Since I split with my ex he has never ever been consistent with contact, he’s regularly gone for a year or more not seeing our children. He will then pop up after a year see them for a bit then get bored and stop seeing them and go for a year again! This has been nonstop since we split. We split up 6 years ago he has not once had them overnight, not one single night. He refuses to and isn’t interested in overnight contact, instead he will see them for a few hours by coming down to mine every now and again (nothing regular he refuses to stick to a regular routine at most it will be twice a month.) I allowed this at first but I decided to stop allowing him to come to mine to see them and instead told him he needed to take them out, he did this a few times and again got bored and stopped bothering, only this time he disappeared for 2 years. I blamed myself and thought maybe I should have just let him see them at my house.
After 2 years no contact he messaged again asking to see them, I decided I wanted to take things slower this time and not rush into contact and instead they had phone contact to show he was being consistent and regular, at first he was good, messaging them regularly paying an interest in their lives etc. Around Xmas (23rd dec) he asked to bring them some presents, I agreed to this, he came down dropped them off some presents and that’s the last they saw him?! He has not contacted me since to see them at all… he barely messages them now (last messaged my son 2 weeks ago saying he would come down that weekend then didn’t show up, he also didn’t cancel he has just not messaged him since) I’m really annoyed as I thought I did the right thing by building up contact first so he can prove himself and he has still done the same thing. Should I just cut contact for good this time, no more chances? My daughter is autistic and struggles massively with this behaviour I am now left to pick up the pieces all over again. I’m not sure how you can not see children for 2 years see them once then not try to see them again? He was at the house for about half an hour after 2 years no contact.