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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In-laws on social media

16 replies

Singmesomethingnew · 01/02/2023 23:42

Are yours, on yours?

Mil added me years ago and I felt I couldn’t say no..now I have them all on there..Sil etc 🙄I have to remember to put posts and stories on the settings to exclude them, if I forget, I see mil and sil viewing them literally straightaway and one after the other. It creeps me out, wish I didn’t have them on at all, mil comments on every single photo/post I do..

OP posts:
RedToothBrush · 01/02/2023 23:48

Facebook is for friends I don't see regularly. I have a strict rule of no family and no local friends. I can contact them by other means which is more appropriate.

I have people who have tried to add me and I say nothing personal but I have a rule on this to avoid issues.

Original poster
Singmesomethingnew · 01/02/2023 23:48

Why do the majority think i’m unreasonable..they’re nosey af..! and sadly, not nice people really.

OP posts:
Puffykins · 01/02/2023 23:48

My MIL stalks me but never comments or likes anything. I know that she stalks me though because she screenshot's everything I post and puts it on the family Whatsapp group that I'm not on, but DH is. Sometimes she screenshots my photos of the DC on my (private) Instagram account and shares them to her (not private) Facebook account. She then pretends, when I see her, that she knows nothing about my life. And occasionally rants about how much she hates social media. She also hates me, incidentally - or at least strongly dislikes me.

Original poster
Singmesomethingnew · 01/02/2023 23:48

Oh wait..wrong way round 😅

OP posts:
Original poster
Singmesomethingnew · 01/02/2023 23:50

@Puffykins God, that’s so wrong.
Mine stalk me too..you just know, don’t you..I suspect one sees stories etc (Mil or sil) then tells the other one..I couldn’t be less interested to see theirs

OP posts:
Forgetaboutme · 01/02/2023 23:52

I have mine as friends on fb. I dont really mind. They actually aren't as judgemental as my own dad is. Therefore I sometimes change settings so he cant see. Never so in laws cant see. My mil also comments on all my posts but she only has about ten friends on fb so its hardly surprising.

Olidora · 01/02/2023 23:52

I get on really well with childrens partners…nothing to hide and they are happy that I get a chance to see what everyone up to …all ok here .

Hups · 01/02/2023 23:53

I don't have any family, his or mine on any of my social media.
I don't do group WhatsApp either.
Plus I have them locked down tighter than a gnats arse so they can't even find me on them.

GrandTheftWalrus · 01/02/2023 23:54

Dh has my parents on his fb but he barely posts anything. Obviously my family is on mine, I used to have them all hidden until I got pregnant with my 1st dd.

When I was with exh I had my mil on my fb and whatever I posted she text or called my ex to ask about it. So she got deleted.

Original poster
Singmesomethingnew · 01/02/2023 23:56

@GrandTheftWalrus Yes! Mil does that in a round about way with Dh..creeps me out, hence why I have to remember to hide them all when I post stories etc

OP posts:
maddy68 · 01/02/2023 23:59

You know you can send take a break. Then You are technically friends but they don't see anything. If they query it just say you don't use it often

GrandTheftWalrus · 02/02/2023 00:01

@Singmesomethingnew it really annoyed me. I didn't know at the time I could restrict her so just deleted as it was easier. I only stopped hiding my family when pregnant so they could see updates etc and obviously when baby was born.

coodawoodashooda · 02/02/2023 00:02

RedToothBrush · 01/02/2023 23:48

Facebook is for friends I don't see regularly. I have a strict rule of no family and no local friends. I can contact them by other means which is more appropriate.

I have people who have tried to add me and I say nothing personal but I have a rule on this to avoid issues.

What issues?

saraclara · 02/02/2023 00:05

I don't have any family other than one daughter, on FB. It's for people who I don't see often and/or who live far away. I also never had any colleagues on there. I'm a compartmentaliser. I share different things with different people in my life. Trying to have three different levels of information for different friends would be hideously complicated.

JudgeRudy · 02/02/2023 00:55

Singmesomethingnew · 01/02/2023 23:48

Why do the majority think i’m unreasonable..they’re nosey af..! and sadly, not nice people really.

I still don't quite understand FB etiquette. A uyoung family member chastised me about looking at someone profile page snd commenting on a photo. She said it would look as if I was going through his posts. I agreed and said yes I was, isn't that the idea of publicly displaying stuff, because you want people to look/interact? But it seems we have to pretend we're not looking....I think!?
I don't post much but when i do anyone can see. If there was only one or a small srlect group of people l wanted to share with I wouldn't post on FB.
I think it's odd to say you don't want them to know your business,then invite them to do so.

ItWasntMyFault · 02/02/2023 08:01

How to stop them seeing what you post:

smallbusiness.chron.com/hide-things-certain-people-facebook-29815.html

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