Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Thoughts on moving from England to Florida

404 replies

Decisions2023 · 03/02/2023 18:29

Other half wants us to move from England to his home town in Florida. He has family and friends there etc and he can keep the same job. We have a 9 months of baby and the move is making me nervous. The thought of making my child American is making me nervous as it would become his home and all he knows. I'm not sure if I'm thinking rational. We are not well off and the thought of making this big decision on my childs behalf makes me anxious/nervous.

Do you think I would be putting my child at an advantage or disadvantage?

Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
13
SerafinasGoose · 04/02/2023 16:45

I lived on the eastern seaboard of the US for a while and had friends in Florida who I visited regularly. The Keys felt like paradise, however, the politics are a far cry from the more liberal north. Miami is also a fairly intimidating place as far as violent crime is concerned.

I'd move back to New England or to the Mass region in a heartbeat. Florida, no.

Rollin · 04/02/2023 16:47

So many much nicer places to live than Florida! Would he consider somewhere else?? With less drugs, guns, heat, right wing homophobes??

elm26 · 04/02/2023 16:54

My Aunt, Uncle and cousins moved to Tarpon Springs, FL 20 years ago and my Nan & Gramps had a house in Redington Beach.

I spent most of the summer holidays there and loved it, I still do and I feel "home" when I'm there however there is no way I would live there now what with politics, gun laws and massive drug issues across FL.

PeekAtYou · 04/02/2023 17:01

I meant to say primary school children are told stories like escaped dogs. Secondary school students are told reasons like escaped prisonee, chemical spills, extreme weather...

SuperSonicMonic · 04/02/2023 17:02

I wouldn’t want to live in Florida, or anywhere else in USA. I’ll stop right there on that subject.

SwingandaPrayer · 04/02/2023 17:18

Personally I would never in million years move to the USA, and definitely not Florida. Anywhere where there is so little gun control and where there is the SLIGHTEST chance Trump could get reflected as POTUS would be a big no for me. So much dependence on your car, zero rights for women re abortion and just so humid, hot and sticky. Just no. No. Not for me.

Rollin · 04/02/2023 18:19

The crime rate and gun ownership in the US are the main 2 reasons we live in the U.K. versus the USA. That and the insane healthcare.

XVGN · 04/02/2023 18:50

Some of the hyperbole expressed here is hilarious. There are lovely places and people in Florida, and shit ones too just like the UK.

knitnerd90 · 04/02/2023 19:44

XVGN · 04/02/2023 18:50

Some of the hyperbole expressed here is hilarious. There are lovely places and people in Florida, and shit ones too just like the UK.

Yes. The problem is that when you have a consistently bad state government, it affects the whole state.

it's not as if there aren't terrible people in liberal states, either, but a better run and funded state government ensures certain basics. For example, I know that if financial disaster were to strike and we lost our jobs, I would be able to get Medicaid for my entire family and we would at least have all our health care costs covered.

by the way, the NHS restricts expensive medications too; they just do it differently. It's done at a higher level that's largely invisible to the patient, rather than going to the pharmacy and then finding out. There are NHS drug budgets and guidance to doctors.

I do find generalisations like architecture to be a bit silly. The US is hugely diverse in architectural styles. There's less older architecture, and I do miss certain things from the UK, but there's lovely things here. Suburban housing estates, especially post WWII, seem to be pretty uninspiring everywhere. Both the US and UK did some terrible things in the name of urban renewal and rebuilding in the postwar era. (Similarly, Paris may be beautiful, but go into the banlieue and it's as grim as anywhere else.)

its important to understand that crime and guns are pretty closely tied to location, poverty, and yes, race. There are far too many guns in the USA, but even then they are not evenly distributed.

I don't think the USA (or UK) is objectively a better or worse place to live, but the question is whether it's worth it for you to uproot and move, and I haven't heard any compelling reasons.

DisneyDisneyDisney · 04/02/2023 19:50

They do lockdown drills at Primary and Secondary schools on South coast. I am a teacher and we do these in primary and my children do them in secondary. Don’t know what thesenderofthiscard is talking about!!

mathanxiety · 04/02/2023 20:23

@stoodmyground

So two incidents = 'normal'?

pleaseandthankyou45 · 04/02/2023 22:12

I'm American and live in the UK. Personally
I prefer it here (although I really wish the Brexit/cost of living/NHS crisis could be better). I think it's more of a community feel here, less pressure on kids, and more of a safety net. Also isolation is HARD. If I had known how hard it would be moving here I probably wouldn't have done it. I'm glad I did but it's not without its challenges.

Decisions2023 · 04/02/2023 22:15

Thank you all. I have a lot to think about.
@pleaseandthankyou45 Pressure on kids in what way?

OP posts:
knitnerd90 · 04/02/2023 22:24

pleaseandthankyou45 · 04/02/2023 22:12

I'm American and live in the UK. Personally
I prefer it here (although I really wish the Brexit/cost of living/NHS crisis could be better). I think it's more of a community feel here, less pressure on kids, and more of a safety net. Also isolation is HARD. If I had known how hard it would be moving here I probably wouldn't have done it. I'm glad I did but it's not without its challenges.

I think this is very dependent on what circles you are in. There is quite a lot of pressure on teens where I live to achieve academically and get good grades, and if your child is into competitive sport, things can get very high pressure far too early. But when I look at well off family and friends back in London it's the same, sometimes worse if they're intent on private or grammar schools.

For us, I feel that we skipped early academic pressure (no competitive school admissions) and got more pressure for high school as assessment is continuous.

DdraigGoch · 04/02/2023 23:13

unsureatthispoint · 04/02/2023 09:32

Have you actually listened to him?

DeSantis is a breath of fresh air amongst all the clowns plaguing the political sphere in the USA today. He has also managed to keep the state's finances under control, as he's not wasting resources on indoctrination, self indulgence and unicorn chasing

I'm not sure that the solution to a bunch of clowns is to elect another clown, only different.

StanFransDisco · 04/02/2023 23:24

Busybody2022 · 03/02/2023 19:14

We are south coast. My kids know one long bell is fire bell and 5 short bells is lockdown and what to do. Its standard in the UK now.

It absolutely is not standard practice in the UK.

DdraigGoch · 04/02/2023 23:27

maranella · 04/02/2023 11:15

I would never vote for Ron DeSantis, but try living with Gavin Newsom's policies - they're a lot worse for the people of his state to live with than DeSantis' are for the people of his. California is turning into one giant homeless shelter.

Are there any moderate states? Ones not so libertarian that people take their guns to the supermarket (just because they can), but also not so liberal that they've cut recorded crime figures by simply legalising everything?

SamanthaCaine · 04/02/2023 23:43

XVGN · 04/02/2023 18:50

Some of the hyperbole expressed here is hilarious. There are lovely places and people in Florida, and shit ones too just like the UK.

Definitely

I'm not saying where we holiday in Florida (because it's too good to advertise!) but I've good, decent friends there who live in a wonderful part of the state.

There's more to Florida than Miami and the other tourist hot spots.

And yes, there are plenty of shitholes in the UK, with many getting worse by the day.

Labraradabrador · 04/02/2023 23:46

@knitnerd90 @pleaseandthankyou45 i think it is an interesting comparison wrt pressure on kids. In the Uk it is all about the exams - a couple tests determine your entire educational and therefore vocational future. I can’t fathom how stressful that is, and am really dreading having to help my children navigate that.

in the US it is more about holistic achievement, which puts pressure on upper middle class kids to do ALL the things: elite sports 6 days a week, routine volunteering, heavy AP course load, student club leadership, etc. if you choose to play that game, it can be exhausting.

that said, I prefer the US system as there is more flexibility/ more avenues for success. Bomb one exam? No problem - you have plenty of other opportunities to make it up.

I also remember having way more fun in high school pursuing topics that were of interest to us ( picking a piece of literature to analyse and spending a month going really deep, doing independent projects in history, random experiments in science that were never part of any exam). Secondary in the UK seems like one big slog towards exams.

My husband is English and educated privately before getting a 1st at Oxford -pinnacle of success in the UK, right? I am an American educated instate schools, and then on to prestigious (but not ivy) private university. My general knowledge, willingness to get stuck in, and interest in learning new things for the sake of it far exceed his.

2018SoFarSoGreat · 04/02/2023 23:59

Those arguing that there are lovely and shit places everywhere are not wrong, I've been to lovely places in Florida. The Keys are amazing, spectacular places to holiday. A ritzy hotel stay in Miami Beach is great fun. All true.

It is living in a state that is so clearly focused on freedom to be armed yet to remove access to abortion, for one example, that is at issue for me. When education is so poorly funded, and with so much censorship, that is an issue. When the political climate so negatively impacts life and safety, it needs to be considered.

Hurricanes are terrifying but I live in Northern California so they are no more so than earthquakes.

CalmBeforeStorm01 · 05/02/2023 00:03

Florida = guns, unsafe schools, anti-abortion, racism, Trump and old people. No thanks. Plus as others have said, if you split up, you might be forced to leave but wouldn't necessarily be allowed to take your child with you.

ZZTopGuitarSolo · 05/02/2023 00:08

Labraradabrador · 04/02/2023 23:46

@knitnerd90 @pleaseandthankyou45 i think it is an interesting comparison wrt pressure on kids. In the Uk it is all about the exams - a couple tests determine your entire educational and therefore vocational future. I can’t fathom how stressful that is, and am really dreading having to help my children navigate that.

in the US it is more about holistic achievement, which puts pressure on upper middle class kids to do ALL the things: elite sports 6 days a week, routine volunteering, heavy AP course load, student club leadership, etc. if you choose to play that game, it can be exhausting.

that said, I prefer the US system as there is more flexibility/ more avenues for success. Bomb one exam? No problem - you have plenty of other opportunities to make it up.

I also remember having way more fun in high school pursuing topics that were of interest to us ( picking a piece of literature to analyse and spending a month going really deep, doing independent projects in history, random experiments in science that were never part of any exam). Secondary in the UK seems like one big slog towards exams.

My husband is English and educated privately before getting a 1st at Oxford -pinnacle of success in the UK, right? I am an American educated instate schools, and then on to prestigious (but not ivy) private university. My general knowledge, willingness to get stuck in, and interest in learning new things for the sake of it far exceed his.

I think you’ve nailed a lot of truths there. I’m a Brit in the US.

My older two kids have avoided falling into that trap of feeling the need to be superstars in every part of their high school life, and they did still get into exactly the type of university that suits them. But they were surrounded by kids who felt they needed to play the game to get into Brown or Bowdoin or wherever.

My youngest has absolutely zero interest in academics but the wide variety of non-academic options means that he’s about to go to community college for $0 in fees, leave with an associates degree and a qualification that means he’ll start working on a very nice income, and he has the option of going on to do another 2 years at college and get a bachelors if he does discover a love of academics.

I’ve been incredibly happy with US schools and I have three of the most different kids you could imagine.

knitnerd90 · 05/02/2023 01:12

Yes, for all the negative talk about American education, we've largely been very happy. I daresay I would be less enthusiastic if my kids had attended bad schools, but I think the flexibility and emphasis on being well rounded was a positive. I think the changes to GCSEs and A-Levels that make them all about the exams were not a change for the better. We've also had excellent special education services for 2 of my 3, and they have not had to choose between being properly accommodated and academic achievement.

We did have the choice to opt in to another high school for the IB Diploma. Eldest chose not to; I don't know if #2 or #3 will (#2 is leaning against).

Interestingly, one thing Florida does do is that their public university tuition is very cheap. In-state tuition at UF, the flagship campus, is only $6,400. Unfortunately, some of the liberal states are among the most expensive for public university tuition.

solisetlunae · 05/02/2023 01:43

Just want to add some more input: I'm an immigrant/expat to USA and a citizen for years now. While we were in the green card process, we considered moving to UK through a program as a skilled worker. We are, both DH and I, in high tech so it didn't make sense for us to move to UK. I also have a friend who is from UK and working in the same industry and he doesn't move back for work reasons. So, your work conditions/opportunities are a big part of your decision. If in high tech, moving to Florida is not advantageous compared to many other states. But if you are already working remote, you'll have tax advantages. School situation can be arranged as there are charter schools everywhere or private schools that can provide financial aid if needed. Politics, and other factors are usually the least of concerns in practice.

solisetlunae · 05/02/2023 01:45

I mean politics and other factors related to politics that don't really effect you in practice.