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Original poster

Is it odd to have dead people still on your Facebook friends?

90 replies

GingerNutMe · 05/02/2023 13:22

So I have a couple of friends/family members that have sadly passed away but never taken them off my friendship list on Facebook. Is this normal, is it reasonable?

Whilst family can apply to Facebook for a profile to be closed I get the impression that it is laborious and often doesn't happen. I believe Facebook have a process where you can nominate someone on your behalf to deal with it so assume this is the better way but how many people do?

Just feels wrong for me to 'unfriend' these people but also feels strange to have dead peoples profiles appear.

Thoughts on a postcard ..........................

OP posts:
SavoirFlair · 05/02/2023 13:22

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Sparklingbrook · 05/02/2023 13:24

I don't have FB but if i did I wouldn't remove dead people. They are still friends, isn't it nice to be able to look once in a while for the memories?

Sparklingbrook · 05/02/2023 13:24

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No

Simulacra · 05/02/2023 13:24

My best friend died in 2003. I have no photos (we were teens). Even just a blurry one would do.

Likewise I can imagine it’s a form of torture; scrolling through videos and photos and posts.

SomersetBrie · 05/02/2023 13:24

I have some dead family and friends on Facebook. I look at their profiles occasionally and it would feel totally wrong for me to remove them from my friend list.
That said, it probably would be good if someone was able to take them down if that is what they would have wanted.

Lkydfju · 05/02/2023 13:25

I know what you mean and I feel the same; I said to DH that if I died could he deactivate my account and told him my password.

WetBandits · 05/02/2023 13:25

I still have Facebook friends who are sadly no longer with us, it’s nice when Facebook ‘memories’ pop up with them on it as a little something to remember them by 🙂

Whataretheodds · 05/02/2023 13:25

No it's not odd. If I unfriended my late friend I wouldn't be able to see the photos of us that she posted.

daemonologie · 05/02/2023 13:25

It's not weird

BigcatLittlecat · 05/02/2023 13:26

My sister died suddenly! I see her come up in my memories all the time. I could get her account shut down but I just can't do that at the moment!

DuplicateUserName · 05/02/2023 13:26

I have 3 dead people on mine.

Why are you bothered whether it's odd or not?

NRCOA · 05/02/2023 13:27

I still have my Father as a friend on FB and he died 6 years ago.

His page says 'Remembering (name)'

BigcatLittlecat · 05/02/2023 13:27

I should have said I like seeing my sister on my memories, it brings me comfort!

Casilero · 05/02/2023 13:28

I still have my fathers mobile stored in my contacts 15 years after his death. I couldn't bring myself to delete it/him. If he'd had a Facebook account I would love to be able to scroll through past member and photos.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 05/02/2023 13:31

The process on Facebook turns the page into a memorial page and all pics become public and anyone can comment on it. That’s why some people don’t do it for a loved one - leaving it as it means only their friends can see photos.

BillyNighysWife · 05/02/2023 13:31

Weirdly, I was just reading a comment that a friend had written on my FB page, she died a year ago. I definitely wouldn’t delete people if they die. It’s nice that they are still there to remind me that that they are still part of my life in that the things we did together will always be a part of me.

Another friend who died three years ago, his male partner still posts on his FB, for example on his birthday, or the anniversary of his death. I’m not sure if he guessed his password or whether he gained access through FB admin. I find it very unsettling for a second when his name comes up in my notifications but I am happy that he does it.

Msgrieves · 05/02/2023 13:32

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Such a bizarre response, wtf do you think about Hmm

londonrach · 05/02/2023 13:32

I have two on my Facebook group friends. I won't everde-friend as it feel final. I do look on one friend ever so often and message her once a year. I know she never read it but it what we did ever year on that day (a tennis game). I miss her the most of that day as she used to be with me. I know her husband went into her Facebook last year and messaged me thanking me for the messages as felt she still alive. Judging by what he said several of her friends do the same and he chosen to leave her account active and will post on it once a year on their wedding anniversary. She taken too soon.

UthredofBattenberg · 05/02/2023 13:32

I have a few, I couldn't delete them. Not that it would make any difference to them whether I did not (obviously!) But I like that they are still "there" in some way. Occasionally a memory pops up, and that's nice for me, I can imagine for others it wouldn't be though.

BridieConvert · 05/02/2023 13:33

I have a few, even though I latterly didn't see them much I can't bring myself to delete them.

Thatiswild · 05/02/2023 13:34

Nothing odd about it at all, if their profile May still be there it’s because either their loved ones want to be able to see their photos etc. I occasionally used to look at a close family member’s profile after she had died and it really helped. I don’t have Facebook now but I liked it when she popped up, I don’t see anything weird about it.

NotTooOldPaul · 05/02/2023 13:35

I've got a few friends on Facebook who have died and their profiles are still on there. I've other frinds who have died and a relative has changed it to a memorial page, I like that idea.

There is a setting that says "Decide what happens to your Facebook profile if you pass away" and I've nominated my wife to look after it for me.

RomeoOscarXrayIndigoEcho · 05/02/2023 13:36

I have several friends connected to me who have died. I don't want to unfriend them. I want to be friends with their memory.

I do wish the family would close the accounts though. From a cyber security perspective.

I have set up all my social media accounts with a setting that allows someone else to gain access should I die (look it up online, it's becoming more common) and my DH and I have a password keeper for accounts so that one of us (or perhaps our children) can deal with our digital legacy.

Trinity65 · 05/02/2023 13:45

I have a dead friend and relative on Facebook.
They are still there as Friends.

ThinkingOfAWittyUsername · 05/02/2023 13:47

We applied to Facebook to shut down and delete a parent's profile after they passed away. It's what they would have wanted and they had been previously talking about perhaps deleting it themselves anyway.
I did go on and save pictures etc before it was done, though.