Does anyone else think fuck it all ?

[needanewnamechange]

I’ve name-changed just because I don’t want previous threads linked
I know I am unreasonable,
im pissed off with work for various reasons and I have this and that to sort out at home and I feel like I can’t get anything done . Always something to sort and not enough time and energy to do it and then I feel a complete failure, I’m constantly beating myself up off not doing xyz.
I have a sen child and it’s hard sometimes, people often tell me I’m doing well it must be hard etc , I shrug it off but some days I want to cry as all getting on top of me .
people always say I’m so strong and I suppose a lot would think I’m the last person to say is struggling. I admit I suppose I see this as weakness and I must stay strong but it’s exhausting.
i don’t think I’m depressed as tomorrow I could feel fine . I just think I’m down maybe lost my zest for life and possibly pre menopausal as I have some symptoms.
I feel like I have no one I can talk to and part of me doesn’t want to admit it too .
I feel like I want to be off sick to get my thoughts together but I feel that might make me feel worse not keeping busy and I wouldn’t want people thinking oh she’s depressed/ stressed etc .
i know people are going through a much much harder time than me . I just feel like going fuck it I’m not working but is that normal or something else ?.
I suppose I’m having a rant and hoping this will make me feel better.
any advice or if anyone feels like this ?

m.youtube.com/watch?v=dkrAF4o4Tdg

you are not alone.

Absolutely. All the time.. if it were possible just to stop existing them I would. There is nothing in my life that brings me joy (or even happiness) just a long, dull, unrewarding slog. I try to tell myself things will get better but they have just continued to get worse and worse. But I am here and stuck with it, so on we go I guess...

Feel exactly the same. Life is relentless. Have two dcs with disabilities, there's always multiple things that need seriously following up with for each re school, health... their dad is useless. Stuff in the house keeps going wrong - spent all morning fixing dishwasher. Tax credits have gone down and I can't work out why. Feel exhausted and it's only Monday.

thanks for commenting at least I’m not alone . Also sorry you are too having a hard time , feeling positive today will be better .

Yes, here's to a better day today.

In the first lockdown, friends and I used to WhatsApp little things we were grateful for to each other every evening. It sounded ridiculous but focusing on the positive, no matter how small, did help.

Maybe all us depressed miseries should head back here at the end of the day and share something good that has happened...

I relate to your post so much. I hate being told I'm strong. It's not like I have a choice.
What helps me is, when I feel things are too much, I recheck the balance of things in my life. I make sure that I have some things I genuinely enjoy and want to do going on. Let go of what I don't really want or need to do, as much as possible. Have a day at home. Go for a walk. Watch something interesting. That sort of thing.

I actually read this twice wondering if I had written it myself in the middle of the night and forgotten. You are not alone. Down to pretty much every detail in the OP.

Wish I had some advice currently experiencing the same overwhelm and while I know the right things to do, I just can't quite get there. Life feels like Groundhog Day and a drudge. And the fear it's only going to get worse as SEN child gets older. Lots of issues at work that I suspect mean I would be better off looking elsewhere but it's just finding the motivation. And options are so limited I've stuck with a not great employer because they are really flexible about my caring situation.

I am now on sertraline which stops the panic and regular crying when I can't cope but doesn't seem to solve the fact that I'm just a bit bored, sad and miserable. I do have a lovely supportive DH and another wonderful DC, and SEN DC is also wonderful (in between meltdowns.) trying to focus on the positive each day. I find podcasts really help to stop my mind constantly playing over all the bad things.