to ask have I done something wrong ?

[peninkpaper]

NC
Friends for around 20 years. At times, we have literally been in each others pockets. December last year I changed jobs which came with quite a few more hours than my previous role but more money. This meant quite a bit less time to see my friend (or any friends, not just her, including family and my sister who I am v close to).

In December I joined (alone) a slimming club. I never told my friend about it or anyone else. Tbh, I was hoping to lose the weight in my own time and on my own without it turning into an event or competition with others. We had never talked about going together or anything like that. She got wind I was going and was like 'you never mentioned it', which was accompanied by a wtf look. I could tell she was miffed.

I feel the dynamics have changed a little since all this. No arguments or bad words but just feel something is a bit off. although I would never raise it with her.

I guess, you’ve withdrawn from the friendship and she doesn’t know why. Most people would assume it’s personal, even when it isn’t. If I were you, I’d try and prioritise her if the friendship is important to you. My sister and I are often very, very busy and have no time to meet up or have long phone calls. But it takes just a few minutes to write and post a card that says you’re thinking of her, sending flowers from an online retailer or a gift card. Even just sending a message with a photo of the two of you when you did something fun and saying “just found this photo - remember how much fun this was!”. It just makes clear there’s no issue between you, no animosity and no hostility. Even if you tell someone you’re busy and you genuinely are, it’s so constantly used as an excuse where there is a problem, it’s hard for people to actually be sure it’s true.

As a close friend she must be aware of your limited availability and why you're not on tap anymore, that's not the same as withdrawing from a friendship.

If joining clubs together would be how you usually do things I could understand her feeling a bit left out, but for most people it's not unusual to do things without running it past a friend first. So the wtf face being fair depends on what is your normal together.

If you've been friends for twenty years and she's chosen to distance herself rather than have a chat with you about feeling hurt and resolving it maturely, then she's being rather silly. It's how soap opera characters behave - all a bit pointless and dramatic.
A wee chat over a cuppa would clear the air and leave everyone happy.