Sorry for posting in Aibu, but wanted as many responses as possible.
A stoma was created for (at the time) a 47 year old male.
He was unwell for quite some time prior to his diagnosis of a perforated bowel.
He had lost significant weight (down to less than 6.5 stone) and on final admission to hospital he was suffering sepsis.
As well as the op to create the stoma, he had three ops to drain two fistulas.
So last year his surgeon offered him a reversal as well as a parastomal hernia repair.
I mention the hernia, because although his surgeon described it as “small”, it does impact badly the mental health of the person I’m describing.
when the original stoma was created and saved his life, he was in no fit state to make a decision to have the surgery as such… it was more a case of do or die.
Thankfully now, he is back up to his pre illness normal for him weight.
He suffers from depression re how his body looks now.
when he changes his bag and exposes his stoma opening he obviously does this privately.
However, very often I will know when he’s done it, because his whole being “slumps” from looking at his body, and in his words feels disgusting.
His problem now, is that although he is waiting to be called up for the reversal he’s longed for since he came home, he is so frightened of possible negative outcomes.
Outcomes such as poor (he regularly does his pelvic specific exercises) control over bowel movements, and further threat of another hernia, as well as fear of the op itself which isn’t a short procedure at all.
I’ve told him that whether he goes ahead or decides not to, I’ll support that.
I do believe he wants it, but is understandably terrified.
it would be so useful to him to hear of others experience of their reversal and coping with that life since.
apologiies for long post….
thsnks to all those who trouble to reply