Flurry of posts from me lately on different stuff. Sorry. Head is a bit scrambled atm.
BIL (DHs brother) has recently separated from his wife. They have 2 small kids, just either side in age to our DC. Wife has recently moved out (just over a month). BIL now has a new girlfriend.
It's not my business and I'm not inserting myself into it.
But, BIL keeps inviting me, DH and our DC to do things with them (he and new GF). We have explained to DC that aunty and uncle have decided to live in separate houses and now his cousins have two houses and spend time at both. DCs first question was "You and Daddy aren't going to do that are you?". Assured, no.
I feel v uncomfortable taking DC there / out with them so soon. He will no doubt ask who new girlfriend is, why his aunty isn't there and why GF is there instead. If he doesn't ask, he'll wonder.
I'd rather leave it a while so aunty not being on the scene any more feels a bit more normal before introducing a new woman as his uncles partner/friend (i think kids see through the 'friend' thing anyway). It just seems, destabilising.
BIL hasn't introduced GF to his kids yet so he seems to get that that would be weird for them. But doesn't seem to comprehend that this would also raise questions for our DC. Obviously it's not the same at all. But it's the first time someone in our family has been through separation and I want to protect them from questioning the foundations of everything. DCs cousins are main peers in the family and we were one big rabble quite often.
AIBU/precious/selfish? Or is this a reasonable consideration?
They live a few hours away so popping out for an evening or visiting without DC isn't an option, and if they came here DC would obviously be here.
GF seems perfectly nice btw! No issues with her personally at all.