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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask what age you leave a child unattended in a car?

38 replies

autienotnaughty · 01/02/2023 08:32

Just that really. If you are nipping in to a shop - so out of sight/hearing for up to 10 minutes. What age is reasonable?

OP posts:

balloontrip · 01/02/2023 11:34

Slowingdownagain · 01/02/2023 11:32

During covid I would leave my 2.5 year old with my 6 year old in the car. I was home alone, and the supermarket was like some kind of army camp. "family" shopping was not allowed and if you dared show up with children you would get awful looks from everyone. So mine were given tablets and snacks when I went in alone, and a phone for contact. They were fine, especailly my eldest is sensible and indepedent.

I mean there is a limit to how sensible and independent a 6 year old can be, more so when they are responsible for a toddler.

Slowingdownagain · 01/02/2023 11:36

balloontrip · 01/02/2023 11:34

I mean there is a limit to how sensible and independent a 6 year old can be, more so when they are responsible for a toddler.

Show quote history

Sure. But if we were to have food, what choice did we have? This was the time we were being told we could die if we contracted Covid, which of course was inevitable if we came within 2ms of anyone. They had a phone that my 6 yo could use (and actually DS was 3.5, not 2.5. Not that that makes much difference of course). I felt ok about the risk assessment at the time.

JJJSchmidt · 01/02/2023 11:37

I leave my dd (8) in a shop where i can see the car through the windows at the end of each aisle. I park next to the shop so she can get out and come into the shop without crossing the car park. But i would only do it with this particular set up - it's usually on the way home from her swimming lesson so she is warmer in the car

SleeplessInEngland · 01/02/2023 11:40

SavoirFlair · 01/02/2023 10:36

I don’t “nip into shops” because it’s a weird fallacy statement -

You have no idea if there’s a queue, if it will take longer than the metaphorical “two secs”

Meanwhile the number of car alarms I’ve seen set off at shopping areas because a DC is understandably moving around the car and restless..

It’s just weird. just take them out of the car, price it into the time you need for the activity.

YABU.

8 year olds aren't toddlers though. It'd be quite weird for one to be that restless/troublesome after just 5 minutes.

gogohmm · 01/02/2023 11:41

From the age you would trust them to walk to the post box or corner shop themselves (no roads to cross) so 7 or 8. Mine walked to school from 8 alone.

Snappyfrog · 01/02/2023 11:43

This thread makes me feel bad as I’ve been doing this at a much younger age. I leave my 3 year old in the car whilst I get petrol and have also left her numerous times when nipping in the corner shop on the way home from nursery. She’s nearly 4 now but have been doing it for quite a while. I can see the car at all times and she understands and is happy…we live rural so it’s a very quiet safe village and have never felt like this was unsafe! May reassess!

Slowingdownagain · 01/02/2023 11:44

gogohmm · 01/02/2023 11:41

From the age you would trust them to walk to the post box or corner shop themselves (no roads to cross) so 7 or 8. Mine walked to school from 8 alone.

Surely being in a loacked and stationary car is much less risky than walking off alone somewhere?

purpledalmation · 01/02/2023 12:07

9, but only for a few minutes to pop to the chemist which is in sight. He had clear instructions not to open the door to anyone. I trusted him with the keys.

purpledalmation · 01/02/2023 12:08

That's in a car park

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 01/02/2023 12:09

7 or 8 for mine - but only if they were alone. They turn into crazed beasts when left together <sigh>

Summerishere123 · 01/02/2023 12:14

DS was fine age 8. DD is 7 and emotionally very immature so will be a while yet unless DS is also in the car.

Whowhatwherewhenwhy1 · 01/02/2023 13:37

Surely that depends on the area, how many kids and their ages, whether its day or dusk, the childs maturity, distance to the shop or help if needed. What if you left them and fell down the escalator/ had a collapse? Unlikely but possible. Is it really worth it?

Blueflag22 · 01/02/2023 14:35

9-10 but I'm sure in the mumsnet world most should say 16 years old 😂 honestly, just nipping into a shop/petrol 9-10 yes old no special needs etc is what I've done.

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