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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To complain about the lolly pop lady

264 replies

Morph22010 · 02/02/2023 09:48

I have to drive ds to school about 10 miles away as he’s austistic and at specialist. No other viable way to get him there, we get a transport budget paid from council. I drive through a large village on way, not an alternative route. There is a school with a zebra crossing and lolly pop lady, have never really noticed much before just stopped when needed to then on my car. There’s been a new one there about 3 months and she crosses people across then if anyone is walking down road she’ll wait in road until thry get there then they cross as well. This is meaning the traffic can start to back up so there’s more of a wait in a queue than there used to be. There was a queue this morning, was in it maybe 7 mins then stopped again at crossing. Now the bit that’s annoyed me is that the parents were crossing back across the road and one had stopped and they’ve had a conversation in middle of the road, only about an extra 30 seconds but there were huge queues both ways. She seems a great lolly pop lady for getting people across the road but Aibu in thinking they should have some regard at least to the flow of traffic? My mornings are quite stressful anyway due to ds so I’m probably letting this stress me out more unduly

OP posts:
Emotionalsupportviper · 02/02/2023 12:12

I wouldn't complain as such, but perhaps you could speak to her and ask if she could wait until there was actually someone at the kerb before she stopped the traffic so that it didn't build up so much - and also if she could discourage people from having conversations in the middle of the road (this would annoy me more than the early stoppages TBH). Alls she has to do if anyone stops is say "Can you move onto the pavement, please."

I'm sure she would be open to your POV, especially if you explain that your DS is autistic etc. She will have no idea how it impacts on you - she's not a mind reader and if no-one tells her, she won't know.

I think that to complain about her when she is just trying to do her job to the best of her ability seems very unfair.

ladymacbeth · 02/02/2023 12:14

We have one like this. Walks into the road for every single person who wants to cross. Good ones gather up the kids/parents in small groups then does it! Not each person individually. Winds me right up as it's just daft and inefficient!

Cait33 · 02/02/2023 12:15

I feel your pain OP. We have one like this too (also a lady but saying nothing there!). She stands in the road when the kids are getting off the bus 200m away and holds up traffic for ages. Drives me mad.

Yes, they do a great job but they need to keep traffic flowing as well as get kids safely across the road. It's about balance. But then this is Mumsnet so it's actually about being as polarised in one direction as humanly possible 🙈

AllOutofEverything · 02/02/2023 12:16

Stopping traffic is dangerous. She will have been taught this is the safest way to do her job.

AllOutofEverything · 02/02/2023 12:17

The role of a lollipop lady is to provide the safest way for people to cross the road, not to keep traffic flowing. Those who do it in a different way to keep traffic flowing are going against the safest way to do the job promoted at least in some areas.

NatM15588 · 02/02/2023 12:18

Im a school crossing patroller in scotland and we are told at training to have the traffic stopped as children are nearing the crossing because some of them will just run out on the road. Also we have to cross everyone not just children which gets me daily abuse when I am just trying to do my job or as pp said some people drive right by me while im in the middle of the road.

Everanewbie · 02/02/2023 12:22

I YANBU OP. I think a lot of posters have read the words: lollipop lady, zebra crossing, traffic, children, complain" and have just leapt on you. How dare you complain about someone ensuring children's safety?!?!

If the pedestrians are 50 metres up the road and no one currently crossing, of course its ridiculous to wait 45 seconds in the middle of the road for he pedestrians to reach the crossing. Pointless for the pedestrian as they're nowhere near ready to cross, and a needless hold up for road users. Heck, why not just close off the road entirely?

Yes, a lollipop lady has the job of seeing children across the road safely, and if you always run late you should leave earlier, I get all that. But it does sound like the lollipop lady could just have some thought towards traffic flow when it won't detriment anyone's safety at all.

In answer to your question, maybe a carefully written sensitive letter might be a good idea, but be careful not to come across like Jeremy Clarkson or pass on the blame for your own lateness.

GoodChat · 02/02/2023 12:25

It's a zebra crossing so the flow of traffic would be very similar whether she was there or not. Just be patient and glad the children are crossing safely.

Duckingella · 02/02/2023 12:26

A staff member was hit and died on the zebra crossing outside of my children's primary school;I witnessed on many occasions people ignoring the zebra crossing ;so many near misses.Crossing patrol people save lives;literally.I wish my kids school had one.

ChateauMargaux · 02/02/2023 12:26

I have just trained as a volunteer for my local school (not UK) and we have been advised that it is better to wait for people to cross and then let the traffic flow rather than to stop and start frequently..

Maybe stand in the road one day and see how it feels, she probably feels the fury of every car driver she stops and was grateful for a friendly chat.

stayathomer · 02/02/2023 12:30

The lies in this thread! Of course you shouldn’t get stressed by people stopping to chat IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD when you’re on a schedule. In real life they’d be muttering away like the rest of us. I adore lollipop ladies, and our local one is epic. I don’t think you should complain, but solidarity from someone who gets stuck at two schools getting my older children to secondary in the morning. (And people saying op just needs to get more organised etc, well done you for being perfect!!)

Emotionalsupportviper · 02/02/2023 12:33

NatM15588 · 02/02/2023 12:18

Im a school crossing patroller in scotland and we are told at training to have the traffic stopped as children are nearing the crossing because some of them will just run out on the road. Also we have to cross everyone not just children which gets me daily abuse when I am just trying to do my job or as pp said some people drive right by me while im in the middle of the road.

Thank you. I wasn't aware of this (the stopping as children are getting near the crossing), but actually it's pretty obvious as a safety measure.

CatkinToadflax · 02/02/2023 12:33

Our lollipop lady is lovely and very efficient. She was recently in tears at the side of the road when I walked past with my dog because a few minutes earlier a bloke had wound down his window and verbally abused her for stopping him, shouting at her that she stopped him every morning and that she clearly didn't like his face! No-one ever deserves to be abused like that.

We had a stand-in lollipop lady recently and I noticed her moving into the road with her lollipop to stop the traffic when there were absolutely no pupils or parents in sight (I was further up the road on the other side with my dog). It turned out that she was stopping the traffic to cross herself over the road, rather than just waiting for a gap in the traffic like other adults do! I found that a little odd, to be honest.

OP I agree with you. Stopping for a yabber in the middle of the road with the parents isn't OK. Having said that, she's also doing an important job in all weathers so I'm not sure I'd want to complain.

Everanewbie · 02/02/2023 12:33

GoodChat · 02/02/2023 12:25

It's a zebra crossing so the flow of traffic would be very similar whether she was there or not. Just be patient and glad the children are crossing safely.

I understand what you are saying, and if all was working well, thats what you'd have but with extra visibility and supervision thanks the the lollipop lady, which is great.

But the way I interpreted OPs post is that the lady is stopping traffic when the pedestrians are still quite a long way away from the crossing and also allowing a certain amount of dilly dallying. So I think the end result is a far less free flowing situation.

I don't think OP suggests safety should be compromised to keep cars moving, but if there is no-one there, lollipop lady shouldn't be stood in the road anticipating peoples arrival or carrying on a conversation in the road when not assisting anyone.

girlfriend44 · 02/02/2023 12:36

Heard it all now complaining about a lollipop lady. Yabu.

Frabbits · 02/02/2023 12:38

AllOutofEverything · 02/02/2023 12:16

Stopping traffic is dangerous. She will have been taught this is the safest way to do her job.

In what universe is stopping to have a chat in the middle of the road safe?

melj1213 · 02/02/2023 12:39

How do you know she was stopped for a 'chat'? Maybe there was an important piece of information being relayed to her? From a concerned parent, a message from a member of staff, It could be anything. You don't know.

Whatever the discussion was about - whether it's passing the time of day or state secrets directly from the Prime Minister, it does not need to happen on the middle of the road!

QuertyGirl · 02/02/2023 12:40

"the traffic must flow"

No, sometimes it must stop. Pedestrians have right away.

The hierarchy of responsibility should help:

www.rac.co.uk/drive/advice/legal/new-highway-code-rules-what-you-need-to-know/

AllOutofEverything · 02/02/2023 12:41

Emotionalsupportviper · 02/02/2023 12:33

Thank you. I wasn't aware of this (the stopping as children are getting near the crossing), but actually it's pretty obvious as a safety measure.

Show quote history

Agreed this is what they are taught to do. Those not doing that to keep the flow of traffic going are in the wrong.

Everanewbie · 02/02/2023 12:42

QuertyGirl · 02/02/2023 12:40

"the traffic must flow"

No, sometimes it must stop. Pedestrians have right away.

The hierarchy of responsibility should help:

www.rac.co.uk/drive/advice/legal/new-highway-code-rules-what-you-need-to-know/

Yes, you're right, but sometimes its completely unnecessary for traffic to be stopped as no one is crossing or very near to crossing and conversations should be had on the pavement.

AllOutofEverything · 02/02/2023 12:42

stayathomer · 02/02/2023 12:30

The lies in this thread! Of course you shouldn’t get stressed by people stopping to chat IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD when you’re on a schedule. In real life they’d be muttering away like the rest of us. I adore lollipop ladies, and our local one is epic. I don’t think you should complain, but solidarity from someone who gets stuck at two schools getting my older children to secondary in the morning. (And people saying op just needs to get more organised etc, well done you for being perfect!!)

I would be irritated by the build up of traffic. But I also know this is what they are taught to do for safety.

chaosmaker · 02/02/2023 12:42

Blackfleece · 02/02/2023 10:48

The crossing patrol person isn't doing their job correctly and I would send a fairly casual email to the school, or ring the office. A quick Google came up with guidance from an LA for school crossing patrols and includes this, which is pretty standard:
"The SCP must remain in the centre of the carriageway with their sign clearly displayed until
everyone has cleared the crossing. Whilst in the road the patrol should continue to check around
for more pedestrians and approaching vehicles where relevant. They must not hold up traffic while
waiting for children to arrive at the crossing point. When returning to the pavement, the sign must
still be held upright. Drivers who have been waiting should be thanked for their patience."

Why do drivers need to be thanked? I just want to get on with my journey. Same at crossings. Don't need people to wave thanks when they are crossing and don't when I am crossing on one. It is just doing what you're meant to do.

AllOutofEverything · 02/02/2023 12:43

@Everanewbie They are not allowed to have conversations on the pavement in case the children run into the road.

benten54 · 02/02/2023 12:44

God on a bike. I mean seriously, complaining about a lollipop vulva owner....

Everanewbie · 02/02/2023 12:45

AllOutofEverything · 02/02/2023 12:43

@Everanewbie They are not allowed to have conversations on the pavement in case the children run into the road.

So do you really think its reasonable to stand in the middle of the road, while 50 cars are queuing behind to have a conversation? Really? I really am not hating on lollipop ladies here, but surely some common sense and consideration isn't much to ask?

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