Work and parenthood: high autonomy, high responsibility? Fewer responsibilities, less freedom?

[AppelationStation]

I've got a choice to make about work. I have two choices:

1. Get promoted in current job (no promotion not an option), responsibility for the whole shebang, little support, but left to get on with it, organise my own time, decide my own aims etc.

1. Take another job. Narrower role, managed a bit more closely, more technical specialist than manager. Infrastructure and systems to make things easier ,more teamwork and colleagues.

I have a 7yr old DS. Money is roughly the same. I am also the main bread winner I the household.

WWYD?8

Thanks.

I don't think anyone can answer this for you, it depends on what your short term and long term priorities are and your own preferences.

The narrower role sounds like it might be more comfortable in the shorter term, but the first role seems like it has more responsibility/autonomy and therefore better long term career progression, which may be more important if you're the primary breadwinner. I would take the first role if it were me, but then I don't like being managed too closely and I don't have any kids so could happily focus on a more difficult role.

Option 2 if money is similar. For me as a manager, people become my biggest problem. I manage them well and sort any issues out, but I feel my time would be best spent on technical work rather than people issues at times. So it would be a no brainer for me.

Genuinely, what do YOU want to do?
Everyone is different. I chose to advance my career, possibly (at the time) at the expense of my children. It worked out well, but that was us.
My dc are now 19, 17, 15. They are all moving on in their own lives, which is great. But you need something for yourself when they alk move on.i have a fantastic relationship with my kids , really actually surprised by how much they talk to me, compared to how I talked to my mum. They also have a work ethic, which is something I wanted fir them.

In my experience, the more senior you are, the more you are able to work flexibly around the needs of your family. You have to work very hard, of course, and the responsibility can be very stressful. But you also get more control of your schedule and you have greater leverage to be able to negotiate whatever you need.

So personally, I would go with option 1 in your situation. I have found that, the higher up the chain I go, the easier it is to get the balance that I want...you still have to be ready to put the work in, obviously, but it's much easier to do it on your own terms.

Thanks for the reasoned responses.

The best choice for my career would be to stay where I am. I think I've got the fear and am fantasising about an easier life!

My current job is a start up where everything single process, policy, person and £ are created from scratch by me or they don't exist. It's a great opportunity to grow skills but a bit of a head bender at times. It's gone well and we're about to become a much bigger organisation, and I'm slightly crapping myself tbh.

Don't know if I could go back to just logging on and doing the work I'm given now. But on stressful days it feels appealing.

DH does a very skilled manual, creative job and I'm super jealous. Sadly his income is pretty pants (but he's the happiest person I know).

What's the long term goal? Ok bit daft to ask... Most people want a decent quality of life (good enough money to not stress and a job that's not too stressful and they can balance with home and family life)....If DH will never earn more and you have youngish DC what does your financial future planning look like? Kids get expensive as teens and if Uni is on the cards there is that too. Are you chucking enough away in a pension? I ask because option 1 likely leads to another promotion (even if it's too another company) option 2 is a stand still... Will you need another promotion in a few years or is this it for you? Also are you good and management or do you struggle and find it stressful. Middle management phase is always tricky carter wise of course so if you do this try to get up and out as soon as possible. I'd u do go for option 1 insist on properly resourced admin support and hire someone good.