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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Blindside breakup

4 replies

Nicnacknock · 01/02/2023 18:51

Name changed for this, as outing.
Around a year ago a man I had been seeing for about 1.5 years seriously blindsided me.
We saw each other daily, holidays, met the family, talk of future.
He's mid 30's and acted liked he loved me.
We hadn't argued much, tiffs I suppose, and were talking about babies and planning holidays. Two nights before we had sex.
Then, he knocked on my door and said it was over.
I thought he was joking but he wasn't.
He left and after much persuasion gave me an explanation that he "was sick of me".
I tried for more info - I was so confused and sad - but he just looked bored and left. It was honestly like a light had flipped and this person was a different man and no longer interested in me.
I haven't heard anything since. I bumped into him once and he looked at me like we had never met, it was seriously weird.
I do know he got a new gf quickly but she wasn't an overlap.
He was initially very charming but within a few months this faded and looking back I think he was quite critical of me at certain points.
He was also very conflict averse and uncommunicative.
I don't think he ever loved me. It's taken me a while to realise that but I'm ok with it.
I'm getting over it, it has taken ages as I was fully invested, but genuinely... what the hell? I've never dated anyone like this.
I think a lot of my difficulty coming to terms with it is the Jekyll and Hyde aspects of him... I feel like I loved a total stranger.

OP posts:
Ludo19 · 01/02/2023 18:55

That's awful OP. Hard to accept but he's done you a massive favour in the long run. Must be a bit of a head fuck but you'll come out the other side stronger. Don't let his behaviour dictate your future. Be strong x

SavoirFlair · 01/02/2023 19:12

That’s awful OP

Here’s the Mumsnet Relationships Board for next time .

Nicnacknock · 01/02/2023 19:21

Thanks loads ❤️

OP posts:
ChocChipOwl · 01/02/2023 20:43

After a year you need to be examining why you're still hanging onto this as much as you are

I'd put work into getting over it asap because whilst you moon about after him in this way, you just hold yourself back.

You've wasted an entire 12 months on this bloke. Honestly, unless he had a gold plated cock and was a self made millionaire, he really isn't worth this angst

Who cares why he did what he did? Don't waste any more time psychoanalysing it all because he won't be doing likewise

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