Taking dependents leave after only 4 weeks of employment?

[YoungMouse]

I've worked for my current company for 4 weeks. Very supportive management. My son is home with a stomach bug. I'm sat on the sofa with him trying to get on with work but it's proving difficult. I have the option to take unpaid leave, it's in my contract, but it feels wrong taking leave after only being there for 4 weeks. They're fine with me working whilst he is home with me but it's proving difficult and I'm close to tearing my hair out. WIBU this early in my employment to ask for 2 days of dependents leave? He can't go back for 48 hours so that'll take us to Monday.

Sorry to hear that your son is unwell. It would seem the obvious solution that your son’s father take time off his work ( assuming that you are sharing parenting with him ).

I think if there is anyway their father can help this is the time for him to step in. Alternatively can you work after yous ds has gone to bed or early before he wakes up. Bit knackering for 48 hours but it will be over soon and better than asking for unpaid leave so soon.

How old is you son?

His dad isn't around. Working after he's gone to bed isn't really possibly as I work 8 hour shifts and he goes to bed at 7:30. He's just turned 4 in January.

If you were my manager would you think I was taking the piss?

Not taking the piss as such, but wondering how this would work long term. Kids tend to get a fair few bugs when they start school so there's the potential for lots of leave.

Doe he go to a wrap around childcare? I use a CM who says as long as not D&V she doesn't mind having poorly kids sofa surf at hers if necessary. Not ideal, bit handy for the days where they aren't quite ready to go back but not still actually poorly.

Yes I’m afraid I would. I wouldn’t say so of course but I would worry about your reliability. You really need to think about a backup plan. Family, friends?

My mum always takes him and I have friends who would too but not whilst he has a bad d&v bug. It's the first time in 4 years he's ever had a vomiting bug. I've worked full time since I was 22 and I'm early 30s now and since he was born I've never had to take time off for his sickness. I'm a lone parent and it's really hard. I hate the idea of people thinking I'm unreliable.

Oh well then that's fine - as long as there's a plan in place for general illness, I'd just say to the boss "please don't be concerned, I have adequate cover for general illness, just with utilities being D&V I can't risk sending him elsewhere. Rare enough that this shouldn't present an issue"

I mean if my friend asked me to have their kid whilst they had a cold I would be totally fine with it but d&v I would have to say no. Its just unfortunate timing in that I have started a new job!

Arsen alba is a homeopathic remedy which the boots chemist recommended for my son when he was 4 as he was too young for other medicine. This and diarylte to replace electrolytes.
But honestly, I would be concerned if he is that sick that you expect him to constantly be on the toilet or vomiting for 2 days and need to take time off work for 2 days to assist him. If he is that sick you would need medical attention to avoid him becoming dehydrated. So if I was your work place I would be wondering how true this is if I am honest with you.

@ittakes2 kids and adults can’t go back to work or school until they are 48hours clear of symptoms. I don’t think the op is expecting her son to be physically I’ll all that time.

Having an exhausted sick child at home who is only 4 years old consists of much more than just helping him to the toilet and cleaning sick bowls.

As a manager I'd trust you to take emergency / parental leave today and then hope you'd be able to work a bit more tomorrow but understand if you can't.

I would though like you to think through how you will manage future illnesses and what cover you have in place - you mention your Mum and that's great but most school illnesses are contagious so it's a challenge.

Life happens and a good work place gets that

Can’t you just push on through and accept these few days might not be your stellar best?

Things being a bit tricky really isn’t justification for taking time off work imo. I’d only be doing so if I were literally unable to work (at hospital ward at bedside of very sick child for example)

As a new employee, all eyes are on you atm, and you haven’t built up any reserves of goodwill. I’d be thinking very carefully about what impression I was making if I were you.

These things happen. Ofcourse it isn't taking the piss. I'm sure they will be understanding. Just say uh tried but he needs ur attention it's impossible to give ur work ur full attention as he is too unwell. Taking the piss is if ur taking time off all the time, for various different reasons. I know it's hard if u have just started somewhere but honestly I'm sure they'll be fine and if not I are entitled to it anyway.

I’d rather you ask for leave than try and soldier on WFH.

I’d see it as a positive, that you are honest. If you were wfh but doing nothing and not speaking up then I’d potentially not be impressed.

So you accept that it's a challenge with contagious illnesses but would want me to tell you as my manager what cover I will have in place when I have no idea when my child is going to be ill?

After speaking to my manager I'm glad I work where I do as she was amazing, and told me about how when she first started she had to do exactly the same. She said I can either make the time up when he's better so I get paid, take annual leave (but I don't have any to take so not an option), but that she really recommended I took dependents leave as that's what it is there for. Even said she's not been as impressed by a new starter hired externally than she has by me and that she's not worried about this in the slightest (OK, feel like I'm blowing my own trumpet now but it's just made me realise that my organisation clearly value their staff!).