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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel a complete failure?

16 replies

Rollonmonday334 · 04/02/2023 23:40

So here I am, early 40’s, divorced and single parent. Own my own home. Hold down a good job. good network of friends.

so why am I completely incapable of keeping a tidy home? My place is like a student flatshare- I long to live in a nice ‘grown up’ home.

loads of things broken/ not working properly and I never get round to fixing. I actually get anxious and panicky about it.

place a mess- piles of ironing everywhere. Never have a chance to do it.

i do clean regularly- but feels never ending and my house never looks spotless- it’s all crisis management.

how can I ever change?? I have problems with depression which means I have bouts of doing virtually nothing in the house. It builds up and then get depressed at the mess.

has anyone ever been in this position and turned it around?

OP posts:
WineIsMyMainVice · 04/02/2023 23:45

Please read back the words you wrote at the beginning of your post:
“Own my own home. Hold down a good job. good network of friends.”
Those are achievements that many would wish for!
give yourself a break!

Rollonmonday334 · 05/02/2023 00:01

Thank you @WineIsMyMainVice

I really needed to hear that. Just been feeling so down about it.

OP posts:
phoenixrosehere · 05/02/2023 00:03

I’m confused by the voting.

Are you asking if yabu because you can’t keep a tidy house or if yabu to feel like a failure?

I think yabu to feel like a failure and yabu about struggling to have a tidy house. As long as your home doesn’t smell and public/social areas are cleaned, don’t worry too much.

A spotless home does not make you more or less of a “grown up”. If that was truly the case, the majority would be considered children.

What you have accomplished so far, far outweighs having a spotless home. I would take your accomplishments

macaronitoni · 05/02/2023 00:03

You’re doing fantastically, really. You have faced some difficulties and overcome them quite well by the sounds of it.
My house is as you describe. Feel up against it making sure all the laundry and shopping is done, never mind cleaning of the house and general admin tasks. I think we all feel a bit like it. I empathise entirely and know it’s not easy

HelloBunny · 05/02/2023 00:05

I get it. My house is the same. Was feeling so bad the other day, and it’s definitely the environment around me. When the place is tidy, I feel so much better. But it’s just in tatters at the moment... It’s just impossible!

Summergarden · 05/02/2023 00:06

You’re doing great, stop being hard on yourself.

one piece of advice: don’t bother with ironing. I don’t iron anything. Just hang things to dry flat on Airers and it dries just fine. Then you can just put everything straight away instead of sitting around in messy piles waiting to be ironed.

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 05/02/2023 00:09

I'm very similar - depression paralyses me for long periods and the house just goes to pot.

Stopthebusplease · 05/02/2023 00:17

I agree with first poster, you are not a failure. However, it does sound like you need to organise yourself better, and having a regular routine with things like housework and ironing, do help stop these jobs getting out of control. You don't say how old your child/children is/are, are they of an age where they could help with the chores a bit? I used to find when I was working that getting up 1/2 hour earlier, and quickly whipping through one room with duster and vacuum each morning, really helped keep things under control, and also sent me off to work feeling like I'd already achieved something with my day. Now unfortunately, I'm disabled and have to spend a lot of time in bed, which means that routine has had to go out of the window, so I do totally understand how frustrated you get with yourself. Why are there piles of ironing 'everywhere?' Surely having a regular place to put the ironing, even if it's a huge pile, will keep it organised, until you do get around to doing it. Do you iron everything OP, or just things that really NEED ironing? I used to iron things like polo shirts which my DH wears all the time, but now put them straight on a hanger after washing, I hang them on the line this way if drying outside, or if I put them in the dryer, they go on hangers as soon as they come out, so that saves a big part of our ironing. Again, if your kids are old enough, teach them to iron things like school shirts (if necessary) again if they wear polos, put them on the hangers as above. You say your place looks like 'a student flat share', which to me indicates things like coffee cups left all over the place, un-emptied bins, papers left where they're put down, etc. These are all easy things to deal with. EVERY time you have a coffee, take the cup out to the kitchen and rinse it straightaway, that way your cups don't get time to get stained, and are quickly dealt with, then dry and put straight back in their home. Most kids, when past the toddler stage can help with emptying bins, again, do them every day. As for the paperwork of managing a home, sort through and dump junk mail straight into recycling bin if you have one, if not, get a box or similar, and keep it wherever you open your mail. Anything else that needs dealing with, should go in a box or tray, and dealt with a.s.a.p. Hope some of these suggestions help, but when you're feeling low and like you can't be bothered, at least if you stick to rinsing the cups and getting rid of the rubbish, your home shouldn't get too bad, unless of course a lot of the mess is down to kids, in which case when you are feeling OK, you're going to have to teach them what needs to be done.

Coffeeandcatsforlife · 05/02/2023 00:20

You’re a single mum who works full time OP, you’re a fucking legend! Knock the ironing in the head, honestly not worth the stress.

NaturalBae · 05/02/2023 00:28

You’ve achieved a lot.
Ditch the ironing. Fold/hang it up straight away. Tumble dry what you can and hang it up ASAP to prevent creases forming.

Ohnobloodysnow · 05/02/2023 00:29

Can you get a cleaner and declutter? I'm in the process of doing the latter as I feel like this also. Less things less mess!

samqueens · 05/02/2023 00:45

You’re not a failure - you’re ticking some really important boxes there in the first line of your post, well done!!

I’d suggest - no more ironing. Life’s too short and full of other stuff. Put everything away when clean - if you need to emergency iron a particular item before you wear it then do it at that point.

If you can afford it then get a cleaner - even once a fortnight makes a big difference.

For the things that are broken etc when you have a spurt of energy make a list of all those little things. Next energy spurt - identify a person or company who can deal with them. Ideally one stop shop, otherwise break them down into different areas (appliances/handyman etc). Finally wait until you have any spare cash and book someone to come and blitz those boys for you. Alternatively, trade some help with the fixings for cooking a Sunday roast for a friend or similar.

Doesn’t matter if it takes six weeks/six months or even longer. I find aiming to get things done before Christmas comes round again gives a target but not too much pressure (unless it’s November when I make that decision 🤣).

JamSandle · 05/02/2023 00:46

Youre not a failure by any means. Sounds like you're focusing on the one flawed area. It sounds like everything else is going amazingly well.

HollyGolightly4 · 05/02/2023 01:03

Look at the organised mum method, massive help

Rollonmonday334 · 05/02/2023 09:48

Thanks everyone for all your replies. I’ve read every one of them and they are a massive help.

Feeling a bit more ready to face it this morning.

I definitely think I need to get a cleaner once a fortnight- think it would be more beneficial( and cheaper) than going out for a few drinks with friends so will justify the cost that way.

I think I probably do need to set a longer deadline - like Christmas!! - to get it all done. I get so depressed when another weekend passes and all the jobs I promised I’d do are still undone.

I’ll read up on organised mum!

OP posts:
Theresahippopotamusonourroofeatingcake · 05/02/2023 09:53

I find having a cleaner means that we have to have the house tidy enough to clean once a week. It goes slip in the meantime but because it is spotless once a week, it's never too bad even with our lazy ways.

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