Drinking 100 units a week

[Mrspoopoohead]

Posting for traffic my DP drinks at least this much every week, drinks daily I wondered if anyone else is in same boat and wants to rant.

My DH drinks a bottle of wine every night.
Before Xmas we had crisis talks and he said he would never drink again. It lasted 3 nights.
Then he said he was doing dry January, he didn’t manage one night.
But he says he’s not an alcoholic, just reliant on alcohol 🙄

100 units a week, wow.

You could argue he's definitely a functioning alcoholic, might be worth watching Adrian Chile's documentary on drinking from around 6-8 years ago if it's still on iPlayer. A lot of people become desensitised to what they are consuming regularly, your DP is drinking himself Into an early grave. I'd expect his weight to be an issue already, diabetes high risk and liver damage too. Not to mention the mental health impact also. I would not put up with this, shape up or shop out, sounds like he needs professional help though.

Have you got children and a house together?

The advice is no more than 14 units a week: www.drinkaware.co.uk/facts/alcoholic-drinks-and-units/low-risk-drinking-guidelines

Your DH is an alcoholic. Can he admit that?

I’m a child of an alcoholic who ruined my childhood. I have my own issues around drink too. It’s very hard to stop, even if you recognise the problem, because alcohol is a safe place for some- it numbs you, or lets you feel an emotion you’ve been struggling with. But the first step is for him to realise he has an issue, that issue needs to be dealt with without shame. Shame makes people refer to their ‘comfort’ (alcohol) in secret, and it doesn’t help. I saw this with my MIL. It’s gets to a point where you can only function for so long. I’ve never drank anywhere near 100 units p/w or everyday, but I’ve recognised when I had an escalating problem. He might be a bit beyond having acknowledgment as a cure, deep down he probably knows he has an issue but can’t admit it elsewhere (like many alcoholics). He need admit it then seek active help in the near future, I.e soon, when he feels comfortable.

Wow. That’s a huge amount.

You might need to do more than rant

It is a huge huge amount. My partner drinks that much, probably more, at least a bottle of wine a day, usually an end of the evening whisky too, but he seems healthy. He swims and runs. His liver is fine, normal BP, normal cholesterol, normal weight. I find it bewildering. When he has health check ups I always want it to show up something awful, to shock him into changing his behaviour, but it never does. He doesn't get drunk each night, because his body is used to it. We watched the Adrian Chiles documentary together... with a bottle of wine. 🤪😭

Am on my phone and not sure how to link, but if you look in Ask Me Anything, there's a thread from someone who has terminal cirrhosis. They're only 38 and drank heavily in their 20s. You should get your dh to read it.

@Geilenk it can catch up on you though. I always wondered how both of my parents could drink 100 plus units a week and still have good liver function tests etc. My dad was working, fit and healthy and then he wasn’t! It came on very quickly and he died within 6 months of feeling off colour. His post Mortem uncovered all sorts of issues, many of which were drink related. You would have thought this would be the wake up that my mum needed too but it wasn’t. She actually increased her intake and eventually also died young. My dad was 59 and my mum 68 so not an old age. It’s a ticking time bomb.

However, going from 100 plus to 14 units is not doable for people dependant on drink unless you have extremely good willpower and are prepared to go through some very uncomfortable days. Generally you need lots of help and support and have to want to do it. A better goal is to go from say 100 to 70, then throw in a drink free day where you do something else to take the persons mind of it. Then reduce from 70 to 50 etc. I think Chiles still drinks around 25 units a week and that’s what he admits to!

I still drink too but have managed to her from 50-20 ish a week and after what happened to both my parents, I should really cut it out completely!

Having said that, some people would argue they don’t give a shit and if they die young then they die young. I know diabetics who still scoff chocs and cake. You know you shoildnt but can’t seem to help it!

If this is true your DP needs help. Why do you just want to rant?
This is very serious for his/ her health, and the impact on everyone else close to him/her.

You didn't cause it
You can't control it
You can't cure it

Put all your finances in order, hide the car keys and don't get pregnant.

Leave

Does he drive?

As mentioned upthread- there is a current AMA on here re liver cirrhosis. Wishing you the best Op x