MIL set up online link with my DD photos without permission

[Lulubo1]

My MIL lives in Canada (where my DH is from) and our relationship has never been good.

My amazing DD is almost 7mths and I reluctantly send photos of her in our family WhatsApp group, so they can see her grow from afar. DH side of the family never respond or say anything when I do. They will respond about other things (sports) or about BIL's DS. His side of the family will never ask about DD or how she is doing, but will ask about BIL's DS and fawn over him. (Good to point out that DH does not have a great relationship with his parents. They treat him so so badly, it breaks my heart. They play favourites with their kids and he is not the favourite).

Well, I just found out that my MIL has been uploading all the pictures (from WhatsApp) of DD onto an online link and sending the photos to people they know! BIL was aware and thought we knew!! She has been doing this without our knowledge or permission and I'm livid. I want to ask her to take all the photos down. I want to control where the photos of my DD are online and who sees them, and now I have lost that control. She didn't even tell us, but the rest of DH family knows about it! AIBU and she's being a "normal proud grandma", or can I insist she takes the photos down immediately?

You can ask, she can either say yes or no. If she says no, you don’t send her any more pics.

Did you make it completely clear when sharing the pics that you didn't want them shared on social media/with randoms? If not, make it very clear now and don't share any other pics.

I would be annoyed but where she has uploaded these too, is it secure and who is she sharing them with? If one photo is shared can the person see all the photos? Is it just immediate family?

It’s not ideal but if it’s secure and just the people from the watsapp I would be annoyed but would maybe let it slide with a reminder you don’t want other people to access these and it’s for MIL / BIl only etc.

I would be fuming if it was a random friend of a friend being able to access them.

Worse case open access on the internet (hopefully not)!!

Yeah, we did. We said when she arrived that all photos are for family only and not to be shared or put on social media. I'd like to think she forgot, but knowing my MIL... She's decided to do what she wants to do. I won't be sharing any more photos, that's for sure

Oh well, going forward, it will be up to your husband to keep his family updated.

She still hasn't shared the link with us, so I don't know where the photos are (praying it's not open access!!) DH has asked for the link, but no one has responded yet. I also don't know who has access or who has been sent the link.

Don't send anymore photos.
When they ask, tell them why.
End of.

If they treat you and your DH bad in general as you say about favourites just remove yourself from the group.
Far too much hassle

Use a couple of the photos on the google app and they’ll show up if it’s open.

I think there's a bit of a generational divide. I'm not a big social media user and I find it hard navigating the unsaid social rules. From my (older) perspective it seems odd that you would upload eg a picture of the meal you had in your local gastro pub, but people do, and people comment. Likewise selfies, so not me and OH at Xs wedding but me in the bathroom pouting. ...so my interpretation is your very open and share everything (you have 500+ FB friends).....but....if someone at the seaside accidentally has your kids head in a pic....ah! It doesn't make sense to me, so there's a good chance she didn't know so here's a suggestion...speak with her. Better still let OH speak with her assuming he feels the same way. If he doesn't that makes things awkward.
BTW, I doubt she has been sharing with randoms as such but it might include her hairdresser and Brenda's daughter who you don't know. Is your objection about who she's sharing with or thst she didn't 'seek your permission '?

as it should always have been.