I grew up in a household with pretty intense DV between my parents who are both alcoholics. As an adult, I've been through a shedload of therapy (and a couple of mental breakdowns) and have been able to establish certain boundaries which have helped me maintain a relationship with both my parents (who are still together and are painfully unhappy being so, but they are incapable of separating). They initially pushed back on these boundaries but have begun to respect them because I constantly re-establish them, and in their old age the dynamics of our relationship have changed and they now want the parental relationship with me that I craved as a child but no longer need in my mid-30s.
My mum is one of my best friends when she's sober but I cannot bear her when she drinks her entire personality changes and I find it stressful to even speak to her over the phone - we speak 2-3 times per day during her sober hours and i see her approx 1-2 times per week. Recently, however, I've found that speaking to them or being around them makes me feel really low in mood and stressed, even when they're trying really hard and being lovely with me. I'm pregnant with my first baby and have a loving, stable relationship with my husband, and I am very close to his family and have a decent group of friends.
As I navigate this pregnancy I just want to minimise any source of stress - even if its unintentional. My parents really do love me but they're emotionally unstable people with limited perspective on how they present and the impact they have. I especially love my mum so much but I've found myself minimising the amount we speak and trying to put distance between us. I don't want to hurt her at a point where she is making a lot of effort to do better and be better, but right now I just find my relationship with them both to be too much. Would I BU to go LC until I feel strong enough to take them and all their baggage?