year olds sleep if you can (and the 18 month year old). As 3 kids waking up in the night won’t be much fun for anyone. Hopefully the other 2 will be sleeping better by then.

I know. Think I just need to be brave and put them both in together 😆

I'm not concerned about either's sleep, both are fairly normal and we don't all get the perfect toddler sleeping through unfortunately 🙃

Thanks x

It wasn’t a criticism more concern! When you have a newborn that’s waking multiple times a night then 2 other children waking at other times then that will be so difficult. Rather than focusing on rooms I’d focus on their sleep. It benefits everyone. Good luck though.

When I had a 1.5yo and a 3yo I put them in together in a double bed and it worked miracles! They cuddled each other back to sleep instead of coming to find me and they chose to continue sleeping together for years.
That said of course you should do whatever works best for you but I thought I'd throw that out there as an option! I couldn't believe how well it worked for us, I really thought they'd keep each other awake but the opposite happened.

I’d put the older two together. I’d want to share with my DH for a start, and my boys often slept well when they shared a room.

My youngest used to get lonely at night but would go and climb in with his brother, which saved me being disturbed. Big brother didn’t mind at all. I’d often find them asleep in a den they’d made from quilts and pillows.

Awww thanks. Sorry I misunderstood. I know you're right - sometimes both sleep totally fine it's more the 3yo gets up to find me and can wake the younger doing so!

Sounds like you got your hands full to we got 3 under 2 but have the rooms for them 🙂

That's lovely 😍 to be honest I find the 3yo easier to sleep with than DH 😅

My hands are perfectly fine thank you. My second room can fit 2 single beds and my our bedroom is big enough for a double, a full sized cot, and plenty of furniture.

But thanks for your concern 🙄

Get your husband helping?

Put both your two older DS on same bedroom
Meh mine still came to find me in the night but they got used to having their own bedroom together - it got less over time

Also amusing - what makes you think my husband isn't helping 🫠

Yeah I'm hoping this could be the case!

Just cause you seemed to be being pulled in lots of directions. You're pregnant and need sleep. Best get the others used to being settled by dad before newbie appears. Easier said than done as my 5 yr old still comes and finds me every night 😬🙄

Both are quite happily settled by Dad. He is very hands on and I'm not pulled in any direction. That isn't my issue. I wouldn't be suggesting he stays in the bedroom with them both if he couldn't settle either. That'd be a disaster 😆 Sending sympathy with the coming to find you bit!!

It's more a case of how do I get all us disturbed the least. I'd quite happily swap him into the single bed with baby and sleep with the other two 😁

Seems like my first go should be to try the shared room and go from there 😎

I’d put DS 1 and 2 together, you might actually find DS1 settles better and comes to you less.

Is the long term plan to move/extend or for all 3 to share? If the latter I would get them sharing sooner rather than later so they get used to it before sharing with DC3 as well.

The move plan is dependent on saving a deposit which is near impossible at the moment even with 2 good jobs. Not stressed at all at the thought of baby in our room for 2 years ish - as I've mentioned it fits a cot in perfectly.

White noise is your friend here. I’ve had 2 under 3 sharing since DD was 1 so DS would have been 26 months ish. They have constant white noise overnight which mostly stops then waking each other up.

Makes sense OP.

In that case I’d definitely move them both in together soon, you and DH won’t want to sleep apart for that long or for your family to play one ongoing game of room swap!