To tell DH about DSD (10) WhatsApp messages?

[Beachyrain94]

Okay, before I start let me just clarify I’m not one for snooping on phones, never have been, and I fully trust my SD to come to either her mum, dad (DH) or me (step-mum) with any problems / worries / life stuff etc she’s dealing with.

However; DSD has an iphone which I personally don’t agree with at 10 (but that’s not my battle) and an iPad, and she uses both for playing games, watching YouTube, FaceTiming friends and WhatsApp groups etc.

On Saturday I was sat watching the tele when she came downstairs to use the bathroom and left her phone on the table in front of me unlocked. I could hear and see it buzzing away in one chat. Long story short she’s messaging this boy in her class at school who’s asking her to FaceTime and just non-stop messaging her. Just before she put the phone down she’d written “Nah I have a boyfriend” and sent it to this boy. He then responded with “Who??” “??????”.

This is news to me (and clearly to him) as she’s always vehemently opposed to boyfriends / girlfriends etc and laughs about people in her class who are ‘in love’ and break up the next week.

AIBU to think I should tell her Dad about what I read or just leave it? At the end of the day, I’d never have known otherwise and if she wanted to tell us she would? I honestly wish I’d never looked at that will serve me right!

Unless you have any specific concerns, Id leave that alone. Sounds pretty standard 10 year old stuff.

Maybe hint to DH that he should be keeping a close eye on her online activity but not specifically due to this boy / boyfriend.

Non of your business. If her mum and dad are fine with her having a phone they should be checking it regular. She was probably just saying it to make him leave her alone.

Yeah she probably just wants him to stop messaging so saying it to shut him up, but her parents should be checking her messages at 10 I think.

I fully trust my SD to come to either her mum, dad (DH) or me (step-mum) with any problems / worries / life stuff etc she’s dealing with.

Yes because 10 year olds are fully equipped to know what to do in the event of "any life stuff".

If her Mum and Dad are going to let her be on social media at 10 (yes, WhatsApp is social medai) then the very least they can do is monitor it.

She is too young to be on social media, speak to her dad

She might have said it to shut him up.

I would talk to her about messaging and situations that you can find yourself in in a general sense (eg does she know not to send pics ?My kids learned about it in y7 which is too late imo ) or tricks like how to use mute/block ?

Her parents should be responsible for this but it won't do any harm if she hears general conversation like not messaging people back if they have annoyed you etc

Thanks all, you’re definitely putting my mind at rest a bit. I’ll see if I can mention it in conversation casually about not sending pictures etc and choosing carefully who to talk to, but 10000% agreed this really should be coming from the parents. It’s just flagged in my brain actually that that’s why it’s making me feel so uneasy, because neither mum or dad check messages / monitor activity, it genuinely is just a free for all which worries me. And here I am letting all my anxieties out to the world haha!

Sd is lucky to have you looking out for her. It is a scary world out there and it's hard to educate them when they think that they are too smart to be tricked and cat fished etc

Does she have Snapchat ? The disappearing texts would be a massive worry and yeh ages of the kids using it just gets younger and younger.

At 10, there is absolutely no way she should be having unmonitored WhatsApp conversations.

She may be trustworthy, but at 10, it's not about trust. It is very easy for a child to be convinced to send inappropriate messages or images, by a peer or by someone else. I won't even go into bullying.

I'm surprised they're not already doing this, 10 is so young to have an unmonitored phone.