Do you think these messages are confusing?

[LolaFerrari]

I know a lot of social media is crap but it's mainstream so tends to influence a lot of people.
The messages I see on Instagram consist of 'don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm' and 'put yourself first' then another message is 'show up' and 'be a supporter' the latter is usually about people not turning up to a child's party or the likes.

Aibu to think these messages are conflicting? Telling people to put themselves first but then also telling them to turn up to things they don't want too?

No. They aren’t conflicting. The message is very clear. Support and help other people, but not when it is disproportionately detrimental to you.

So, instead of sneering at your friend who’s decided to sell candles, buy one or share her adverts or tell people about them. But don’t feel the need to invest your entire life savings in your friend’s candle business no matter how much she asks.

Be a good person who helps other people but be considerate of your own needs too.

Maybe follow different people in Instagram. I don't get any of this.

First post nails it.

Why are adults so confused about how it's possible to be a decent human being whilst still have firm and reasonable boundaries.

If it’s a MLM please don’t support them. The sooner they realise it’s a dead end the less money they’ll lose.

What a wonderful way of intentionally and completely missing the point of what PP said.

Another example might be to pick up a coffee for a street homeless person but don’t give them your bank card and PIN number no matter how much they beg for it (but you’d undoubtedly point out that street homeless people don’t deserve coffee and should go to a shelter instead of begging. Another example would be to make time to send a card to your friends on their birthdays but if going out late on week night really impacts your sleep pattern, routine and mental health then don’t feel the need to attend a party or stay for the whole thing (but you’d undoubtedly point out that cards are ruining the environment).

There are always people who see nothing but then negative - I’m sure there are some Instagram quotes about not doing that.

Support those around you while also having boundaries?

I see this confusion so much on here. So many people confusing selfishness/rudeness with assertiveness/having boundaries, or else martyrdom with kindness/duty.

It's not a social media thing.....its just different opinions, and different shades of grey...

Eg. Too many cooks spoil the broth Vs Many hands make light work

Out of sight out of mind Vs Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

If you don't agree with social media then just sigh, roll your eyes and carry on scrolling.

I'm not confused, it's everything in moderation, innit?

Including social media.

OK thanks for clarifying.