Play date etiquette

[Cuppasoupmonster]

Hi,

Massively overthinking this I know, DD had a note in her nursery bag asking if she would like to arrange a play date for in a few weeks time. We accepted the invite, but today she’s come back with a party invitation from another child for the same day.

I don’t know if the first child has been invited to the party, do I ask? Or just stick to the original arrangement? Obviously if child 1 hasn’t been invited we will stick with the play date, as it’s a ‘closer’ friend anyway. But I need to RSVP about the party soon and don’t want to turn it down only to find out child 1 is invited.

thanks!

Ask child 1's parent? If they haven't been invited, stick with the playdate, if they have, ask what they're planning on doing.

Just ask the other parent and if so - if they want to go. If no stick to the original plan

I just worried it would look a bit mean if they weren’t invited!

Bit awkward but annoying if they were abd both wanted to go.

can you ask the party planner?

If child 1 and child 2 both play with your child, chances are child 1 has been invited to child 2's party, especially if it's a hall type.

Child1's parent will contact you to rearrange if they have been invited and want child1 to go to the party. I would leave it a few days and then decline the party invite if you haven't heard from them.

Unless they are thinking about it in the same way as OP (will leave the play date if OP's DC is not invited; otherwise go to party) and are waiting for OP to blink first.

Just ask child 1's parent.

Thanks all. Thinking of messaging ‘Hi Julie, DD has been invited to Sam’s party on the 18th, has your DD been invited too? If not more than happy to stick with our play date, DD is really looking forward to it’

how does that sound? It’s a hall type party so would be a shame to miss it, but if child 1 isn’t invited then fair is fair and we will stick with the play date.

Perfect

I think I would ask Sam’s parents to be honest. Save any hurt feelings if Julie isn’t invited. Just something like ‘hi we got the invite but we have been invited out with Julie that day and have already accepted. Is Julie invited to the party? If not we will have to stick with our first commitment so sorry, but we won’t be able to come.’

What age is your wee one? Just thinking they might know if their friend is invited?

It's perfectly polite OP, but if I received it I would definitely say "no worries, we'll change the playdate to another day so your child can do both."

DD is 3, she’s not at the stage where I trust her answers! She tends to make things up if she doesn’t know or can’t remember.

Maybe the friends parent will feel awkward if her child is not invited to the party, and maybe not, buuuut, she might then also feel happy that you stick with the play date over the party if that makes sense.