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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not send DD on holiday

22 replies

Eurydice84 · 01/02/2023 17:16

DD is 3 and a half. Her Grandma offered to take her on holiday for a week over the Easter holidays, as DH and I will be working. She would go with her older cousins. I am torn as we have never spent more than a day apart and it seems a bit early for her to be away by herself. On the other hand, I would need to arrange annual leave if she doesn't go. WWYD?

OP posts:
YetMoreNewBeginnings · 01/02/2023 17:23

Does she spend a lot of time with her Grandma?

I would, but then my MIL always spent a lot of time with the kids (she lives with us now) so I know my children would be safe and love it.

ModerationInEverything · 01/02/2023 17:23

Totally depends on her relationship with Grandma but if it's good, they know each other well etc then let her go.

euff · 01/02/2023 17:26

I would find this very hard at this age. I think a lot depends on how your DD is and how she will cope without you at night etc. my DD would probably have been fine and not given much thought to us but not DS.

How good is hers and your relationship with grandma and everyone else who is going? How many and how old are the older cousins and will grandma be the only adult? I do know families who send their kids abroad to be with grandparents in the holidays rather than childcare clubs here and they join them for a week or two but that's school age.

Original poster
Eurydice84 · 01/02/2023 18:28

DD gets along with Grandma and they see each other every week; my relationship with her is trickier (that's MILs for you hey...)
Cousins are 14, 9, and 7 and they are going with their parents (DD's aunt and husband).
DD would be the youngest child and that worries me a bit. She is not fully confident with potty training and often has accidents.

OP posts:
LIZS · 01/02/2023 18:31

You have two months for them to get more familiar with her routine and needs, and she with them. Are they going far?

PicaK · 01/02/2023 18:32

Go with your gut. Don't worry about potty accidents etc but mentally how would she cope without you? If you think she'd be fine, let her go. If not, give profuse thanks for the offer, say you'll snap her hand off in future years. Look for a childcare provider to start doing half days, every other day etc to build up familiarity.

Original poster
Eurydice84 · 01/02/2023 18:33

Far enough - 3 hours and a half by car...

OP posts:
teaandtoastwithmarmite · 01/02/2023 18:33

I would. My DD regularly stays with my mil over the holidays

Original poster
Eurydice84 · 01/02/2023 18:34

Eurydice84 · 01/02/2023 18:33

Far enough - 3 hours and a half by car...

Sorry @LIZS I meant to answer your question

OP posts:
samqueens · 01/02/2023 18:54

Take annual leave and go with them? That way, if there’s a next time, you’ll know what the set up will be and whether you and she would be ok with her going alone… She will probably love spending time with her cousins and there will be adults around for you to hang out with too

Dragonsandcats · 01/02/2023 18:56

I wouldn’t send my 3 year old away for a week without me.

User4873628 · 01/02/2023 18:56

Let her have an overnight stay beforehand and see how she gets on? A week seems a long time for a first trip.

highlyrecommendit · 01/02/2023 18:58

I wouldn't send my 6 year old away without me for a week. Wouldn't even entertain the idea at 3.5.

PotKettel · 01/02/2023 18:59

My ds at 3 was happy doing staying 3 nights with his grandparents and sister. I don’t think I’d want them going away for a whole week but mainly because my PiL are quite elderly and my ds is a handful.

I probably wouldn’t agree to this plan, might agree if there was another very young child going and PiL were young and active and very used to having the dc overnight or for several nights.

BeanCounterBabe · 01/02/2023 19:03

My DC started staying with in-laws for a week in school holidays from 4, youngest would have been 4 1/2 first time but did have a 7 year old sibling and no other kids around. I’d leave it a year but I don’t think sending DC away with loving GPs is bad.

BeanCounterBabe · 01/02/2023 19:04

Can you take her for maybe 2/3 nights and just take part of the week off?

Oblomov22 · 01/02/2023 19:07

Depends if dd wants to. If she's close to grandma. My ds2 adores / begs going to stay with auntie J (Dh has 5 siblings) who has dogs, outside big pool / paddling pool, and a horse.

Shampern · 01/02/2023 19:19

We sent ours to Grandma's for a week when they were 2 and 5 but of course they had each other. We were out of the country. The children seemed very happy.

I would ask your DD in a very matter of fact way, without spelling out any potential issues like missing you or being homesick.

FavouriteSlippers · 01/02/2023 19:29

3.5 is fine to be away a week imo.
But I've allowed 2.of my kids to stay with GP from a very early age from 2 months And they've always been confident sleeping out, residentials, etc.
Youngest due to covid couldn't stay out from young age. Now 3 and absolutely won't stay anywhere without us

GettingItOutThere · 01/02/2023 20:05

mine wouldnt go - and they are super close to grand parents BUT i would not send them at that age. I didnt either!

each to their own - someone i know always sends her kids away every opportunity but i jucst cannot!

Heyahun · 01/02/2023 20:13

My 2 year is off to Ireland to granny’s for a week while I go to Glastonbury in the summer and they are taking her away for a few days while she’s gone 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ I wouldn’t think twice about it

i left her last year too for the same festival while my mum had her in my house 🙈

but hey everyone feels differently about leaving their child so you do what you feel is right for your daughter

Songbird54321 · 01/02/2023 20:30

My dd is extremely close to her grandparents. They offered to take her on holiday when she was 4 and she absolutely shut it down and didn't want to go. So that was that. She's just a homebody

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