I'm looking for opinions from others as I'm really torn right now.
I've been with my partner 8 years. We live 1hr 30 away from each other. This means we see each other weekends and holidays due to work commitments etc. during the week.
The distance and frequency didn't bother me the first few years as there was the time frame set for us to live together. We each have two children, so affording a big enough house for a blended family has proved impossible. We would both be first time buyers, and neither of us can afford a deposit due to various factors eating in to our funds.
We are still saving and still planning, but are still realistically looking at a few more years.
My issue is, that I'm at a point where I'm finding the lack of contact frustrating. He is without doubt, a kind, rational trustworthy man. We don't argue and when we are together he is always great. But, when we are apart he lacks the effort on an emotional level. We used to keep things fun and put in the extra effort to keep us ticking along. Our messages have become generic and predictable. We still speak everyday and tell each other we love each other.
But I am going through a lot of personal stuff at the moment as well as studying and working. I'm at breaking point and for the first time in 8 years, I asked him if he could come over and see me in the evening for a few hours for dinner. It was for yesterday - so a week day. He didn't have work today, and I won't be seeing him this weekend as I have an exam.
His response was that he would, but my daughter has a cold and he doesn't want to catch it. He's so sorry etc.
To me, this is a cop out because in all honesty, knowing how I'm feeling if the shoe was on the other foot I wouldn't hesitate.
This has really made me sit up and think. A time I really needed him, and he didn't step up. I'm now questioning everything. I've asked him before if he was happy with our set up, and he's assured me that he doesn't want to be with anyone else, and that one day we will be living together and things will get easier. But I'm starting to really notice the difficulties a LDR brings. There absolutely isn't anyone else I'd rather be with. But truthfully right now, I'd rather be alone that feeling the resentment and sadness I feel for my partner not being present when I need him most.
Obviously this is one example, but in the past he has been emotionally distant when I've had serious health scares, losing loved ones and so on. Basically the big stuff. He doesn't know how to support me in those times.
I am usually very strong, and I know I'd be OK on my own. I just don't want to throw away 8 years and regret it after, but I'm frustrated as no matter how many times I address the issue, he apologises and nothing changes.
Sorry, I know this is long, but if you've got this far, some advice would be great.