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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is Mumsnet a net negative or positive in your life?

91 replies

Neteffect · 03/02/2023 15:56

NC but I am a regular poster and I'm NOT dissing mumsnet at all.

I've had amazing advice on parenting issues and love Style & Beauty which is also a v friendly section. I was also 'peaked' by the sex and gender discussions.

But sometimes I feel dragged down by the relentless negative threads and the arguments, particularly on things like BF vs FF, child obesity, poverty and the attitude of 'race to the bottom etc.

I cant actually decide if, on a daily basis, mumsnet has a negative or positive effect on my life and mood! Tell me how you all feel please!

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 03/02/2023 15:59

Mumsnet doesn't really impact my life at all. I think if it's having that much impact on your life it might be time to take a break. Or at least just stop looking at the threads that are troubling you.

vodkaredbullgirl · 03/02/2023 16:01

I just take everything with a pinch of salt.

DashboardConfessional · 03/02/2023 16:04

I stay out of Relationships these days. Too many men getting away with being absolute cliché bad boyfriends and the women going "But maybe it's my fault he calls me x and y".

Original poster
Neteffect · 03/02/2023 16:06

It doesn't impact my life in the round but sometimes, if I scroll too much one day, I can feel the dip in mood.

Agree about relationships - it can make you feel like the world is populated with really awful men.

OP posts:
RandomUsernameHere · 03/02/2023 16:08

If it had a negative impact I just wouldn't ever use it

Notjusta · 03/02/2023 16:09

Neteffect · 03/02/2023 16:06

It doesn't impact my life in the round but sometimes, if I scroll too much one day, I can feel the dip in mood.

Agree about relationships - it can make you feel like the world is populated with really awful men.

I agree OP and I sometimes need to make myself step away. It certainly can have a doom scrolling effect.

magicscares · 03/02/2023 16:09

Bit of both. I’ve learnt some incredibly useful stuff around boundaries & what is acceptable from others (LTB type stuff that I didn’t grow up learning). Also there are some really funny people on here.
i find the doom & gloom threads about the terrible state of the UK depressing & not all that helpful.
It’s also quite addictive for me which isn’t helpful!

ilovesooty · 03/02/2023 16:09

RandomUsernameHere · 03/02/2023 16:08

If it had a negative impact I just wouldn't ever use it

Agreed. Nothing anyone says on here affects me much one way or the other.

HowcanIgetoutofthisalive · 03/02/2023 16:09

I agree OP.

There are days where threads can make me feel low so I don't come on for a couple of days.

Lykia · 03/02/2023 16:11

I enjoy browsing various threads. The holiday one in particular however what I can't stand are the Brits vs Europeans ones. Eg:

Brits drink more than Europeans - oh god we're so bad.
Brits dress badly compared to Europeans - every other Brit is wearing pyjamas to Tesco with their slug eyebrows.
Britain is hell whole cesspit compared to Europe/ROTW.

I mean what do these threads gain? Let's have a whinge fest and slate the UK - fine but what do they achieve?

And yes I do know that the UK is in Europe.

KangarooKenny · 03/02/2023 16:11

I think it’s generally a positive, but if I have those days where it’s dragging me down I walk away.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 03/02/2023 16:13

If you're starting to feel that it has a negative impact on your life, or that it might be having a negative impact, it's probably time to step away.

70sWasTheBestMusicEra · 03/02/2023 16:13

It's put me off men even more than my own shit relationships. Glad I'm single.

Original poster
Neteffect · 03/02/2023 16:14

I know you can step away but sometimes- to use an awful analogy- you can't stop looking at the car crash!

OP posts:
Lifelessordinary1 · 03/02/2023 16:14

I only ever go on when i am bored at work - i would never spend my own time on it - so overall its a benefit. Something that breaks up my day.

Warspite · 03/02/2023 16:16

I had to stop looking, esp the Relationships forum when I met some big challenges in my relationship. It did help my mood to take the break but before that it also helped me to deal with the nonsense I was faced with. All good now.

However, my goodness, it’s been a real revelation about the world(s) I had no idea about. Especially the struggles young parents are having. I’ve clearly led a sheltered life and sometimes it does make me worried about the worlds we live in and the awful stresses some people are having to endure. I take breaks quite often now.

On the whole I enjoy MN but try to look on it like a magazine. Lots of good articles, advice, gardening, health and beauty and so on and try to scroll by too much heavyweight stuff which has spawned hundreds of replies.

LanaCara · 03/02/2023 16:19

It can be a really negative place. I see people asking for advice, people give their advice, and then because people disagree with each other (I don't mean the OP), there's murder going on within a thread and the OP had done one 3 days ago and hasn't been back on. Wheres the sense? Some people are so argumentative and don't seem to be able to accept that people have different opinions. Some people I'd gladly punch and I've never been violent in my life 🤣 but does it impact my mood? Never, I see it as entertainment watching people be such idiots towards each other. Is it what MN is supposed to be for? I'd say no.

PennyToffee · 03/02/2023 16:20

I take it all with a huge pinch of salt. Some people are here for advice, some are here for a row, some are here to troll. Some are good people who give good advice and some are just fucking annoying.

It's easy to turn MN off if it gets to you though.

IglesiasPiggl · 03/02/2023 16:23

Overall positive, but I have hidden the boards that upset me, and often hide threads I'm on that have taken a nasty turn.

2crossedout1 · 03/02/2023 16:24

Positive! I'm a really positive person in general though. It's hard to drag me down.

ClippClopp · 03/02/2023 16:29

Probably averages out to neutral or possibly slightly positive.

Sometimes it is very negative - can waste far too much time and get over-invested in things. Then there is the disappointment/frustration of when a supportive thread turns sour when one poster turns up and saps all of the support/become draining and never offers any back (a bit like real life at times there!). I think I'm getting better at managing that though.

I've picked up some great tips/found out lots of interesting/useful stuff and it can be thought provoking.

TheGoogleMum · 03/02/2023 16:30

Generally I like itand find it a source of entertainment

FenghuangHoyan · 03/02/2023 16:30

I've quit here before as I thought it was mentally doing me more harm than good. Watching pile ons or reading people slagging each other off or seeing how hard some people are finding life and even worse seeing posts by people saying they were ending their lives and just wanted to put it in writing can be really difficult.

Yes you can avoid those threads, but sometimes curiosity / nosiness/ morbid obsession gets the better of me. I also think it can be very time consuming if you're not careful and I've a busy enough life and need to use tech less and not more. If I think this place is tipping back over into a net negative (which most social media tends to be) then I'll bin it again.

sjxoxo · 03/02/2023 16:32

I also find the BF vs FF a bit negative tbh; although i have asked questions about feeding myself so perhaps a bit hypocritical. Also the SAHM vs Working always descends into a bitch fest. I don’t bother with those threads anymore as you just know how it’ll go! X

vodkaredbullgirl · 03/02/2023 16:35

There are lots of topics I have hidden, as not interested in them.