Asking for more money… but feel ungrateful.

[Whoevenwhat]

So I have been offered a job that pays 13k more than I am currently on. I love my current job, everyone is really supportive and has helped me to grow and progress. But I would like them to increase my salary to somewhere close to my offer.

I have a meeting next week to discus.

But I feel like I am being ungrateful, I am being greedy , I am lucky to have this job in the first place etc

how do I have this conversation?? Thank Ve already told them about the offer btw, just want to take it all back now and carry on as normal !
AIBU?

I am being ungrateful, I am being greedy , I am lucky to have this job in the first place

Would a man think like this?

You have skills that the market will compensate as a business transation. It's not a charity cause (you).

You really need to figure out why you are responding this way.

So this is why woman end up being paid less than men doing the same job. You are clearly worth more - another company can see that. Go in and say you are obviously loyal to your current employer, but have an offer of £13k more on the table from x company. Can they match it?

if £13k more is the going rate, they’ll end up paying that for someone else.

you are not being ungrateful, they are underpaying you. Change your mindset. They are lucky to have you, not the other way round.

Be honest. Tell them what you said in your first paragraph.

Take the guilt out of it- of someone else wants to pay you that much more then it suggests your current salary is below what you are worth.

They can either give you a raise or not. If they refuse you can then decide what to do.

I voted YABU but I mean that you are unreasonable to feel ungrateful. What is stopping you from taking the other job? It is quite normal to ask for a salary matched to one you’ve been offered. Remember with work it’s never personal, you asking for more is because you could get that, it’s strictly professional, don’t worry about upsetting people.

So another company value you enough from an interview to pay you £13k more than you’re on

and you think you’re being greedy by giving your current employer the opportunity to pay you what you deserve?

It is not ungrateful to advocate for a fair salary for your work.
work is a mutual exchange

You only gain in salary by moving jobs. Never let your old employer counter offer

Why were you applying for a new job in the first place? Something must have been amiss. No need to feel guilty.

You are clearly worth £13k more because a company is willing to pay it. It’s that simple. You aren’t a charity. You are a professional, offering skills to help a business profit. Your skills have a market value. That’s not greed! Stop letting yourself be underpaid!

Why would you not negotiate, you're worth the market rate plus extra if you're moving. It pisses me off when mostly women don't negotiate.

They are being greedy for not paying you the market rate!

I'm grateful for my job and lucky to have it.
I recently asked for a raise based on increased workload, I didn't ask for a certain amount but my employer's offer was exactly what I was hoping for, and over 15% better than my earlier wage. I wasn't asking for a handout when I asked for a raise, I asked for compensation for my time and skills.

Asking for more money… but feel ungrateful. ...said no man ever!