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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want to dog-sit

31 replies

Henceforth7 · 05/02/2023 12:20

Hi all,

I feel really awful and like a selfish person, but I’ve been asked to babysit my father’s partner’s two dogs at short notice, who are lovely affectionate things, however they are also poorly trained. They have often babysitted my dog, which I’m hugely grateful for, however my dog is well-behaved, doesn’t bark, isn’t reactive and isn’t possessive over humans/toys/food, etc. Their two dogs, on the other hand, bark throughout the night; one of them has major separation anxiety, and the other can be aggressive and possessive. There’s also two of them looking after 3 dogs and only one of me. I feel really awful for saying that I’d rather not babysit them, but I have a remote job interview tomorrow and want to be well-slept and to not have the dogs barking in the background whilst I’m on the call. I’m also due to be in the office all day on Tuesday and they’ll have to be left in a crate for 9 hours whilst I’m at work. I appreciate that I sound selfish but I have anxiety and the barking dogs just sends it through the roof. AIBU?

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 05/02/2023 12:21

No, YANBU. I’d lead with the fact that they’d be in the crate for 9 hours on one of those days as the reason why you can’t.

However, I dont think you should let them look after your dog if you’re not willing to return the favour. So I’d put a stop to that and find someone else to look after your dog.

Original poster
Henceforth7 · 05/02/2023 12:22

Just as another note, after the last time I baby-sat the dogs, I recommended that my dad take one of the dogs to a dog behaviourist/trainer, however nothing has been done, and he’s still as bad as ever with barking, possessiveness, reactivity to other dogs, etc.

OP posts:
Killerfail · 05/02/2023 12:22

You cannot leave dogs in a crate for 9 hours. That is appalling cruel. Tell them to book a dog sitter or kennels.

Changingplace · 05/02/2023 12:22

No just explain your reasons, can’t they go in a kennels instead?

I wouldn’t ask them to look after your dog again if you say no though, even though I understand your reasoning.

Original poster
Henceforth7 · 05/02/2023 12:23

@ShirleyPhallus Yes you’re right, I need to set up a sitter to look after my dog whilst I’m away.

OP posts:
Crazycrazylady · 05/02/2023 12:23

Yes you are.. it's quite selfish to happily ask people for a favour if you won't do one back when asked .

Like kids, everyone thinks their dogs are no bother and a pleasure to have. Trust me they're not.

Original poster
Henceforth7 · 05/02/2023 12:24

@Killerfail That’s what I think, to be honest. I feel bad enough leaving my dog by himself in the house for 9 hours on the one day a week that I go into the office.

OP posts:
VickyEadieofThigh · 05/02/2023 12:25

See, this is why we always use the excellent local kennels, even for a a day if we're going to be out and not restricted to times.

I think everyone should get their dogs accustomed to kennels - because you never know when an emergency might happen and you need to out them in there.

Bankofrave · 05/02/2023 12:26

Killerfail · 05/02/2023 12:22

You cannot leave dogs in a crate for 9 hours. That is appalling cruel. Tell them to book a dog sitter or kennels.

This
That would be significant animal abuse.
Has this happened before when they have come to your house to be looked after?

Bankofrave · 05/02/2023 12:27

I also assume your own dog gets stuck in a crate for 9 hours whilst you are out then?

Please reassure us you have a dog walker or friend who comes at least twice in that period to let them out for toiletting and a good walk?

Original poster
Henceforth7 · 05/02/2023 12:28

@Crazycrazylady Yes, you’re probably right which is why I’m going to employ a dog-sitter in the future. I know that my dog isn’t perfect - no dog is. But he’s been well-trained and stops when he’s told to stop, and because of his lazy breed, he basically just sleeps all day.

OP posts:
billy1966 · 05/02/2023 12:29

Absolutely not.

Don't ask them again either.

The favours are not equal.

Original poster
Henceforth7 · 05/02/2023 12:30

@Bankofrave My dog has free roam of the house because he isn’t destructive/doesn’t have separation anxiety. And I do have a dog walker, yes.

OP posts:
KangarooKenny · 05/02/2023 12:32

I would say that you can’t ask for them to have yours if you won’t have theirs, even though it’s understandable.

user1492757084 · 05/02/2023 12:33

Suggest a dog kennel if morethan two or three days or a teenager next door to them who would love the money and the playful, active nature of those dogs..

Shoogly · 05/02/2023 12:41

Do they know their dogs would be crated for so long? I wouldn't let my dog go somewhere if I thought they would be left for so long.

Original poster
Henceforth7 · 05/02/2023 12:49

@Shoogly Yes, my father suggested it, when I said that I’m in the office on Tuesday, because they have to be crated when left alone because one of them has separation anxiety and destroys things.

OP posts:
Cantstandbullshitanymore · 05/02/2023 12:57

Crazycrazylady · 05/02/2023 12:23

Yes you are.. it's quite selfish to happily ask people for a favour if you won't do one back when asked .

Like kids, everyone thinks their dogs are no bother and a pleasure to have. Trust me they're not.

She has reciprocated in the past and advised that they send the dogs for training. And as others have said going forward she should find other options for her dog.

Shoogly · 05/02/2023 12:59

You shouldn't take the dogs if you have to leave them for so long. It's a long time for your dog to be left too. Do have a dog walker for that day?

Shoogly · 05/02/2023 13:00

*do you have a dog walker?

TenoringBehind · 05/02/2023 13:07

Just politely say that they’re too much and it’s not compatible with you trying to work.

I refuse to have my BIL’s badly behaved dog even though I have three dogs of my own because it makes my life miserable.

Original poster
Henceforth7 · 05/02/2023 13:12

My boyfriend has now agreed to come up and baby-sit them on Tuesday so they’re not left alone all day.

I think one of the reasons why I’m frustrated is that I’ve suggested over and over for one of the dogs to be taken to a dog behaviourist/trainer, however nothing is ever done. They’re both monied so could afford it if they wanted to.

OP posts:
tangerinetreesandmarmaladeskies · 05/02/2023 13:12

If you're at work then no, you obviously can't have their dogs.

But I do think it's really cheeky to ask them to look after your dogs for free when you're unwilling to return the favour occasionally.

2bazookas · 05/02/2023 13:37

9 hours crating is cruel to the dogs. They'd be far more comfortable in a good commercial kennels; more space; indoor and out door runs, daytime walks attention and company.

NeedSomeSpace · 05/02/2023 13:44

Great news your boyfriend can help. I'd no longer ask them to sit your dog and then you don't have to return the favour. I'd therefore do it this time but clearly say that going forward you can't look after their dogs. Either find a lovely kennels for yours or someone local where you can have a better reciprocal arrangement.