To want 6 hours per week to myself

[HallieM93]

So to give some background - my DS is nearly 2, I originally went back to work part time when he was 5 months old but gave it up in September22 to spend more time with DS and also the stressful evenings and childcare etc was taking it’s toll on both my DH and I.

I’ve now been a SAHM for 4 months, in the last month I have redecorated 2 rooms in the house, decluttered every room other than the loft, I hoover and clean the house every day and obviously spend lots of quality time with my DS, currently moving onto my third room to decorate with little to no help as DH is obviously hard at work and has his own business. Needless to say I feel very blessed to be able to stay at home with DS and make the most of these preschool years but I think I’m going a little insane and my OCD is really at its peak (I only developed OCD during pregnancy and was diagnosed postnatal)

I try to find fun things to do with DS to get us out the house and arrange things with friends and family to break the week up, I’ve tried baking and cooking new recipes, we try to get to playgroups and as mentioned lots of decorating in the house but honestly, I’m going nuts and actually exhausting myself in the process because of being home so much and the need to have everything in order which is totally my own fault but anyhow.

I don’t think I would even want to return to work and be away from DS right now and my DH is also preferable to this, but I would just like a few hours per week to myself for example bathing ON MY OWN some evenings, going to the gym 3 times per week, nipping to the supermarket alone on a Saturday morning… AIBU to ask DH to take care or DS for 6 / 7 hours per week over a couple of evenings or at the weekend so I can have some time alone snd to get out the house although he works Monday - Friday?

Are you saying your DH never has DS on his own?

When my DD was about 15 months old she started going to nursery just two afternoons a week and I used that time purely for doing things I wanted to - I would go for a long walk both days, maybe prep dinner for that night, make myself a nice lunch, or sometimes just watch TV for a bit and relax. Or catch up on some housework, or go to the gym.

Of course that’s not unreasonable- it should be totally normal, in fact. Both you and your DH should have equal free leisure time where you’re not parenting or working. You get 6 hours, he gets 6 hours.

Surely you split all the time outside his working hours? Going to the supermarket is not self-care!

Assuming he gets similar time on his own YANBU.

What time does DH finish work?

he should get home, eat his dinner then get stuck in with taking care of DC, you could have a bath before or after DC has gone to bed at 8ish?

At the weekend it should just be split fairly.

I’d send DS to nursery or see if any family would be willing to take them, one day a week.

I think organising your time so that you both have a similar amount of downtime is sensible. What happens low in the evenings/weekends? Does he go to the gym 3 times a week?

Joins a gym with childcare - DS can use while you exercise. Also what @Whatatimetobealivetoday said.
Are you getting treatment for your OCD?
It’s lovely to have a tidy house but I used to find the tidier my house was the less happy I was.