How do you not let your job stress you out?

[C1239]

Are you good at switching off from work at the end of the day? I need to learn to get better at this, so I have a better work / life balance. Any tips much appreciated!

I work in a very specialised job and make sure I have time to myself when I can. I also learnt how to block it out when I leave work and don't worry about it now specially the shifts I do

My thing is always 'what's the worst thing that can happen' and the worst thing that can happen is someone will be a bit cross with me and tell me off and then we'll all go back to our day.

I'm an adult, I can handle that. And that approach leaves me pretty laid-back about it all.

For me it was accepting that I will never have finished my work. There will always be more to do and I work incredibly hard for 10/11 hours a day, if I allow myself to get to stressed by it then it’s just too much of me that is my job. I truly love my job but I love my family too and when I’m too stressed with work they end up getting a really shit version of me.

When I’m at work, I am focussed and work bloody hard and once I leave, I forget (I accept this is not possible for all) - being out with nature (walking/cycling), pets (a friendly house bunny), reading, TV drama (currently Happy Valley) and eating properly - also, keeping a well organised, uncluttered house helps me (I am a single parent).

Nature is top though 🌼🙌🪷

I think it depends on the job. I work in healthcare and easily switch it off, because there are no ongoing deadlines for me. I go in, I perform well (I think) but at the end of shift, it's then the next persons role to take that over. If I had deadlines and an office, with an ongoing obligation, I think I'd find that harder.

You either don't let it get to you. Or you leave. No job is worth excessive stress

I used to be good at this but WFH ( in my bedroom to be precise) has blurred the boundaries.
I think the commute helped me transition if that makes sense.
TBH home life is fairly complicated right now so also bleeds into work life and my head is thinking about a dozen things at once.
Fresh air and a walk usually help.

What is a low stress job?

I'm exactly the same, except I go back slightly earlier and swap running for exercise classes.

This is my first so really hoping I can achieve a better work life balance (I have no choice really, but more of a mental state of balance).

I still get stressed sometimes when I am particularly busy, but the only thing that has really worked for me is getting near retirement age and having paid off my mortgage, I know I could survive if I lost my job ( although I don't want to have to!) I work from home and I switch off my laptop at the end of the working day and I don't look at any work emails or answer any calls until the next time I am working. I am quite clear to everybody that when I am not working I am not contactable. I ensure there is a good handover when I go on leave and I have to trust that my cover does what they are meant to do. Knowing that I can survive without my job helps so much.

I had this problem and have mostly cured it. I am a chronic worrier and perfectionist. So some of this might sound bonkers.

• Don't work over your hours. Not 10 minutes, not an hour. If its an emergency, its someone else's problem - Practice saying 'I can't, sorry' as a full sentence. Don't explain. Google grey rock. Just stop. Completely.
• If you have to do overtime financially, set limits. It's tempting to take the 20 hours available as you are saving for xxx. Restrict yourself to 10. Or only Mon-Wed. Etc.
• No work emails on a personal phone ever. If they want you to have email available to you in your working hours on a mobile device, they need to provide one.
• No checking your emails or checking in etc outside of work time.
• Annual Leave is sacred. Don't check emails, don't offer to change/cancel unless it benefits you.
• If you manage a team, sometimes they need to physically hear you say 'I will fight for you, we are a team. But sometimes I'm going to have to make decisions you don't like or I don't like because it's my job and if I don't I get into trouble. That doesn't mean I don't value you or your work. It's just that's the job. I go home and I stress about delivering bad news because I'm human. I will make mistakes because I'm human. Lets just try and stick together and support each other where we can, even if its hard' ... might sound obvious and patronising to most but some people do actually need it pointing out to them that their manager is a human being with feelings and a life and is following orders just like them...

If you are a perfectionist:

• Don't work through lunch or over.
• Say no, you don't have capacity more.

• Do less. Do you actually need to change that document because the format annoys you? Do you actually need to sort that cupboard out because you have to lift x out of the way to get to Y? Just DONT. You will live with it. No-one will think less of you because no-one notices half of what you do. (Horrible but true) And you've already set yourself up with a good reputation so no-one will notice if you just work at a standard level. Just stop. Leave it for someone else to deal with.
• If it doesnt direct impact you or your work, STAY OUT OF IT.

Additional tips that are mostly tongue in cheek...

• Get a dog
• Change jobs (but why not?)

I stopped stressing about work by reminding myself that they only pay me for X hours pw and this isn't one of them.

I didn't really crack that until I was about 40 though.

Brilliant advice @KILM

Thank you.

I used to look after a lot of newbies at work and I'd always say, you can only do one thing at a time and you can only do your best.

If you do that and things don't get done, your manager needs to sort it, not you.

I'd also say you don't own the company so don't worry about their profits. You're on your wages no matter what.

And one for hellish phone conversations - they all hang up eventually.

I agree with others about some kind of exercise, preferably outdoors is great for switching off. I used to cycle home for 10 miles and by the time I arrived, I'd have forgotten what I'd even been working on that day.

The more you enforce boundaries between work and home, the better you'll get at it, i.e. not checking emails outside of work, phone calls, taking your proper break and sticking to your working hours.

I think it's really common OP so don't feel like you're doing anything wrong.

A few tips for me, these may not work for you but thought I'd share:

• Remember that almost everything you need to do at work, even when you're overwhelmed, is pretty much just a list of relatively small tasks when you break it down

• Exercise in the evenings, I wasn't able to last night as was working away but tonight, I'll be going to the gym and having a swim at about 8pm, sets me up for a good sleep and relieves no end of tension

• I rarely, if ever, work late. I would much rather wake up early and get an hour or two in before anyone else is online. I tend to see the morning hours as pretty much all about getting ready for work anyway, whereas the evening is very much time for me and the family. It's amazing the clarity of thought you get from a) having slept on something, b) Having literally noone else working at 5.30-7.30am so no interruptions, c) being able to organise your day in advance of the craziness starting when everyone else comes online. Remember that in the vast majority of cases when someone needs something by the end of the day - they aren't getting to it until the morning so I do it first thing with a clear mind rather than let it creep into my home life. I don't do this often, but when the heat's on, it's my go-to strategy for handling the pressure.

• Finally, it's often about perspective and this takes experience and time to train your brain to realise - ultimately my projects are important to me, the team and the company I consult for - but unless it's in a very niche field, noone is going to die if I miss a deadline by a day, or am a little late to get something over the line. People are in jobs that a single misstep could kill someone - THAT'S pressure, my new app, service or customer journey isn't that big a deal in the scheme of things.

Like I say, these won't work for everyone but they certainly do for me.

Thank you everyone. I just feel at the moment I’m stuck in a rut of putting too much pressure on myself and letting my work worries take over my free time.

I drink too much and eat too much. I love my job, but it engulfs me. It hit home today when my sergeant (we are police) talked about cops never living that long and loads of us dying early. I don't know the answer.

Loved being a temp. Sitting in departmental meetings listening to all the stress and looking out of the window at the clouds and thinking 'None of this is my job to sort out or worry about....'

partly knowing that you're unlikely to be the one picking up the pieces when those higher up are making shit choices about a project you're working on

Definitely that one. Also the serenity that comes from realising when shit does hit fan you'll be long gone.