Physical Bullying why do they do it ?

[Neapolitanicecream]

I read an article about physical bullying at school, a young lad was advised to take off his glasses and then a group punched and kicked him. It was all so premeditated, shocking. I thought I could handle reading it but it’s still triggering for me 30 years later. This stuff stay with you !!! But why do they do it ? Were you ever a bully ? Why ? It takes alot of effort to punch someone

Yes at least they didn’t punch glass into his eyes, good lads. Jesus wept.

Perhaps they were worried someone would make them pay for replacements if they smashed his glasses.

Innocently attacked or not ????? Errr…. Care to elaborate? You think a child might deserve to be beaten up by a mob? We don’t need a back story MOST of us would know this is wrong!

I did elaborate. If you had read the very next sentence that followed instead of rushing to post, you would have seen it.

There's never any excuse for bullying and you're right that it can still affect people many years later.

You thought it would have been better for the child to have been beaten up by one other? You’re on the fence? Sorry why are you on the fence about a kid being beaten up?

I've worked with children who have been bullied and bullies in my career. I was bullied at school which was one of the reasons why I chose my job - I wanted to make a difference to those children who were being bullied. The problem isn't always what people think.

I remember one girl who would run away from her bully - she was an extremely nervous child and he genuinely didn't understand the impact of his behaviour. One day, I made her turn round, stand firm and to tell him loudly to go away. He didn't do it again after that and after she shouted at him no-one tried to bully her again. They could see she wouldn't be intimidated.

Another child who had form for bullying had a really difficult home life. I spent a lot of time working with him. He's a really nice child but he needed time to process his trauma.

In a nutshell, parents need to teach children to stand up for themselves early on and make them feel secure. It gives them genuine confidence.

Oh ffs...

They told him to take his glasses off as a childish 'trick', because you 'don't hit kids who wear glasses'.... once specs off, he's not a kid wearing glasses.

Bullies do it because it makes them feel stronger, safer, better about themselves. They live in a world where to be feared by others is the best plan.

To an extent, I can understand that, particularly if they come from a background where violence is modeled in front of them, where to be feared is indeed to be successful, safe, beneficial... and of course many of them will be being physically abused by others bigger and stronger than them.

Can you explain what "innocently attacked" means?

Are you suggesting that something in the "background leading up to this" could have justified it?

A fight, I mean, not getting jumped, which is always wrong IMO.

Under what circumstances is a physical fight between kids justified?

Well this OP was about a mob attack so you dont need to be on the fence at all do you? Also any child starting a phiscal fight is totally unaccepatable. Self defence if they are being physically attacked is ok, but starting it NEVER OK!!

I have to take issue with the ‘stand up to them and they go away’ assertion. That may be effective in the case of one - just one - child picking on another. Maybe. Most often what happens is that your bully has back-up and uses it. So it’s one against many, and the kids who would otherwise be the victim’s friend (or at least not oppress them) are too scared to do anything. I’m unfortunately an expert by experience; the whole of my schooldays was scarred by bullying. I suffered the full range from ostracism to violence. Adults need to manage the situation properly or you are just leaving kids to police other kids.

I’m glad speaking up worked for that child. It didn’t work for me - I tried standing up to a bully and telling her to leave me alone, she rounded up her friends who attacked me as a group, punching and kicking and pulling my hair, then said she was going to get her older brothers after school and together they’d break my legs for being rude to her. I managed to get help from a teacher and she was suspended for a few days, and sooner after that was excluded after another incident with another student. It’s not always so simple as just standing up for yourself, sadly.

@Keyansier does this on more or less every thread he joins. If there's Ivy League levels of batshittery, especially early on in the thread, at least an 84% chance he's responsible.

Not really sure what you hope this thread will reveal though, OP. Doubt anyone's going to admit to being the school bully and kicking the shit out of younger kids at break time.