To ask for help deciding between ELCS and vaginal birth

[elm26]

Hello everyone

I am 24 weeks pregnant with my first baby and I'm 29 years old.

I've had multiple miscarriages (double digits) and this is the first time I've made it past the first trimester.

Due to my history of unknown cause of miscarriages, endometriosis and my history of anxiety and depression, my consultant has asked me to think about my birth and whether I'd like a planned, controlled ELCS or to allow myself to go naturally.

My placenta is currently low and nearly covering my cervix so of course this could take the decision out of my hands and I have scans at 30 and 34 weeks to see if this has moved up.

I love the idea of natural birth BUT I'm terrified of the thought of needing an emergency c-sec or an emergency in general. I'm naturally nervous of the pain, the length of time it can take etc. I'm equally as nervous for a c-sec as it's surgery and there are risks and the physical recovery is longer, pain etc.

However, if a planned c-sec I imagine it would be calm and controlled (unless something unexpected happened I guess), I'd know the date, I'd be able to prepare myself.

Please help! I'm giving myself anxiety thinking about the anxiety of either! 🤦🏻‍♀️ I really have struggled with this pregnancy, convinced I will lose her at any given moment because of our losses and it's really taken it's toll on me.

I had an emergency section at 9cm first time, really sick baby in NNu for 2weeks and I was poorly, required blood etc. I went for a vbac second time, was induced and it was hard. I had a 3rd degree tear and bled a lot. However, would go for another vbac next time 100% as for me, the risks of CS are more significant.

it is a very personal decision, and no one here will be able to make or should be influencing your decision making

GneissGuysFinishLast it's strange you mention shoulder pain I had awful shoulder pain too I thought I'd just got cold in my shoulder! No one else I know who had c sections had this. I'd still do it again though 😊.

It’s trapped gas irritating the diaphragm! I couldn’t use my right arm- it was bad!

I had two very straightforward and easy vaginal deliveries. In fact they were so easy that on both occasions no one realised how close to delivery I was and I only just made it to a delivery room in time. Both babies also both came before an elcs would have been scheduled, so even if that has been the plan I'd have ended up having them vaginally just because of how quickly it all happened. Just a possibility to keep in mind.

Recovery in both cases was a breeze.

My advice to you would be to plan for vaginal.

Like you I had recurrent losses trying to conceive my first baby, although over a relatively short period of time (15 months) and not in double figures (I had 5). I don't think I was as traumatised as you, but I was pretty anxious. I managed to calm down during the second half of my pregnancy and start to actually enjoy it. And somewhere along the way I started to believe that I would have a wonderfully straightforward drug free vaginal birth and breathe my baby out like some kind of earth mother.

What actually happened was that I got to almost 40 weeks, had an episode of reduced movement, panicked and went in for monitoring, and my doctor recommended immediate induction. The induction ultimately failed and I ended up with an emergency C-section. My physical recovery was easy but psychologically I found it difficult to move on from.

A year after my C-section, I got pregnant again and this time I had no miscarriages but straightforward healthy pregnancy. I considered having an elective C-section, but decided to try for a VBAC, and had a straightforward vaginal delivery with an epidural and no complications other than a small tear which has healed well. (I'm just coming up to 4 weeks postpartum.)

Although I loved my VBAC and felt much better afterwards than I did after my C-section, you need to make the right choice for you. If you don't feel you particularly want to experience vaginal birth and your sole aim is to get your baby out safe and well whilst minimising your own anxiety, an elective C-section may be the best way to do it, especially if you don't think you will have any more children. You could have it at 39 weeks, meaning potentially up to three weeks less waiting around at the end. If you do feel you want to experience vaginal birth, you could ask for extra monitoring at the end and just see how things go. An epidural once you're in active labour may help you to feel more calm and in control of things, and the anaesthetic will already be in place should you need to go for an emergency C-section.

Birth is so unpredictable. I lean towards recommending vaginal because both of mine popped out in a few hours with no drama. It was actually an amazing experience, so exciting, and I feel a bit sad I'm done with babies and won't do it again.

It could be the same for you or very, very different. At least with ELCS you have a bit more certainty about a lot of things, which you may need if you suffer with anxiety.

Hey OP so happy for you that this is going well!
on your case especially because of the placenta it seems an ELCS would be the best option!!
I had a semi elective and it was amazing. Sooo calm and I knew I’d have my baby out safely. Recovery was fine you just have to relax for a bit. Tbh those few days cuddling your newborn and watching films is lovely anyway. Hope this helps and all the best! X