Right to attend prom based on attendance at after school GCSE revision sessions- to think this sucks?

[MonitorL1zard]

It’s amazing that the school provides after school GCSE revision classes but is it fair to attach the right to go to prom to attendance at these?

Maybe you should examine your inner xenophobia? It makes you look small.

The idea that prom has to cost a fortune is just daft. Any parent that's willing to stump up £££ so their princess has the best dress/manicure/spray tan/hair extensions/limo needs to think really hard about what message they are sending their daughter. It really isn't the norm. The norm is to buy/hire a new frock/suit and have an evening eating pizza and dancing with your mates and trying to spike the punch. Pretty much like the 1980s leavers disco only with a photographer.

I wonder how many of these anti prom posters have DC at all or teenage DC.

I admit that I dislike the peer pressure of dresses that cost £££, fake tan, nails and eyelashes, loads of make up, fancy transport to get there etc. But I don't agree with the idea that these young people shouldn't have some kind of leaving bash.

DD isn't a fake tan and nails/expensive fancy dress kind of girl. Her boyfriend's dad took them to the school prom in his car. In year 13 I took them in my perfectly ordinary Ford Kuga.

@OngoingCrisis did "everyone" really show up just because there was pizza?
As many have said on here many teens leave school at the end of the day and go straight to after school jobs, picking up siblings, caring responsibilities or because they have simply had enough for the day and want to just go home.
Free pizza wouldn't make the slightest difference if that's their situation.

My yr11 would hate that. Has no intention of going to the prom but has started extra class after school for their weakest subject. It is a session full of those who want to learn as opposed to the regular classes which consist of a teacher shouting at the class to behave for most of the lesson. There is no setting in the school so the extra sessions are a chance to fill a few gaps. Everyone else going so they can go to the prom would be a disincentive for my child. If the children do not listen and pay attention in class I doubt they will after school.

The prom here really isn’t much different to the end of year discos we used to have.

im in my late 40s and remember the “what are you wearing?” convos back then. It’s really not that different.

The problem with so called “incentives” like this is that, much like attendance awards (days out and the likes rather than just a certificate I’m meaning), they directly punish the children who are already disadvantaged by their circumstances.

I think too often schools forget that children, even teens, aren’t the ones with the ultimate control of their attendance at things. And I say that as someone who worked in schools for 20 odd years so I’m supportive of school initiatives generally.

@YetMoreNewBeginnings exactly. It's deeply unfair to those who give their work 100% and are keen and enthusiastic about school but just literally cannot (because of circumstances beyond their control) stay for a longer school day.
Why should they get 'punished' for that?

Are you speaking from experience?

I ask because all of the kids I know in my children's years who were "done" with school (and there were a fair few of them) wanted to go to prom. In fact those kids who couldn't wait to get out and get on with their lives tended to also be the ones who went to the most weird and wonderful extremes with their prom entrances and put the most effort in.

Prom is hardly “Yankee”. They took it from our own such debutante balls of yesteryear. Like Halloween or Christmas they’ve turned it into a thing with a bunch more commercial junk attached but it’s not an American phenomenon by any means.. No more than Christmas is anyway.

That said, prom does tend to normalise coupling and heterosexual coupling in particular and is way past its sell by date.

@DontMakeMeShushYou yes I know several teens who weren't interested in prom (or any other end of year celebration).
For some teens that I know it would actually be hell for them to be in an environment like a prom.

@DontMakeMeShushYou I am quite surprised you have never met any teens with severe anxiety, asd, sensory issues, depression etc.
A child who struggles to make it through the school gates everyday due to severe anxiety is unlikely to suddenly be "yay prom".

Maybe it's a regional thing.
I'm in the North West and here it's not unusual to get dresses made by a dress maker who makes wedding dresses. It's the norm to spend half the day getting the hair and make up done.
I'm a few years older than you and yes we had the what are you wearing conversation but the answer to that question then would be very different now

I would expect a parent to be grateful that their school offers after school revision sessions rather than be moaning about them! Most of the schools with which I have been connected have offered after school revision sessions and/or, back in the day, coursework catch-up seesions, I also organised revision sessions during the Easter break.

@JudgeJ not all parents want to put their children through the high pressure of extra revision and longer school days. So no.. not all parents will be grateful for this.

Offering revision sessions is vastly different to essentially putting compulsory (or you punished) sessions in place.

On the contrary, I know quite a few teens with asd, anxiety, and other conditions that meant school was difficult but they all went to prom. That was why I was asking, because it seems to have been a pretty inclusive experience at my kid's school.

@DontMakeMeShushYou I think your school is quite unusual if every single pupil wanted to go to prom.
We will have to agree to disagree on that one I think.
As the mother of a child with Anxiety Based School Refusal (and other things) prom is one of the last things on her mind.
Also some children just simply aren't interested.
I wouldn't have been.

I'm not trying to disagree with you. I asked whether you were speaking from experience precisely because my experience was different. I've said all the way through my posts that I'm talking about the teens I know personally. I don't know whether every single child in the school year attended prom or not because I don't know every single one of them personally, but I am not aware of any who didn't.
I am sorry if your DD finds school a difficult place to be. That must be hard for all of you. I am lucky that my children haven't, and pleased that both of them try to help those who do struggle more.

@Needmorelego yes everyone did show up, it was the only way to get students to stay after school. They did the same thing with morning revision, bribed us with mcdonalds breakfast haha. People with other responsibilities were a minority when I was at school so I'm speaking from my own experience.

@DontMakeMeShushYou thanks. Yes not really a disagreement - just different experiences.
My daughter is at a SEN school now and really happy and enjoying it so thank you 🙂

@OngoingCrisis my secondary was very large so I doubt they would have got us all in even with the temptation of pizza.
My GCSE's were a long time ago. My year group was one of the last that legally if your birthday was between September and Easter you could leave at Easter.
Several from my year did. You could still turn up for the exams but for some it was "Bye, see you around" and then went off and got a job.
Then at May when the exams started we all went on study leave and didn't have to go into school except for exams.
I never saw some of my classmates again after that.
Times were different 😂

Neither of my ADHD DCs would have coped with after-school revision lesson after a full on day of school already. They revised beat at home on their own usually visual and physical methods (papers of revision spider charts plastered all around their bedrooms..!) that cannot be used in an organised revision session in a classroom

School cannot attach attendance at prom to criteria of attendance of voluntary outside school hours anything (including GCsE revision sessions) as it will have disproportionate impact on certain pupils and certain parents - On disabled or SEN pupils.
And also disadvantage lower income families who don't have a SAHP

@Needmorelego

I think that is a ridiculous attitude quite frankly. After school revision sessions are designed to support DC. An hour of extra work in the run up to vital exams is hardly slave driving.

I hope that attitude is not passed on to DC.

There is an awful lot of whataboutery on this thread.

Of course compulsory after school revision lessons aren't going to suit each and every single year 11 pupil, but the school must feel that it is in the best interests of their pupils or they wouldn't offer it. Nothing will ever suit all of the people all of the time

I doubt that the teachers are jumping with joy at the extra workload either.

The reason that many school don't offer study leave all the way through GCSE exams now is that they have been proved to provide a better outcome. In DD's case the pupils stayed at school because the only way to get to and from school was the school bus at the beginning and the end of the day.

However, I don't think barring the pupils from prom should be used as an incentive.

@Stackss do you not realise that for some children the act of just going to school is mentally exhausting.
Supporting mental health is much much more important than exams.
For some even an extra 15 minutes of school will be far to much as they have just struggled to cope for the previous 6 hours.