Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let DD shave her legs?

74 replies

hellodarknessmyoldfriend22 · 01/02/2023 20:32

DD is 9.

She's not started puberty in anyway but is worried about her legs being hairy. They aren't particularly hairy, but light hair has increased recently.

I think 9 is really young. Obviously I'd start her on electric razor.

Ideally I'd encourage her to wait but it's her body and I want her to have freedom to choose.

I remember hating my legs, wanting to shave and being told I was too young by my mum. I was probably about 13 and people had commented at school.

OP posts:
Ellie1015 · 01/02/2023 21:57

I allowed my dd at a similar age. She was quite hairy. Althought fine, blonde hairs it bothered her. Used electric razor and she loved the result.

After a short time she couldnt be borhered shaving so didnt bother. I think having the choice made her stop worrying about the hair.

ancientgran · 01/02/2023 22:01

Jimboscott0115 · 01/02/2023 21:06

Apart from any impact on hair growth (don't really know about this!) My question would be why not? If she wants to it doesn't harm anyone else do not sure why you'd ever say no?

That's how I feel. I can't see why it's an issue really.

Timesawastin · 01/02/2023 22:05

Snapplepie · 01/02/2023 21:05

We all have stories about pinching dad's razor, using kraft knives or blunt bics, cutting our ankles up or getting covered in razor burn... the risks to your daughters health all seem to come from you stopping her and her taking matters into her own hands rather than you letting her and showing her how to do it properly. I'd let her.

No, we don't. Some of us never bought into this vile ' normal female body hair is dirty and unwanted' crap.
This needs a proper conversation not a razor.

Tryingtodobetter82 · 01/02/2023 22:08

100% let her.
I was bullied at school and that was one of the things I was picked on for.
my mum wouldn’t let me until I was much older and I also cut myself very badly 😔

OrlandointheWilderness · 01/02/2023 22:13

@Timesawastin that's not necessarily the way for all of us who shave - from very young I've always hated the feel of hairy legs. It physically hurt when I was putting on school tights etc and I have never like it, anywhere. I have removed my body hair from when I was about 11 (legs and armpits then, I didn't wave a razor around my bits until I was about 18 😂) out of my choice, my mother certainly didn't shave hers and I remember no comments about it at school etc.

reluctantbrit · 01/02/2023 22:14

Timesawastin · 01/02/2023 22:05

No, we don't. Some of us never bought into this vile ' normal female body hair is dirty and unwanted' crap.
This needs a proper conversation not a razor.

Show quote history

In general I agree, they should learn to love how they are, not what a magazine tells them. And I found my teen is more and more less bothered than she was when she was younger.

But, if she is distraught by it, then it's my job to teach her doing it safely.

My friend has severe skin problems with ingrown hair because her mum didn't teach her how to do it properly. She is dark haired and fair skinned, I can imagine she wasn't happy as a child/pre-teen. My friend now has the Lumea hair removal thingy and is happy that her skin is finally fine (she is 42). She happily let her teen use it as well, the girl has the same colouring.

WunWun · 02/02/2023 07:36

Who are these nine olds reading magazines?! My concern is 100% her being bullied by other kids. Bullying ruins lives. I would never force my daughter to be a target for something I could change.

KimberleyClark · 02/02/2023 07:47

Surely at 9 years old it’s just down and not proper hair?

WunWun · 02/02/2023 07:49

KimberleyClark · 02/02/2023 07:47

Surely at 9 years old it’s just down and not proper hair?

Probably for some, certainly not all. My DD is extremely obviously hairy.

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 02/02/2023 07:50

Is it going to make a difference by waiting, no. Just let her shave her legs.

Eastereggsboxedupready · 02/02/2023 07:53

Surely she can take responsibility for decisions about her own body? It isn't life changing physically if she changes her mind in the future...

Mumof1andacat · 02/02/2023 07:55

A phillips lady shave is an electric rechargeable razor. Very easy and safe to use

reluctantbrit · 02/02/2023 08:00

WunWun · 02/02/2023 07:36

Who are these nine olds reading magazines?! My concern is 100% her being bullied by other kids. Bullying ruins lives. I would never force my daughter to be a target for something I could change.

I found that most pre-teen magazines show girls without underarm hair. Then look at TV/movies. If a girl has a mum who reads magazines or an older sister/aunt/has a sneak view at a friend's house, then they think this is what is required.

Also, swimming classes or if they dance/do gymnastics - DD once went to a dance school where the head teacher was quite vocal about girls and body hair, luckily only in emails to parents but it could have easily read by DD. One reason she didn't stay at that dance school.

ArtVandalay · 02/02/2023 08:05

Yes, let her.

I’d buy wax strips though, and do it for her.

gamerchick · 02/02/2023 08:05

I'll never get how controlling some parents are about their daughters body hair. Whether it's legs or the hair on their head. It's really weird, it's not up to you whether they want a haircut or to take leg fluff off. It belongs to them 🙄

Suzi888 · 02/02/2023 08:07

Glad you’ve decided to help. What about hair remover? Is that more gentle and less noticeable?

OoooohMatron · 02/02/2023 08:11

Timesawastin · 01/02/2023 22:05

No, we don't. Some of us never bought into this vile ' normal female body hair is dirty and unwanted' crap.
This needs a proper conversation not a razor.

Show quote history

I don't think one person on here has said body hair is 'vile'. If you want to have body hair that's your choice, same as it's another woman/girls choice not to. Get over yourself.

WhatNoRaisins · 02/02/2023 08:12

Just let her do it. I don't why some people see it as such a big deal, it's just removing hair, it's not like getting a tattoo.

Thepossibility · 02/02/2023 08:42

My DD is 10 and as soon as she asks I'll do it for her. Probably just let her to rest her leg on the edge of the bath and I'd do it because I wouldn't trust her with a razor at this stage.
I already wax her unibrow for her.
I still remember being embarrassed of my hairy body and eyebrows at that age and growing up is hard enough without being embarrassed of yourself.

maltesersarethedevil · 02/02/2023 09:05

I have literally had this conversation with my DD9 this last weekend.

She does dance/gymnastics competitions and feels self conscious in the uniforms with hairy legs. We used hair removal cream under supervision and she's thrilled.

00deed1988 · 02/02/2023 09:52

I would let her. I started at 8 in secret and cut myself really badly. However, 1st I would find out why.

Recently my son who is nearly 9 started getting very hairy legs, he was very proud and started getting excited it might start growing from under his arms too. He then said something along the lines of "and I get to grow it instead of having to shave it off like girls do". I asked him why girls had to shave it off which he had no answer to, guess it is just seeing me do it. We had a chat about women and girls not having to shave and sometimes men shave. Not all cultures do ect and it was personal choice. There is nothing wrong with body hair on men or women.

It's crazy how young this gets ingrained into children often without us realising.

Isheabastard · 02/02/2023 10:33

I remember going through this when I was a child and also with my dd. We are both medium skin tone but with dark hair. I was ended up spending an afternoon at someone’s house who had a swimming pool. I refused to go in the water because that would mean taking my trousers off and people would see I hadn’t shaved my legs. What an idiot I was.

Nine years feels too young but that’s an emotional response from me. It really depends if it’s noticeable, or if she’s starting to subscribe to the idea all women and girls must be hairless.

But it’s her body and only you and her can know what it looks like and how much this will affect her.

My personal opinion, would be to explain why shaving isn’t the best method. I think an epilator is better than waxing and much less of a faff.

However, I would use this an an opportunity to start having the conversation about women conforming to societies expectations of womens bodies. Perhaps look up articles and blogs who espouse the as nature intended look.

A while ago there was a very pale skinned blonde model? Who posted a pic of herself, she had she had very fine blonde hairy legs. She got a lot of abuse about it, and that is not ok.

Comedycook · 02/02/2023 10:35

9 is very young but I'm of the mind that if something bothers them and it's easily dealt with, then deal with it. I'd help her with an electric shaver.

Godlovesall26 · 02/02/2023 11:06

If it bothers her, I’d say yes. I wasn’t allowed until 11 and it was miserable. I’m fair skin and dark hair, it was extremely obvious. And I did ballet, lyrical, contemporary, it’s awful to raise your arms.
If a beautician accepts though at that age, I’d definitely go down that route, waxing needs it much less frequently.

JamSandle · 02/02/2023 11:25

I'd allow it and help her if she needed it.

Swipe left for the next trending thread