I've just gone and ordered this 🤞
My DD is 9, she is lovely until we hit the same triggers, anything involving time (time to go, time for bed, it's not time to make crafts at 9.45pm etc) the word 'No' and a need to NOT believe that I am in charge.
She screams 'you're not the boss of me' I say I am. She lashes out, she's manipulative, she destroys things, when she's at a 9 or 10 on the 'loosing it' scale it's like she's having a night terror. Wild eyes, screaming, crying, lashing out, choking on her breath.
She's had some counselling sessions but they weren't the right fit, they were aimed at older children who are violent.
I could see her being like that in a few years though, she's tried climbing out the second floor window, she destroys things and says she wants to stab me or wishes I was dead and screams I hate you
She doesn't mean it her love for me is possessive and manipulative.
I am a single parent and have been since she was 1 year old.
When she's not in that state she's lovely and she's great at school, she sometimes struggles with friendships but not always.
She sees her dad and is 'good' for him, she usually explodes on me when she gets back and for years I took it as I get guilty, I would sit waiting for her to come home having missed her and loving her but also waiting to be a literal punching bag. It's a very toxic relationship unfortunately.
She also LOVES physical attention. I'm not sure if that means anything but any game played on the floor with tickling or piggy back rides or chasing a ball. It's a very intense play and she could do it for hours by middle aged knees not so much