AIBU to ask you for your children‘s party tips?

[PartyTips]

DS is going to be 4. He’s never had a birthday party before because Covid hit his first and second but then his 3rd had a whole disaster so his party was delayed and eventually just cancelled (because he was three and a half by then). He’s really, really, really excited for his 4th birthday party? Obviously don’t want to waste money/time/energy/stress on things that don’t work out well or don’t matter.

So, what are your tips? Which things have you enjoyed at parties your DCs have been to? Which things didn’t work? What were good/bad for you either as a host or a guest?

I’d really appreciate any input on this because I don’t know where to start.

Get an entertainer to do everything 😄

Do a little tea no matter what time it is as you will have parents expecting it even if it’s 10am/2pm. Better safe than sorry.

Put on the invite whether it’s drop off (probably not at 4, lots of parents will prefer to stay) and if siblings are welcome or not, and an RSVP deadline!! As lots of people will not bother RSVPing and then you won’t know whether to assume they’re coming, or assume they’re not coming.

Dont do the party bags from our childhoods - plastic tat is a no. Either sweets or one item eg book. We did Lego glasses at one of the kids’ last bday which went well.

I bloody love a kids’ party but most of ours have just been at home due to covid/being a preschooler so not many friends to invite 😄 but if you’re doing a whole class/loads of people coming, definitely employ a kid wrangler.

The works do a good assortment of 10 books for £10.....a book, a slice of cake and a small tube of smarties if you're feeling flush would make an ace party bag like another poster suggested.

Face painter or entertainer is a good idea, or hire a soft play if funds allow so they can all let off steam.

Cake doesn't have to be super expensive.....if you have lots of children buy an asda large sheet cake and if you want something fancier for the photos buy something small and fancy to out candles on and serve to family after the party and dish up the normal sponge cake to the party bags.

Have party game prizes on standby.....if they are having too much fun they may not want the structured party games, but better to have a few small prizes just in case....at that age something like the little Playmobil figures would be great, or a sticker or colouring book from Home Bargains.

I honestly feel that at 4, they require little outside influence to have fun. A hall filled with balloons, music, snacks and maybe some disco lights and just let them run themselves ragged. Or you could go a bit more sophisticated and have an entertainer or a bouncy castle etc.

I echo above that RSVP deadlines are important and just ask for a text message or email as a response as opposed to returning the RSVP slip, because that kind of thing gets forgotten whereas texts are 5 seconds and done.

A little table with some squash or tea/coffee available for parents is always a nice touch if they are hanging around for 2 hours listening to kids screaming 😅

At 4/5 the most popular were halls with bouncy castle and possible ride-on or face painting if budget stretched, or soft play.

Picnic boxes with standard crisps, ham/cheese sarnie, chocolate biscuit and platters of (uneaten) carrot sticks and cucumber can be prepared beforehand so less sticky fingers over everything.

Include tea and biccies for parents.

Bouncy castle, balloons and music. They entertain themselves very happily.

2 hrs is the limit in my experience, it's not long enough for them to get over tired and moody so they leave in a good mood.

We did 1 Hr of running round like crazy things
30 mins eating buffet food and doing birthday cake

Then you have the last 30 minutes to cut up the cake for party bags and to get the food cleared away while the kids play again for a bit.

easy options that age:
hall/ bouncy castle/ balloons and takeaway pizza for all
or
softplay

regardless of which, dont bother with a party bag, do a book from the works and a sweetcone for each child.

Cake- get a supermarket cake and buy a personalised, themed cake topper from etsy to stick in it.

Oh and we did slice of cake in a paper bag to take home and one of those giant bubble wands each, pretty sure I got them on a 2 for 3 offer somewhere so they worked out less than £1 each.

As above. Beer or bubbly for parents goes down well. Bouncy castles can be overwhelming and noisy in smaller spaces so you might want to give it a miss if your child is a bit sensitive.

Two hours max, lay out a load of hula hoops, don't overthink it!

Have it in the morning. He will find it hard to wait until mid afternoon, and when he crashes from sugar/excitement/exhaustion you can be at home and be calm.

Enjoy!!

At 4 I would go traditional. 10 kids max, party games like pass the parcel, musical bumps. Beige party food, jelly and ice cream. A craft activity (baker ross is a good source of they still exist) and they get to take it home eg we did paint bird boxes, paint bags, paint pillowcases. Sweets, cake and a book (go to the works or charity shops) plus maybe bubbles as a gift.

Hot drinks and a cheese board for the adults.

DS turned four this year and has been to about 10 birthday parties so far. All but one have been at a soft play/other entertainment venue. It might be different next year when he's at school and the parties are bigger, but at the moment it seems to be maximum of about 12-15 kids per party so works out not too expensive.

All have included some kind of food, mostly provided by the venue, and party bags, again mostly provided by the venue. All have lasted no longer than two hours - usually 1 hour play time followed by food then the cake cutting.

Invite either the whole class, or less than half. If you invite half, DON’T mention the party on your class wattsapp…

Do a cool paper invite. If the invite looks shit, parents may feel less like bothering to come.

Remember that 30% may be ill/forget and not come. If you want 10 guests, invite at least 13.

Make clear on the invite if siblings are welcome or not, and if parents
must stay or not. Ask for a RSVP, but know that most won’t bother, so chase people for a reply by phone individually.

Set up a wattsapp group just for the party and find excuses to send reminders: NOT “please remember to come” but “Hey guys looking forward to Frodo’s party on Saturday! If you need parking, it’s…” or “Bouncy castle is nearly up, feeling excited!”

If you ask school to hand out the invite, follow up by text message in case some go missing.

Do it in either a village hall (ideally with a garden) or softplay centre. Not in your house.

Ask your child what they enjoy and what would make it special. Does your child want to greet everyone at the door, or stand on a table while everyone claps?

Plan music.

Get a bouncy castle only if it has a slide (otherwise it’ll be overcrowded) and keep a close eye on safety there.

Have a colouring in / craft / DIY face paint table for the quieter children.

Encourage fancy dress for the kids.

ASK ABOUT FOOD ALLEGIES. Have an allergy-proof help yourself snack table with crisps and carrot sticks, cucumber slices etc. Do cupcakes, not a huge cake. (Don’t get your child to blow all over everyone else’s cake, it’s gross.) No one will notice if th cake tastes shit so get a cheap one, but they WILL notice if Olivia bursts into tears because you forgot her nut allergy so she can’t eat the cake.

Parents will expect tea/coffee, have a plan for this that doesn’t keep you stuck in kitchen the whole time.

If spare cash, consider an entertainer eg magician.

Consider what children cry/argue about. Ie no pass the parcel, no games with one winner and a zillion losers. For age 4 I’d alsp suggest no balloons: there’s always a kid who’s been taught to pop them all and another kid who can’t stand them being popped. What about fingerlights instead, or blowing bubbles for them to chase? (If indoors watch out for slippy soap on floor!!)

Especially no unfair games where the birthday child’s parents ensure that the birthday child wins: others will notice and judge you and remember forever. My child STILL occasionally rant about how unfair Lucy’s mum was at a 5th birthday party. My child is now 10. 👀

Adapt. If it’s sunny out don’t insist they stay inside. If they just want to dig a hole in sand and blow bubbles, don’t make them stop to play a dumb game.

Do party bags but make them cheap, they’ll mostly get thrown away.

Have a fab time! Remember it’s supposed to be fun, for you and the children.

Lunch boxes, one per child rather than buffet food works really well and it's easier to judge how much food to make. Boxes are inexpensive from amazon. Book, Sweet cone or both rather than plastic tat bag

I have done several Bouncy Castle parties in a hall and the thing that was most popular every time was the tattoo station (easier than face paint, less mess, no artistic person required lol)
Large pack of temporary tattoos and some glitter pots, kitchen paper, scissors and a water spray bottle is all you need....then nominate someone to apply them :)

Soft play are easiest to organise and not as expensive as you might expect (although a bit hellish for parents.)

If organising own party, easiest option is hiring a hall and putting bouncy castle in there. And fill remaining floor space with balloons. Create a playlist full of kiddy party songs 'Baby-effing-Shark' etc.

Put milk, coffee, teabags and digestives etc in the 'kitchen' and let parents help themselves.

For food, don't overthink it. Kids eat less at parties than I expected. Just have plenty of crisps, breadsticks and biscuits/cakes etc. Do ensure you have jugs of juice on tables and constantly top them up. The kids drink a lot.

Don't bust a gut trying to do party bags full of plastic tut. Give kids a piece of cake to take home and a cellophane sweet cone (party supplies shop in our town sells them for about £1.50 a pop.)

Schedule - give an hour for kids to run around and exhaust themselves. About 20 mins for food, 20 mins for a couple of party games and then back to running around for last 20 mins while you start clearing up.

Chuck a pound coin in lot a room and write a sign that says “find the pound”

Hahahaha! Thanks Liz

What had you planned for his third that was cancelled?

If you do Pass the Parcel:

Don't deliberately choose the birthday child to win it. Let everyone have a go opening it then have the winner chosen at random.

If you have multiple parcels have the same number of layers for each.

Use music that makes it obvious when it's been stopped.

Put a party hat (as you'd get in crackers) in each layer. Hopefully the majority will wear them then it'll be obvious who's had a turn at unwrapping a layer.

Following. Good luck!

Water or drinks bottles or plastic cups- have labels and stick each child's name on it otherwise it's a free for all after the first half hour or you have to give out a new cup every time they put their drink down. This is important if you're doing an activity with a lot of running about!

Party bags are the work of the devil. I've always just done a breezy "I don't do party bags for environmental reasons but here's a piece of cake to take away." Sometimes I'd go tog the book depot or somewhere similar and buy 30 small books cheaply and hand those out.

If you're doing 12-2.00 etc don't only feed kids. Parents will need something!

Have a plate of cut up carrots/ mini tomato/ grapes etc. The children will ignore this in favour of the crisps and cake but it's entirely window dressing for the other parents.

Remember bin liners for the clear up afterwards!

And carrier bags to take presents home.

I am just starting to organise a party as well. How do you politely write that siblings can't come? Mine is in a place where you pay per head. I'm assuming they could book their own place but wouldn't be part of the party? Tricky to say this politely though