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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this abusive behaviour, towards me or am I overreacting ?

27 replies

Gracebeau89 · 05/02/2023 03:53

Me an my partner have 3 children, he works full time I'm part time due to childcare. So this happens tonight, (stuff like this happen at least 3 times a week) our younger children often get into our bed in the middle of the night, DD2 gets into our bed, but we remind her of being a big girl. She happily gets back into her bed. Few minutes later our youngest child gets into our bed, she's much younger doesn't want to go in her bed, so I let her stay. DP then in an aggressive tone towards me says, is that it your letting her stay I have f-ing work tomorrow! He's a builder got his own job on, will only be few hours, I remind him of this and say well I had work last Sunday and she was in our bed keeping me up all night, he replies boo f-ing hoo! (It doesn't bother me if children get in our bed part of being a parent) it bothers him as he often thinks of himself as a priority in our relationship. He then continues to shout at me but I say my piece and then ignore him as gently move my foot it slightly touches him to which he kicks my foot away aggressively, so I tell him that's not on no need for that it's not the end of the world. He then jumps up shouting slams our bedroom door goes into our other child's room to get into the spare bed, but slams that door as well. By this point I've put youngest child back into her bed, fast asleep etc all tucked up. On my way back to bed I tell him slamming doors at 3am when kids are asleep and shouting is unacceptable in a house with children. He then replies I didn't slam any doors or shout and he didn't kick my foot away! It really annoys me because this is what happened, but in the morning now he will be adamant he didn't then he'll give me silent treatment, then eventually he will try and cuddle me and say I overreacted and he was just tired. But he does this a lot with certain things, often nasty comments about me working part time ( with have 3 young children and it was our mutual decision) and then if I pull him up on what he said he will say he didn't say that or I overreacted or that he didn't mean it like that. Sorry for rambling on hope this makes sense.

OP posts:
MuckFusk · 23/06/2025 02:00

Gymnopedie · 23/06/2025 00:08

Zombie thread from 2023

Oh crap. Thanks for the heads up. These zombies are annoying but it's my own fault for not checking the date.

Huhuhuhu39272 · 23/06/2025 02:41

Abusive. Sounds narcissistic.

These men usually start with emotional abuse, then they move on to slamming doors and end with violence toward their partners. Narc rage. Please inform yourself on how to deal with one x good luck

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