Marriage

4 replies

Mumiito3 · 04/02/2023 16:59

Hey, so i have been with my partner for 13 years and we have 2 children together, he asked me to marry him well we had a conversation and we got engaged, then he told his family that i forced him to do it 🙄, then 2 years later asked me again (not romantic but oh well we can wish) and then whenever i have brought up marriage its just been ignored then recently we were with his family and he said he doesnt lnow why anyone would get married for a peice of paper 📄
When i got with him he knew how important marriage was to me but now i dont think it will ever happen. AIBU for being a bit peeved and slightly confused x

OP posts:

Testina · 04/02/2023 17:02

He doesn’t think it’s important to you, because it isn’t important to you. Otherwise you’d have married him before having children.

You need to decide if you want to marry him, and if you do - tell him it’s happening.

I’m hoping you’re the financially stronger party here, but I’m going to take a punt that you’re not.

He right, it is just a piece of paper. But a piece of paper worth having for many prolific who have compromised their financial security for someone else.

category12 · 04/02/2023 17:05

Why did you stay with him after he called off the engagement and told people you'd made him do it? Wasn't that incredibly hurtful?

Why would you even want to marry someone who did that?

JizzlordTheCat · 04/02/2023 17:06

All of these men who think marriage is “just a piece of paper” care a lot when the piece of paper is a £50 note or house deeds.

In your position, I’d be more than a bit peeved. I’m be upset that he’s treated me with such disdain, and very angry that he’s not willing to give me the legal protection that marriage affords.

What’s your situation in terms of working and property ownership?

ImAvingOops · 04/02/2023 17:13

You should have handed him his arse when he told his family you forced him to get engaged ! Why in earth would you let that go and still be with him?

He hasn't married you because he doesn't want to and he's already derived the benefits of marriage without the commitment and risk. I would be truly surprised if you were the one who is better off financially as things stand.

The 'piece of paper' argument is bullshit - house deeds are a piece of paper. As is any contract!

He doesn't sound like a catch but if marrying him gives you material security then you have to insist it happens. If he won't do it, then you know he really doesn't give a crap about you and has wilfully mislead you for years!

Flip