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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Class assembly

13 replies

holbolbol · 01/02/2023 21:25

I posted here a few weeks ago about my daughter not being collected from school and everyone was really lovely and supportive.

Tomorrow is her class assembly in the morning. I received a call from the class teacher saying her dad had phoned up to say that he won't be in the same room as me and can the school split the assembly for us with one watching the first part and the other watching the second ten mins. Teacher was v apologetic (as was I) and said it's not something they get involved in which I completely understand. She said they'd sent him a text telling him this.

Half an hour later, I received another call from the DSL saying he'd been in touch again following the message. She was obviously just trying to make sure everyone was happy but I said it's a shame he won't be in the same room, but he's a 40 year old man and it's up to him to decide whether or not that's more important than watching DD's assembly as I wasn't going to split the time as I'm perfectly capable of being civil. She got a bit shirty with me then and I've been worrying about it all night. I hate putting the staff in this position but I don't want to pander to do.

Would be grateful for thoughts cos I've been tying myself in knots all evening.

OP posts:

OutDamnedSpot · 01/02/2023 21:27

You’re not putting the staff in any position. He is. I’m amazed they even asked you tbh. Just reiterate that you have no issue with being in the same room as him and that you’re intending to stay for the whole assembly.

Letthecarhuntbegin · 01/02/2023 21:28

He is being a ridiculous entitled sod. You stick to your guns.

JJJSchmidt · 01/02/2023 21:31

You obviously are 100% entitled to be there for the whole time however what do you think that your ex could do at school - being especially mindful that this would be in front of dd and her whole class which could be really upsetting for her. If he's all mouth then definitely just leave it. If he could kick off then i'd call staff and agree a plan for if he starts to make a scene.

GoldilockMom · 01/02/2023 21:33

I think school need to grow a backbone and stop pandering to this nonsense they don’t need to be in the middle of this crap.

They issue the invite - you go or you don’t - no phone calls needed!!

LlynTegid · 01/02/2023 21:34

No advice, but I bet he would not have asked a male teacher a second time.

SwingandaPrayer · 01/02/2023 21:38

School should be sending the message that they will under no circumstances be organising that for your ex. Anyway, he is more likely to bump into you outside that way than if you both sit at opposite ends of the hall.

Greying · 01/02/2023 21:39

DSL is there for safeguarding kids, not pandering to adults who need to get a grip. If her dad cannot cope with an assembly with attendees not chosen by him, then he can’t come and school should tell him this.

BlackFriday · 01/02/2023 21:41

I can't believe what I'm reading here! Your ex is a dick and is embarrassing himself beyond belief.
Of course the school should not be facilitating this ridiculous suggestion on his part. They should have just said no in the first place.
How has it been left?

Dacadactyl · 01/02/2023 21:42

Shocking behaviour from him. I actually can't believe what I'm reading.

hourbyhour101 · 01/02/2023 21:43

Your ex is a absolute bellend.

I would go and studiously ignore him. I would stay to the staff that you aren't really considering this bat shit response ?

Also have I mentioned your ex is a bellend ?

BlackFriday · 01/02/2023 21:45

Actually, thinking about it, if the DSL has got involved, then this must have triggered some concerns for them, if your ex is really saying he can't be in the same room as you for 20 minutes. If he's that difficult, then they might be wondering what impact that's having on your dd.
Out of interest, how was he expecting this insane idea to work? Was the entire assembly meant to pause part-way through for the big dramatic change of parent? And which half of the assembly is your dd's role? Who was to get to watch her special 30 second part?

LakeTiticaca · 01/02/2023 21:50

He sounds pathetic. What happens in the future if your DD gets married? 2 separate ceremonies? Tell him to look up his arse and find his balls!!

Original poster

holbolbol · 02/02/2023 10:09

Thanks for everyone who commented. Makes me feel better that people think this is as ridiculous as I did! Just to update, he came to the assembly, left half-way through to sit outside the hall and then refused to come into the classroom afterwards to see DD's. What a bellend!

OP posts:

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