I agree with first poster, you are not a failure. However, it does sound like you need to organise yourself better, and having a regular routine with things like housework and ironing, do help stop these jobs getting out of control. You don't say how old your child/children is/are, are they of an age where they could help with the chores a bit? I used to find when I was working that getting up 1/2 hour earlier, and quickly whipping through one room with duster and vacuum each morning, really helped keep things under control, and also sent me off to work feeling like I'd already achieved something with my day. Now unfortunately, I'm disabled and have to spend a lot of time in bed, which means that routine has had to go out of the window, so I do totally understand how frustrated you get with yourself. Why are there piles of ironing 'everywhere?' Surely having a regular place to put the ironing, even if it's a huge pile, will keep it organised, until you do get around to doing it. Do you iron everything OP, or just things that really NEED ironing? I used to iron things like polo shirts which my DH wears all the time, but now put them straight on a hanger after washing, I hang them on the line this way if drying outside, or if I put them in the dryer, they go on hangers as soon as they come out, so that saves a big part of our ironing. Again, if your kids are old enough, teach them to iron things like school shirts (if necessary) again if they wear polos, put them on the hangers as above. You say your place looks like 'a student flat share', which to me indicates things like coffee cups left all over the place, un-emptied bins, papers left where they're put down, etc. These are all easy things to deal with. EVERY time you have a coffee, take the cup out to the kitchen and rinse it straightaway, that way your cups don't get time to get stained, and are quickly dealt with, then dry and put straight back in their home. Most kids, when past the toddler stage can help with emptying bins, again, do them every day. As for the paperwork of managing a home, sort through and dump junk mail straight into recycling bin if you have one, if not, get a box or similar, and keep it wherever you open your mail. Anything else that needs dealing with, should go in a box or tray, and dealt with a.s.a.p. Hope some of these suggestions help, but when you're feeling low and like you can't be bothered, at least if you stick to rinsing the cups and getting rid of the rubbish, your home shouldn't get too bad, unless of course a lot of the mess is down to kids, in which case when you are feeling OK, you're going to have to teach them what needs to be done.